What is your biggest regret in life?

[Anonymous]

Reading DCUM daily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That I didn't marry someone who could, at least every once in a while, take care of me. I'm the equal breadwinner, cook, shopper, cleaner, organizer, bill payer, birthday gift buyer. I wish I had had the chance to marry someone with at least as much energy and competence as I have. It's exhausting running the household with a "helper" rather than a partner.

+ a gazillion

[Anonymous]

Marrying my husband

[Anonymous]

Botching my educational opportunities and my career. I am now a SAH but feel like a loser who couldn't cut it.

Also, generally being not great at making and keeping lots of good friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had not slept with so many men when I was in my teens and twenties. Not all of them were good in bed, most of them didn't really value me or care about me, and I feel disgusted by my low standards, looking back.

I used to laugh at the "good girls" and mock them for being repressed little prudes, but now that I'm older and more mature, and have a DD of my own, I envy the well-behaved girls of my childhood and am determined to raise DD like that.

+1 Me too. I regret this every day and it's affected me so much. I understand that abstinence education doesn't work, but I wish I would have known how much it would affect me, sleeping around, and I wish someone would have told me not to do it.

+1 Same here. I think the prevailing dominant culture glorifies casual sex so much that any attempt to discuss the disadvantages of casual sex gets cried down as religious repression or prudishness. I wish someone had taught me to have standards and how much of emotional impact sex would have on me.

But if a parent did tell you, would you have listened? Or would it just be "blah blah blah", in one ear out the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had not slept with so many men when I was in my teens and twenties. Not all of them were good in bed, most of them didn't really value me or care about me, and I feel disgusted by my low standards, looking back.

I used to laugh at the "good girls" and mock them for being repressed little prudes, but now that I'm older and more mature, and have a DD of my own, I envy the well-behaved girls of my childhood and am determined to raise DD like that.

+1 Me too. I regret this every day and it's affected me so much. I understand that abstinence education doesn't work, but I wish I would have known how much it would affect me, sleeping around, and I wish someone would have told me not to do it.

How did it affect you? I slept around a bunch, too - didn't get married till my mid-30s - and while I definitely shudder to think of some of the guys I was with in my past, I don't feel like it had any long-term consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had not slept with so many men when I was in my teens and twenties. Not all of them were good in bed, most of them didn't really value me or care about me, and I feel disgusted by my low standards, looking back.

It's not your number that is the problem, it's the losers that are. You even admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sadly things keep getting worse. The binge drinking hookup culture at college is making it harder and harder to have meaningful relationships. People delaying marriage also mean they will have more casual relationships.

Pick better guys to sleep with instead of ones who treat you like shit. Hard, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret throwing so much energy into bad relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but wasting time being a good friend to people who didn't reciprocate (or worse, took advantage), putting up with abusive behavior from family members "because they're family", etc. I regret that it took me so long to get a better sense of boundaries and the willingness to tell people no.

Wisdom is hard won. You did it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not going abroad to live in another country and learning another language while I was in college.

+1.

[Anonymous]

abortion when I was 27. selfish and unforgivable. what makes matters worse is that I ended up marrying the father - still married and we have 2 children. sibling would have been starting college now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I didn't marry someone who could, at least every once in a while, take care of me. I'm the equal breadwinner, cook, shopper, cleaner, organizer, bill payer, birthday gift buyer. I wish I had had the chance to marry someone with at least as much energy and competence as I have. It's exhausting running the household with a "helper" rather than a partner.

+ a gazillion

Well said. But I'm the breadwinner, primary lRent and organizer. For a very long time, I wanted the children to see us as a "team",,, now I just want them to know they will receive co stand emotional support from me as they mature...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:abortion when I was 27. selfish and unforgivable. what makes matters worse is that I ended up marrying the father - still married and we have 2 children. sibling would have been starting college now.

Don't beat yourself up over it. My mother had an abortion at 27 and she was already married to my father. She said she doesn't regret it because if she had gone through with that pregnancy they never would have adopted my older brother two years later. Things happen for a reason, if you had gone through with that pregnancy would you have had your other kids at the same time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:abortion when I was 27. selfish and unforgivable. what makes matters worse is that I ended up marrying the father - still married and we have 2 children. sibling would have been starting college now.

I am sad for you. I am sure there are many women who feel like you do. Just give your two kids lots of love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not focusing on education. I'm 48 & still working on my Bachelor's degree!

Good for you for persevering!