Son Stole from Camp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Did he think it was stealing? Lost and founds often turn into free stuff. Was he confused, or was this actually premeditated theft?

I'd handle it with the camp.

Turn into free stuff? Not in my experience.... and there's no point in a L&F if there's no hope of claiming your own belongings again.

[Anonymous]

the consequence for your son should be facing up to it. Contact the camp, then drive the stuff back with your son. (It may be closed, but someone is probably still there. If not, then I agree that you should ask the admins to email all the parents to ask them to contact them if there is anything missing. (It is a little weird no one at camp noticed this.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Did he think it was stealing? Lost and founds often turn into free stuff. Was he confused, or was this actually premeditated theft?

I'd handle it with the camp.

Turn into free stuff? Not in my experience.... and there's no point in a L&F if there's no hope of claiming your own belongings again.

Well, the person who was an actual camp counselor already posted that yes, it does turn into free stuff at the end of the season. Schools do this, too.

OP, did you ASK your DS if it was "end of the year free stuff" or did he say he took it from the lost and found while camp was in session?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Did he think it was stealing? Lost and founds often turn into free stuff. Was he confused, or was this actually premeditated theft?

I'd handle it with the camp.

Turn into free stuff? Not in my experience.... and there's no point in a L&F if there's no hope of claiming your own belongings again.

Well, the person who was an actual camp counselor already posted that yes, it does turn into free stuff at the end of the season. Schools do this, too.

OP, did you ASK your DS if it was "end of the year free stuff" or did he say he took it from the lost and found while camp was in session?

Actually, where I was a teacher it did NOT turn to free stuff, but after the season it got washed and pressed and taken to a homeless shelter. We were pretty clear about it being other people's stuff, and not a free-for-all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Did he think it was stealing? Lost and founds often turn into free stuff. Was he confused, or was this actually premeditated theft?

I'd handle it with the camp.

Turn into free stuff? Not in my experience.... and there's no point in a L&F if there's no hope of claiming your own belongings again.

Well, the person who was an actual camp counselor already posted that yes, it does turn into free stuff at the end of the season. Schools do this, too.

OP, did you ASK your DS if it was "end of the year free stuff" or did he say he took it from the lost and found while camp was in session?

Actually, where I was a teacher it did NOT turn to free stuff, but after the season it got washed and pressed and taken to a homeless shelter. We were pretty clear about it being other people's stuff, and not a free-for-all.

Awesome. But that's not the case everywhere. We need to know what the circumstances are at OP's DS's camp, not your old school.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP. I'm proud of you. It is hard to be a good parent and teach your kid tough lessons, but he'll be better for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. I'm proud of you. It is hard to be a good parent and teach your kid tough lessons, but he'll be better for it.

Thank you. Was quite upset that he had taken those things home.
@2108: my son was not quite a counsellor but he was like a group leader. So what he said was they got the kids to walk around the lost and found area and thereafter after most of the campers left they had to pack, clean and clear camp and that's when they were also told that they could help themselves with the lost and found. The camp was using "borrowed" premises so it is possible they had to clear everything out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gave my son a shelling today because I have discovered he has stolen from a summer camp that has just ended. (He ended up with 4 backpacks with other people's stuff in it) He claims it was the last day and in the lost and found but it is stealing anyway in my opinion. He is now grounded but any other tips from other parents that have stolen stuff before? What other measures do you guys do? Also what do you do with the stuff? I have no way of finding out who they belong too. (and some are girls stuff too!) He can be grounded this weekend but he has yet another exciting camp paid for already for the next two weeks. (with no cancelling policy). What would you do? release him or ground him further.

I'm missing something here. Who picks up your child from camp? If it is you or your spouse, wouldn't you see what he is bringing home and instantly know when he has something that does not belong to him? My 11 year old DS had another pair of sneakers in his hand the last day of camp. I said to him before we left the camp grounds "whose shoes are those in your hand?" I knew they weren't his. He said "Oh, these are Joey's". He and Joey had swapped shoes. I told him to find Joey and get his shoes back and return Joey's to him. I know this was a case of shoe swapping and not stealing but I would definitely notice a backpack or other big item DS would bring home. Plus, DS doesn't really care about anybody's stuff except his. Why is your DS stealing also? That may indicate some other issues which might require therapy. There was a thread recently on a child stealing. I don't think grounding is going to help if it is a habitual problem and claiming 4 backpacks from the lost and found does not sound normal. Who does that? This sounds serious, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave my son a shelling today because I have discovered he has stolen from a summer camp that has just ended. (He ended up with 4 backpacks with other people's stuff in it) He claims it was the last day and in the lost and found but it is stealing anyway in my opinion. He is now grounded but any other tips from other parents that have stolen stuff before? What other measures do you guys do? Also what do you do with the stuff? I have no way of finding out who they belong too. (and some are girls stuff too!) He can be grounded this weekend but he has yet another exciting camp paid for already for the next two weeks. (with no cancelling policy). What would you do? release him or ground him further.

