MIL rescinded offer
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Anonymous
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I was in the same situation when my FIL had a big argument with DH and they decided not talking to each other anymore. We were left to find babysitter on the Friday before I went back to work on Monday but my FIL actually offer to look after DD until we find someone to take care of her permanently.
I feel your frustrating but your MIL may not realize how hard it is on the bad day when first offering you. She may overwhelm to say not to want to take care of your kid ever. Ask her if she can at lease take care of your kid until you find someone to do it or daycare slot available if you have no other choice. |
Anonymous
| She was honest, give her a break. |
Anonymous
+1. At least MIL realized the job was overwhelming and beyond her capability. Better she not babysit than your child/her grandchild receive subpar care. |
Anonymous
| Any resolution, OP? |
Anonymous
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I'm the OP. Since she didn't want to watch the baby this past week, we found alternate care. Daycare can take the baby full time in a couple weeks, so everything will turn out just fine. What bothers me is being left in a lurch at the last minute. DH is more upset than I am.
I do understand that taking care of an infant is hard, exhausting work. And I'm glad she dropped out early rather than a few months in. I was going to make MIL a cute little "thanks for taking care of me, grandma" card, but now I fear making one will make me look passive aggressive! |
Anonymous
OP, glad to hear that things worked out. In terms of the card, skip it. It's definitely extreme to hold a grudge forever for your MIL like one poster advocated, but you also don't have to be extra nice to her about things either if it is a great effort for you. If it were me, I'd just stay out of MIL's way. Don't go to crazy efforts to call or skype (but do take her calls) while you are getting over this. And I would remember in the future that your MIL isn't a good judge of her own abilities, so in the future don't count on her for childcare or other favors that would cause major problems if she backed out. Like I would let her babysit the kid for a dinner date when the baby is asleep beforehand, but only if her canceling would not put you out (like a romantic dinner or movie, probably fine, a work function or dinner party where you RSVPed, no.) |
Anonymous
| Before people talk you into trying to punish MIL, find out if there are health issues you don't know about. |
Anonymous
| You've gotten some good advice about the immediate child care problem. Other than that, be gracious. This woman will be in your life, and important to your child, for a long time. Don't rely on her any more, but continue to love her. |
Anonymous
| Glad it worked out OP! If your MIL is still willing, I'd still totally take her up on low stakes babysitting offers, like for the occasional brunch date with DH - I would love to get that even once every couple of months! I was the PP who's MIL had to cut her commitment short and while it was kind of a shock at first, we quickly got back to normal, but with adjusted expectations. I hope you all are able to too. |
Anonymous
Taking care of children is hard work. Some grandmothers want to be in the children's life, but don't want the work. They want you to squeeze some time out of your busy schedule, prepare everything, take the child to them so grandmas can be properly entertained, but not for so long that they'll actually have to do any work, and repeat this on regular basis. This way she's a grandma, but fun grandma - not boring like parents who have to control junk food disbursement and brush their teeth, etc. Lazy American grand-mothering. |