ex-In-laws

[Anonymous]

I think as most of the times honesty is the best way to go. Tell her openly, that you don't want to be her friend, won't answer persona questions and do this for your child, not for her or you. Her trips are her responsibility, yours is to make sure your child will be available when she comes for them to spend time together.

[Anonymous]

I think you're amazing and doing the right things.

The only concern, it seems to me, is how stressful it is for you.

Can you just let it go? You've intellectually let go of the idea of being friends with xMIL, but I think you haven't emotionally let go of it.

Because of how decent you seem tone, I do think you might be able to say, I am glad you are in DD life. I appreciate you as a grandmother to DD. But, xMIL, by the same token you have to know that my life is disengaged from yours, except for DD. And that is just the way it is.

As for xBIL, I do not think you owe him ANYTHING. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Can you ignore xbil? Since he isn't visiting, has wrong info (re your lack of response), what's the point of engaging with him?

You're doing a great job! This will mean a lot to your dc as she grows. Let me know if you win bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're amazing and doing the right things.

The only concern, it seems to me, is how stressful it is for you.

Can you just let it go? You've intellectually let go of the idea of being friends with xMIL, but I think you haven't emotionally let go of it.

Because of how decent you seem tone, I do think you might be able to say, I am glad you are in DD life. I appreciate you as a grandmother to DD. But, xMIL, by the same token you have to know that my life is disengaged from yours, except for DD. And that is just the way it is.

As for xBIL, I do not think you owe him ANYTHING. Sheesh.

I think you've nailed it (OP again). We're more than 4 years out from the divorce, but the xIL relationship is relatively new (it took a while for the drama to die down). I've still got a good amount of fear swirling around the whole situation. Maybe this will get better as time goes on, esp as DD gets older and can take on some of it herself rather than it all going through me. Like the Skype thing. The thought of finding a time to set it up, sit there with DD on my lap, prompt her to talk, fill in with info when DD acts like a 5yo and goes on weird tangens, etc is just too much for me right now, it feels so intrusive. It'd be great if DD was older and could sit and chat without me there. One day!

In the mean time, I'll have to come up with some phrases for the bingo card!