Does anyone feel sad or upset when they encounter pregnant fertility center staff?

[Anonymous]

**I HOPE it was an easy fix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nurse I loved best at my clinic got pregnant while I was going through a long ordeal trying for my second.

I definitely felt sad and unlucky. But I simply forced myself to feel happy for her. Fake it until you make it kind of thing. She was a good person and was rooting for me so damn hard and really, her being pregnant had no bearing on whether I would get pregnant.

It's hard though. You feel the ugly emotion and then you feel like crap for feeling the ugly emotion. What a great double whammy. The only thing you DO have control over is how you choose to handle the whole thing.

I think alike, and yes, I had pregnant staff in the fertility clinic, but worse, by far, was the pregnant patients AND staff throughout my appointments for my miscarriage and D+C. I was just sad for myself, not angry. It's kind of rubbing in the feeling of hopelessness.
But you gotta live on, and make peace with yourself and others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how entitled you all sound. The world doesn't owe you a baby, and everyone around you can't stop having babies just because you waited til 40 to start trying. Grow up.

Not everybody here is 40...I'm 28 and started trying as soon as hubby gave me the ok. I never imagined myself here, especially since my period has always been regular. I thought it would just happen just like it does to everybody else...but nothing.

PP, I am sorry you had to deal with IF at such an younger age. The poster you respodned too is clearly ignorant and had never been to an IF clinic. Just a quick scan in the waiting room, would show her that most patients are in their 20ies to early 30ies. I started at 34 and ended up in an IF clininc within months. The RE did nto take me seriously because I was not "old enough". Until he run few tests and discovered a medical condition that would have prevented pregnancy in my 20ies too.

I'm glad they were able to find the problem for you and that it was an easy fix.... We are unexplained. My RE even said "I don't see any reason you can't be pregnant in 6 months". I knew something was wrong after ttc 9 months and all my friends told me I "just needed a vacation". Well now after waiting the full year ttc plus 3 failed iuis, I kinda feel vindicated that something is indeed wrong but geez it'd be nice if we knew what.

Unfortunately, the fix has not been easy. Since that first RE meeting, I have done 8 IVFs and have not seen a BFP. I am sorry your path has been difficult. You probably know that more likely than not, unexplained infertility is simply undiagnosed one. Have you checked for endo or immune issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how entitled you all sound. The world doesn't owe you a baby, and everyone around you can't stop having babies just because you waited til 40 to start trying. Grow up.

Not everybody here is 40...I'm 28 and started trying as soon as hubby gave me the ok. I never imagined myself here, especially since my period has always been regular. I thought it would just happen just like it does to everybody else...but nothing.

PP, I am sorry you had to deal with IF at such an younger age. The poster you respodned too is clearly ignorant and had never been to an IF clinic. Just a quick scan in the waiting room, would show her that most patients are in their 20ies to early 30ies. I started at 34 and ended up in an IF clininc within months. The RE did nto take me seriously because I was not "old enough". Until he run few tests and discovered a medical condition that would have prevented pregnancy in my 20ies too.

I'm glad they were able to find the problem for you and that it was an easy fix.... We are unexplained. My RE even said "I don't see any reason you can't be pregnant in 6 months". I knew something was wrong after ttc 9 months and all my friends told me I "just needed a vacation". Well now after waiting the full year ttc plus 3 failed iuis, I kinda feel vindicated that something is indeed wrong but geez it'd be nice if we knew what.

Unfortunately, the fix has not been easy. Since that first RE meeting, I have done 8 IVFs and have not seen a BFP. I am sorry your path has been difficult. You probably know that more likely than not, unexplained infertility is simply undiagnosed one. Have you checked for endo or immune issues?

I have not been checked for either of those, but I've certainly read up on them. I think our problem is either a fertilization or implantation problem, leaning towards fertilization since I've never even detected a cp and my lining has always looked "beautiful". I really think the DH is the problem... He only has 4% morphology which is technically normal, but something like 80% of his sperm had head defects, with only a small amount with midsection and tail defects. His motility has also been a little screwy on the last two IUI's. I can't help but wonder if all that points to a larger "issue" and maybe even his normal ones aren't competent/lacking something to get the job done. Probably a lot of denial with this but I just have a hard time accepting that I have bad eggs at my age, ya know? I always have such perfect looking follicles on my scans and my lining is beautiful too. How could everything look so great but nothing ever takes?? It's so frustrating! Unfortunately, because of my age, I have to go through 3 more IUI's before insurance will cover IVF (and it doesn't make sense to pay out of pocket to skip ahead) so we won't know much more until we get to that point. And maybe/hopefully I'm terribly wrong about my theory and the next IUI works!

