If you've been diagnosed or know someone with Borderline Personality Disorder....

[Anonymous]

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) (called emotionally unstable personality disorder, emotional intensity disorder, or borderline type in the ICD-10) is a cluster-B personality disorder, the essential feature of which is a pattern of marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image. The pattern is present by early adulthood and occurs across a variety of situations and contexts.[1]

Other symptoms usually include intense fears of abandonment and intense anger and irritability, the reason for which others have difficulty understanding.[1][2] People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.[3] Self-harm and suicidal behavior are common.[

PP: BPD is caused by childhood abuse sexual or otherwise. It is the atomic bomb of the personality -- it damages, trust, self esteem, relationships to others, and causes meanness, cruelty, selfishness. What is more mean cruel and selfish than a trusted adult abusing a child? The there is the syndrome abused grows up to be abuser.(There is always the exception) It is almost impossible to fix or cure because it is learned so young. It is very serious and is not just being "mean and manipulative"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone recommend some resources for family members of people with Borderline PD? Books? Websites? Are there support groups?

"Stop Walking on Eggshells."

"The Essential Family Guide to Borderline"

If this is for a partner or spouse, you will want to look at "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me."

Once you find those on Amazon, you can check out other books people who looked at these also looked at and read the reviews/

There is an organization called TARA that has a website and runs classes, mostly in NYC. The founder also has a book on BPD; can't quite remember the name right now but it is on her website.

bpdfamily.com has good information and pretty active forums, including ones for family members, that can serve as a virtual support group. There are different forums for spouses and parents, which is helpful because the needs are different.

There is the Metro DBT Forum of providers for BPD. (Note: This is not all inclusive. There are other providers of DBT training in the DC area.) One of them, Pat Harvey focuses on families. Not really a support group, but she runs family training sessions that I imagine operate a bit that way.

http://www.metrodbt.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Borderline personality disorder (BPD) (called emotionally unstable personality disorder, emotional intensity disorder, or borderline type in the ICD-10) is a cluster-B personality disorder, the essential feature of which is a pattern of marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image. The pattern is present by early adulthood and occurs across a variety of situations and contexts.[1]

Other symptoms usually include intense fears of abandonment and intense anger and irritability, the reason for which others have difficulty understanding.[1][2] People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.[3] Self-harm and suicidal behavior are common.[

PP: BPD is caused by childhood abuse sexual or otherwise. It is the atomic bomb of the personality -- it damages, trust, self esteem, relationships to others, and causes meanness, cruelty, selfishness. What is more mean cruel and selfish than a trusted adult abusing a child? The there is the syndrome abused grows up to be abuser.(There is always the exception) It is almost impossible to fix or cure because it is learned so young. It is very serious and is not just being "mean and manipulative"

A common belief, but NOT necessarily the case. PP's above description: The essential feature is marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image. This may indeed be a result of childhood abuse or neglect, but there are folks with BPD who have had caring, concerned parents who've done everything they could to deal with the disorder. There may be some relationship to bipolar illness, or another as yet undiscovered neurologic deficiency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Borderline personality disorder (BPD) (called emotionally unstable personality disorder, emotional intensity disorder, or borderline type in the ICD-10) is a cluster-B personality disorder, the essential feature of which is a pattern of marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image. The pattern is present by early adulthood and occurs across a variety of situations and contexts.[1]

Other symptoms usually include intense fears of abandonment and intense anger and irritability, the reason for which others have difficulty understanding.[1][2] People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.[3] Self-harm and suicidal behavior are common.[

PP: BPD is caused by childhood abuse sexual or otherwise. It is the atomic bomb of the personality -- it damages, trust, self esteem, relationships to others, and causes meanness, cruelty, selfishness. What is more mean cruel and selfish than a trusted adult abusing a child? The there is the syndrome abused grows up to be abuser.(There is always the exception) It is almost impossible to fix or cure because it is learned so young. It is very serious and is not just being "mean and manipulative"

The persistence of BPD isn't necessarily because of being "learned so young," it's because of the difficulty these people have with impulsivity and affect regulation - similar to someone who suffers from depression or mania.

There is evidence that many people with BPD mellow as they get older, with or without treatment - 40's and beyond. But many do not.

[Anonymous]

21:35 here. I do have what I guess would be called abandonment issues. I've always, always had a problem with people leaving even after a visit. (Cousins, grandparents) No idea where that comes from.

PP who mentioned her child being diagnosed with "just anxiety". I'm not sure how you meant that. (No big deal, or not something as wide ranging as BPD..?) Stay on it with him though as it can be debilitating in itself. It's tough to be the parent, too. I have one with what has been some pretty strong anxiety, it took a lot out of us to try and keep him on an even keel.