I'm missing something here. Who picks up your child from camp? If it is you or your spouse, wouldn't you see what he is bringing home and instantly know when he has something that does not belong to him? My 11 year old DS had another pair of sneakers in his hand the last day of camp. I said to him before we left the camp grounds "whose shoes are those in your hand?" I knew they weren't his. He said "Oh, these are Joey's". He and Joey had swapped shoes. I told him to find Joey and get his shoes back and return Joey's to him. I know this was a case of shoe swapping and not stealing but I would definitely notice a backpack or other big item DS would bring home. Plus, DS doesn't really care about anybody's stuff except his. Why is your DS stealing also? That may indicate some other issues which might require therapy. There was a thread recently on a child stealing. I don't think grounding is going to help if it is a habitual problem and claiming 4 backpacks from the lost and found does not sound normal. Who does that? This sounds serious, OP.

I had another parent pick up my child on the last day as both my husband and I couldn't pick him up that day. He claims it was a waste to see those things dumped off so that's why he took them. That's according to him but it is something we had corrected him on now. Whilst he brought home 4 backpacks he packed two backpacks into one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. I'm proud of you. It is hard to be a good parent and teach your kid tough lessons, but he'll be better for it.

Thank you. Was quite upset that he had taken those things home.
@2108: my son was not quite a counsellor but he was like a group leader. So what he said was they got the kids to walk around the lost and found area and thereafter after most of the campers left they had to pack, clean and clear camp and that's when they were also told that they could help themselves with the lost and found. The camp was using "borrowed" premises so it is possible they had to clear everything out.

So the camp told him he could help himself, and you consider it stealing when he did? Why? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Okay OP I'm the PP who asked if you sure he was stealing (I wrote that sometimes it becomes free stuff) because something felt off here. If the camp told him to take what was left, how could that be construed as stealing? Why is he being punished? Did you at any point tell him never to take things from a lost and found? I think you owe your son an apology!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave my son a shelling today because I have discovered he has stolen from a summer camp that has just ended. (He ended up with 4 backpacks with other people's stuff in it) He claims it was the last day and in the lost and found but it is stealing anyway in my opinion. He is now grounded but any other tips from other parents that have stolen stuff before? What other measures do you guys do? Also what do you do with the stuff? I have no way of finding out who they belong too. (and some are girls stuff too!) He can be grounded this weekend but he has yet another exciting camp paid for already for the next two weeks. (with no cancelling policy). What would you do? release him or ground him further.

I'm missing something here. Who picks up your child from camp? If it is you or your spouse, wouldn't you see what he is bringing home and instantly know when he has something that does not belong to him? My 11 year old DS had another pair of sneakers in his hand the last day of camp. I said to him before we left the camp grounds "whose shoes are those in your hand?" I knew they weren't his. He said "Oh, these are Joey's". He and Joey had swapped shoes. I told him to find Joey and get his shoes back and return Joey's to him. I know this was a case of shoe swapping and not stealing but I would definitely notice a backpack or other big item DS would bring home. Plus, DS doesn't really care about anybody's stuff except his. Why is your DS stealing also? That may indicate some other issues which might require therapy. There was a thread recently on a child stealing. I don't think grounding is going to help if it is a habitual problem and claiming 4 backpacks from the lost and found does not sound normal. Who does that? This sounds serious, OP.

I had another parent pick up my child on the last day as both my husband and I couldn't pick him up that day. He claims it was a waste to see those things dumped off so that's why he took them. That's according to him but it is something we had corrected him on now. Whilst he brought home 4 backpacks he packed two backpacks into one.

Your son has a problem and you are in complete denial. My son is 11 and I don't know any of his friends who would do this even mistakenly. He would tell me if there was a classmate or friend who steals and, OP, it is stealing. Re-read the explanation you said he gave you. Like I said, what 11 year old says and does that? You think you have corrected it but the fact that he did that says there may be something deeper. And, perhaps he has taken other things that you are not aware of or are not paying attention to. Most parents notice things that do not belong to their children because we buy the things they wear or play with. OP, I wish you well but you need to take this seriously. When DS is in high school and taking other kids' stuff "because it was a waste to see those things dumped off..." or it was in a corner for more than a day unclaimed, it's just plain stealing and not putting it to good use. It will escalate and the excuses will be less convincing to third parties.

[Anonymous]

If someone in charge said, "Help yourself to the lost and found" I would not think twice about it. I would help myself. That is not stealing. You people are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Who wants other people's (sweaty) things? That sounds pathetic.

[Anonymous]

The items I tend to see at our camp's lost and found are things like: water bottles, swim goggles, books, hoodies, sweat shirts, lunch boxes, etc. Not typically sweaty clothes.

My response would depend on if the camp confirmed your son's story that the kids were told to help themselves on the last day. Has he stolen things before? If not,I'd be inclined to believe his story. I know that some camps without their own facilities that borrow/rent space in other places may not be able or willing to pack up a huge box of leftover crap on the off chance that someone may claim it. I've been amazed at the things I have seen at our school's lost and found! Like shoes? How can you lose your shoes?????

One of my kids was a bit of a "magpie" for awhile at after care and at school. She saw "shiny" things and couldn't resist them sometimes. I had her return them and made her apologize to the teacher and the after care director. But she was 5. She had impulse control issues in general and was later diagnosed with ADHD. When we started meds, the stealing stopped.