[Anonymous]

AnonymousI have not been checked for either of those, but I've certainly read up on them. I think our problem is either a fertilization or implantation problem, leaning towards fertilization since I've never even detected a cp and my lining has always looked "beautiful". I really think the DH is the problem... He only has 4% morphology which is [i wrote:technically[/i] normal, but something like 80% of his sperm had head defects, with only a small amount with midsection and tail defects. His motility has also been a little screwy on the last two IUI's. I can't help but wonder if all that points to a larger "issue" and maybe even his normal ones aren't competent/lacking something to get the job done. Probably a lot of denial with this but I just have a hard time accepting that I have bad eggs at my age, ya know? I always have such perfect looking follicles on my scans and my lining is beautiful too. How could everything look so great but nothing ever takes?? It's so frustrating! Unfortunately, because of my age, I have to go through 3 more IUI's before insurance will cover IVF (and it doesn't make sense to pay out of pocket to skip ahead) so we won't know much more until we get to that point. And maybe/hopefully I'm terribly wrong about my theory and the next IUI works!

Have you thought about doing sperm DNA fragmentation test or the hyaluronan binding test to see if it is the sperm that has problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

AnonymousI have not been checked for either of those, but I've certainly read up on them. I think our problem is either a fertilization or implantation problem, leaning towards fertilization since I've never even detected a cp and my lining has always looked "beautiful". I really think the DH is the problem... He only has 4% morphology which is [i wrote:technically[/i] normal, but something like 80% of his sperm had head defects, with only a small amount with midsection and tail defects. His motility has also been a little screwy on the last two IUI's. I can't help but wonder if all that points to a larger "issue" and maybe even his normal ones aren't competent/lacking something to get the job done. Probably a lot of denial with this but I just have a hard time accepting that I have bad eggs at my age, ya know? I always have such perfect looking follicles on my scans and my lining is beautiful too. How could everything look so great but nothing ever takes?? It's so frustrating! Unfortunately, because of my age, I have to go through 3 more IUI's before insurance will cover IVF (and it doesn't make sense to pay out of pocket to skip ahead) so we won't know much more until we get to that point. And maybe/hopefully I'm terribly wrong about my theory and the next IUI works!

Have you thought about doing sperm DNA fragmentation test or the hyaluronan binding test to see if it is the sperm that has problems?

I haven't really looked into it... Not sure testing for it would change the plan. I kinda figured we'd just do icsi to cover our bases anyway when the time comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not been checked for either of those, but I've certainly read up on them. I think our problem is either a fertilization or implantation problem, leaning towards fertilization since I've never even detected a cp and my lining has always looked "beautiful". I really think the DH is the problem... He only has 4% morphology which is technically normal, but something like 80% of his sperm had head defects, with only a small amount with midsection and tail defects. His motility has also been a little screwy on the last two IUI's. I can't help but wonder if all that points to a larger "issue" and maybe even his normal ones aren't competent/lacking something to get the job done. Probably a lot of denial with this but I just have a hard time accepting that I have bad eggs at my age, ya know? I always have such perfect looking follicles on my scans and my lining is beautiful too. How could everything look so great but nothing ever takes?? It's so frustrating! Unfortunately, because of my age, I have to go through 3 more IUI's before insurance will cover IVF (and it doesn't make sense to pay out of pocket to skip ahead) so we won't know much more until we get to that point. And maybe/hopefully I'm terribly wrong about my theory and the next IUI works!

Ugh. I can't tell you how many times I heard how "beautiful" my lining was and, as it turned out, I had horrible implantation issues. Please don't let that mislead you! There's so much that could be wrong that isn't visible on ultrasound.

[Anonymous]

My nurse got pregnant while I was going through treatments. She then had a miscarriage. Then the tables were turned and I felt a little awkward about my subsequent pregnancy.

There was another pregnant staff member and it didn't bother me. I was envious, yes, but it didn't make me feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how entitled you all sound. The world doesn't owe you a baby, and everyone around you can't stop having babies just because you waited til 40 to start trying. Grow up.