[Anonymous]

What type of impulsivity are you all talking about here? If someone really does suffer from this because of childhood abuse or trauma, then impulsivity, an inability to feel empathy (and resulting meanness and cruelty) and idealizing others makes sense -- I've read that people are locked in place at the level of development they were at the time of the trauma. So they are perpetually small children in this case, who are typically all of the above.

What is the "borderline" part of BPD? Borderline between what?

[Anonymous]

I was told I had BPD, but then was later diagnosed with PTSD. My psychiatrist said a lot of people are misdiagnosed with BPD, especially young women.

My mom is an abusive alcoholic, my dad died when I was young, I was raped and I am bulimic... Yeah. Therapy didn't help me at all. What helped me was working with kids and being shown unconditional love and acceptance, something I never got growing up. I always say that the kids saved me. I tried the DBT workbooks and went to rehab, but honestly it was the kids who made me want to change and get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was told I had BPD, but then was later diagnosed with PTSD. My psychiatrist said a lot of people are misdiagnosed with BPD, especially young women.

My mom is an abusive alcoholic, my dad died when I was young, I was raped and I am bulimic... Yeah. Therapy didn't help me at all. What helped me was working with kids and being shown unconditional love and acceptance, something I never got growing up. I always say that the kids saved me. I tried the DBT workbooks and went to rehab, but honestly it was the kids who made me want to change and get better.

I'm glad that you are feeling better. My ex was some version of BPD/NPD/bipolar. I did not see the red flags before we had our child. Our child, instead of "curing" him brought out wilder behavior swings (physical abuse, disappearances, lying for long periods of time). After his arrest for abuse he was forced into therapy, but as PPs noted it hasn't changed him at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: What is the "borderline" part of BPD? Borderline between what?

Borderline between neurosis and psychosis. It's outdated and should change.

[Anonymous]

I would be really curious to hear from someone who has had a BPD diagnosis, and also agrees with the diagnosis as fitting. But it seems like people with BPD have such a difficult time managing it, that it's either downplayed, or they are defensively angry. It doesn't seem like something that people ever have solid perspective of their personality disorder and how it affects and harms others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: What is the "borderline" part of BPD? Borderline between what?

Borderline between neurosis and psychosis. It's outdated and should change.

yes, so pejorative, it badly needs a new name. I'm surprised that the assorted DSM's haven't come up with one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be really curious to hear from someone who has had a BPD diagnosis, and also agrees with the diagnosis as fitting. But it seems like people with BPD have such a difficult time managing it, that it's either downplayed, or they are defensively angry. It doesn't seem like something that people ever have solid perspective of their personality disorder and how it affects and harms others.

I have a friend who openly admits a BPD diagnosis. In her case, she still has BPD. Being aware of the diagnosis doesn't change her behavior. Maybe in a twisted way, her acknowledgement of the disease allows her to continue to mistreat people because they should know she has BPD and can't control herself. I haven't had issues with her, but her romantic relationships are incredibly unstable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be really curious to hear from someone who has had a BPD diagnosis, and also agrees with the diagnosis as fitting. But it seems like people with BPD have such a difficult time managing it, that it's either downplayed, or they are defensively angry. It doesn't seem like something that people ever have solid perspective of their personality disorder and how it affects and harms others.

I have a friend who openly admits a BPD diagnosis. In her case, she still has BPD. Being aware of the diagnosis doesn't change her behavior. Maybe in a twisted way, her acknowledgement of the disease allows her to continue to mistreat people because they should know she has BPD and can't control herself. I haven't had issues with her, but her romantic relationships are incredibly unstable.

Typically it's intimate relationships that are most affected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be really curious to hear from someone who has had a BPD diagnosis, and also agrees with the diagnosis as fitting. But it seems like people with BPD have such a difficult time managing it, that it's either downplayed, or they are defensively angry. It doesn't seem like something that people ever have solid perspective of their personality disorder and how it affects and harms others.

I have a friend who openly admits a BPD diagnosis. In her case, she still has BPD. Being aware of the diagnosis doesn't change her behavior. Maybe in a twisted way, her acknowledgement of the disease allows her to continue to mistreat people because they should know she has BPD and can't control herself. I haven't had issues with her, but her romantic relationships are incredibly unstable.

I also have a male friend who was diagnosed BPD. Great guy to be friends with, but goes through women like water. He's 30 and his longest relationship was 4 months. It's very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: What is the "borderline" part of BPD? Borderline between what?

Borderline between neurosis and psychosis. It's outdated and should change.

+100 Most of these people sound like either PITA, bipolar, or you don't like them, rather than a psych diagnosis. Unless you have an MD or PHD, (in psychology, psychiatry) it is beyond rude to be throwing this around. All these MIL are NOT borderline personalities. YO!