My husband doesn't love me anymore - is this a sufficient reason for him to divorce me?

[Anonymous]

Once again, I am thankful that I have a career and don't have to hope some guy who treats me like crap won't leave.
OP, if for no other reason than to set an example for your children, do not stay and let your DH treat you disrespectfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That article from Laura Munson is so great she ended up getting divorced later. No word on how that went down.

http://blog.lauramunson.com/2014/05/30/my-happily-ever-after-what-ive-learned-from-writing-something-that-a-lot-of-people-read/

She spends this blog post talking about the aftermath and flogging her wellness or something like that center, Haven Retreats.

With that said, go on with your life as best you can. That advice seems sterling. But doing so in the hope that he'll snap out of it? Not so much.

I remember that article making the rounds years ago and I'm not surprised she ultimately divorced. It sounded like a very unhealthy dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is an inadvertent fantasy? Please explain.

I think this is the only kind I have.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't love me anymore either and not really attracted anymore either. He's probably going to divorce me and what can I do? You can't make someone love you. I've tried to be the best wife I can (and yes given plenty of bjs) but when someone's feelings change there's not a lot tthat can be done. I think there's a difference between no longer in love and still loving someone but not feeling passionate about them. No passion but still some attraction and love and you can make that work.

[Anonymous]

OP, first thing, get a job. Establish a career so you can take care of yourself and your family. If he is going to leave, he will, so the best thing you can do is be self sufficient.

[Anonymous]

I think it is silly to expect 'hot love' to last a lifetime. Expectations of what marriage should be like are the problem. Marriages that do evolve into a friendly companionship sounds just fine to me. And divorce in those cases when there are children is selfish IMO.

However, if your husband is looking for the new love kind of feeling, then there is no much you can do. Very much mid-life crisis...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't love me anymore either and not really attracted anymore either. He's probably going to divorce me and what can I do? You can't make someone love you. I've tried to be the best wife I can (and yes given plenty of bjs) but when someone's feelings change there's not a lot tthat can be done. I think there's a difference between no longer in love and still loving someone but not feeling passionate about them. No passion but still some attraction and love and you can make that work.

Do you work? What keeps you around? He has done a number on your self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That article from Laura Munson is so great she ended up getting divorced later. No word on how that went down.

http://blog.lauramunson.com/2014/05/30/my-happily-ever-after-what-ive-learned-from-writing-something-that-a-lot-of-people-read/

She spends this blog post talking about the aftermath and flogging her wellness or something like that center, Haven Retreats.

With that said, go on with your life as best you can. That advice seems sterling. But doing so in the hope that he'll snap out of it? Not so much.

I remember that article making the rounds years ago and I'm not surprised she ultimately divorced. It sounded like a very unhealthy dynamic.

She got divorced? She made the whole thing seem like a "whatever, my husband left" and then he came back and she found him cutting the grass or something. One commenter in the NYT said, "the affair didn't work out, he's back, but in three years we'll see about that". Shame.

[Anonymous]

PP, my thought when reading her article was the same (affair didn't work out, so he came home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't love me anymore either and not really attracted anymore either. He's probably going to divorce me and what can I do? You can't make someone love you. I've tried to be the best wife I can (and yes given plenty of bjs) but when someone's feelings change there's not a lot tthat can be done. I think there's a difference between no longer in love and still loving someone but not feeling passionate about them. No passion but still some attraction and love and you can make that work.

Do you work? What keeps you around? He has done a number on your self-esteem.

I work. We are sticking together for now because we have a kid and we aren't quite ready to call it quits. One last hurrah or something. But I don't have high hopes I can change things enough to restore his feelings. Yeah my self esteem is in the toilet currently. If we didn't have our child it might be easier to call it a day and move on but it's much harder when you factor that in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't love me anymore either and not really attracted anymore either. He's probably going to divorce me and what can I do? You can't make someone love you. I've tried to be the best wife I can (and yes given plenty of bjs) but when someone's feelings change there's not a lot tthat can be done. I think there's a difference between no longer in love and still loving someone but not feeling passionate about them. No passion but still some attraction and love and you can make that work.

Do you work? What keeps you around? He has done a number on your self-esteem.

I work. We are sticking together for now because we have a kid and we aren't quite ready to call it quits. One last hurrah or something. But I don't have high hopes I can change things enough to restore his feelings. Yeah my self esteem is in the toilet currently. If we didn't have our child it might be easier to call it a day and move on but it's much harder when you factor that in.

Oh and while I do work full time at a fairly decent job my income would not be enough to get a 2 bedroom apt in our current area, I don't really want to move to a different county/area right now. DH wouldn't have to pay any significant amount of support if any, our incomes are virtually equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women think the way to a mans heart is cooking. No. It's bj's. Men are simple. Start with some bj's, flirty texting, sext outfits and go from there.

This is what my husband believes, as well. Very well said! Also, stay in shape - fat/overweight women are a turn-off for many men.

[Anonymous]

No love and staying sounds like torture. Splitting is painful, too. No good option I'm afraid. I'm sorry.