Actually I think this is the least entitled "others are pregnant and I'm not" posts I've ever seen on DCUM

Just want to add, showing intial emotion (jealousy, surprise, etc) isn't entitled. Entitled would be asking for a different nurse because they couldn't have a pregnant one, complaining to the office manager that it was insensitive to have pregnant nurses and insist they either be hidden from patients or put on leave. Those are entitled. Having a normal emotional reaction that you keep to yourself is NOT entitled.

I don't think it's a normal emotional reaction. I always bite my tongue when I see these posts because they seem so incredibly mean spirited. You feel bad because someone else is pregnant -- something that would bring you yourself joy? That is so sick to me. It's hateful. Because you are suffering with infertility doesn't mean you should be feeling that way toward other women.

Maybe take a step back from DCUM. It does bring out the dark side of people.

That's how I thought until I had 2 miscarriages, 2 subsequent D&Cs and 1 chemical within the past 9 months at the ripe old age of 28. I went to my best friends baby shower this weekend and I was bewildered by how non-chalant she and the other mothers there were about their kids and pregnancies. There are people that conceive easily AND get to keep their babies? Just like that? Meanwhile I'm taking hormones and injecting myself with blood thinners every day and anxiously awaiting what is now an elusive BFP.

Anyway, the anguish of infertility is nothing you can imagine until you have experienced it. You may think you get it but you really don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how entitled you all sound. The world doesn't owe you a baby, and everyone around you can't stop having babies just because you waited til 40 to start trying. Grow up.

What a presumptuous poster. You assume everyone that experiences IF is because they were too "self centered" to have children until they were 40. Grow up! I started going to a fertility clinic when I was 27 years old and know many others in my position. Who are you to judge.

[Anonymous]

I just remind my self that the success of others has no impact on whether I get pregnant. The only time I get annoyed with a pregnant person is whe they give me advice like, you just need to relaxe and it will happen, but lots of people give that advice.

[Anonymous]

[b]

Anonymous wrote:I just remind my self that the success of others has no impact on whether I get pregnant. The only time I get annoyed with a pregnant person is whe they give me advice like, you just need to relaxe and it will happen, but lots of people give that advice.

Yep. I was very lucky and finally conceived through IVF after quite the long haul. My SIL's best friend told her that 'she wasn't trying hard enough' and tried to give her advice on what to do. My SIL has endometriosis and wasn't able to conceive. They were unable to afford IVF, so had to stop after failed IUIs. Needless to say, my SIL rightfully freaked out at her friend and didn't to speak to her friend for a couple of years. My SIL is a much better person than me because she has reconciled with her friend. I would have been to upset to ever talk to the person again :/.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how entitled you all sound. The world doesn't owe you a baby, and everyone around you can't stop having babies just because you waited til 40 to start trying. Grow up.

Actually I think this is the least entitled "others are pregnant and I'm not" posts I've ever seen on DCUM

I was thinking the same thing. The posters were all saying "yeah, it hurts a little bit but I understand that's me not them". We have had threads where posters seem to expect more from their clinic in terms of shelter than realistically possible but that wasn't on display here.

At my clinic, the woman who drew blood was very pregnant for a portion of my time there. She was the fastest and best blood taker there so days she was off I realized I'd rather have a good pregnant technician over a bad not pregnant one any day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how entitled you all sound. The world doesn't owe you a baby, and everyone around you can't stop having babies just because you waited til 40 to start trying. Grow up.

I wish this forum required a login, because you sound like the same miserable poster that always chimes in with something cruel and insensitive. You are awesome, flawless and lead a charmed life--congrats.

Though, in reality we all know that there is something making this person deeply unhappy, or else there would be no reason to lash out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't think it's a normal emotional reaction. I always bite my tongue when I see these posts because they seem so incredibly mean spirited. You feel bad because someone else is pregnant -- something that would bring you yourself joy? That is so sick to me. It's hateful. Because you are suffering with infertility doesn't mean you should be feeling that way toward other women.

Maybe take a step back from DCUM. It does bring out the dark side of people.

Oh sweetheart. What's making you so deeply hateful today? Perhaps you are such a sunny person that you've never felt a twinge of regret when something you've worked very hard for isn't materializing while it comes seemingly easy to others...financial success? thinness? a beautiful home? a wonderful partner? an advanced degree? a promotion? But if that's the case, I doubt you'd be coming here and calling women fighting very hard to build their families entitled for having feelings. That's not what a sunny happy person does. So, I'm sorry for your pain too. Whatever is explaining it.