If you got married tomorrow, how different would your bridal party be?

[Anonymous]

Mine would be completely different. I no longer talk to my cousin, my brother divorced his wife, I'm not close with the same friend, and I haven't seen my maid of honor since she didn't show for the wedding. On the other hand, the one bridesmaid who couldn't make it (because she was in the peace corps) would definitely still be in.

My husband's would probably mostly be the same, with maybe the addition of a very good guy friend that I (and to a lesser extent he) have since made.

I got married at 23, and I am now 37.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't choose now to have a wedding with attendants, either. But bridal party was stepsister, SIL, and two college friends. One is deceased, and college friends are not as close. So if I had to have a bridal party, it would be quite different today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine would be completely different. I no longer talk to my cousin, my brother divorced his wife, I'm not close with the same friend, and I haven't seen my maid of honor since she didn't show for the wedding. On the other hand, the one bridesmaid who couldn't make it (because she was in the peace corps) would definitely still be in.

My husband's would probably mostly be the same, with maybe the addition of a very good guy friend that I (and to a lesser extent he) have since made.

I got married at 23, and I am now 37.

Your maid of honor didn't show?? What was her excuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine would be completely different. I no longer talk to my cousin, my brother divorced his wife, I'm not close with the same friend, and I haven't seen my maid of honor since she didn't show for the wedding. On the other hand, the one bridesmaid who couldn't make it (because she was in the peace corps) would definitely still be in.

My husband's would probably mostly be the same, with maybe the addition of a very good guy friend that I (and to a lesser extent he) have since made.

I got married at 23, and I am now 37.

Your maid of honor didn't show?? What was her excuse?

Our best man didn't make it--but he was in the hospital for kidney stones--so we forgave him.

[Anonymous]

My wedding 20-plus years ago was perfect, absolutely perfect. Everyone still talks about how great it was. And I'm still married to the groom.

But I'd ditch the big shindig altogether and do something private and simple instead. I hate weddings! I hate attending weddings, and although ours was fun, I hate being the center of attention. I'd elope or have a simple backyard ceremony.

But to answer your question, I'm in semi-regular contact with four bridesmaids (HS friends, cousin, SIL) and have lost touch with another (college friend) except via FB. If I had to repopulate the same size wedding party, the cast would be my two mom BFFs and I guess I'd have to recruit some little kids to round things out!

[Anonymous]

I got married at 28---15 years ago. Definitely maid of honor would still be my older sister--but I really wanted my childhood BFF extradonaire/parnter-in-crime (met at 4 and still incredibly close in our 40s) to be a co-one. She is as close to me as my sister and an only child.

I would have still had my college buddy and I had a roommate at the time who was very close--but we've lost touch a bit---I probably would have replaced her with another college great buddy that I see a few times a year.

So--not many changes at all.

However, Godparents are another story entirely. I felt like I had to choose family so my brother and DH's brother are our boys Godfathers. But--my BIL and DH's cousin would have been much better picks. They see the boys on a regular basis and are much more involved in their lives (and better role models). I feel bad I didn't realize BIL at the time because I think he really wanted the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 28---15 years ago. Definitely maid of honor would still be my older sister--but I really wanted my childhood BFF extradonaire/parnter-in-crime (met at 4 and still incredibly close in our 40s) to be a co-one. She is as close to me as my sister and an only child.

I would have still had my college buddy and I had a roommate at the time who was very close--but we've lost touch a bit---I probably would have replaced her with another college great buddy that I see a few times a year.

So--not many changes at all.

However, Godparents are another story entirely. I felt like I had to choose family so my brother and DH's brother are our boys Godfathers. But--my BIL and DH's cousin would have been much better picks. They see the boys on a regular basis and are much more involved in their lives (and better role models). I feel bad I didn't realize BIL at the time because I think he really wanted the job.

You know you can change your will, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine would be completely different. I no longer talk to my cousin, my brother divorced his wife, I'm not close with the same friend, and I haven't seen my maid of honor since she didn't show for the wedding. On the other hand, the one bridesmaid who couldn't make it (because she was in the peace corps) would definitely still be in.

My husband's would probably mostly be the same, with maybe the addition of a very good guy friend that I (and to a lesser extent he) have since made.

I got married at 23, and I am now 37.

Your maid of honor didn't show?? What was her excuse?

She never really said. She lives out of the country, was planning to fly standby and stopped communicating with me about 3 days before the wedding. I spoke to her once a few weeks later, and she didn't say anything extraordinary. She was a flake. We are now facebook friends, but I don't speak her native tongue, so I don't really know what is going on with her other than that she is still living in the other country.

[Anonymous]

My bridal party was my best friend. I would have exactly the same bridal party.

[Anonymous]

No bridal party then, and I wouldn't have one now. We had a simple ceremony in a beautiful garden with a small reception following at home. We would probably just go to a judge if we did it again, no hoopla. But a kickass honeymoon again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine would be the same. We had a good sized wedding but decided not to have a bridal party. We wanted our guests to all come and enjoy themselves, not have to shell out money on special outfits, etc.
We did have a few kids walk down the aisle -- my god kids, my niece, and two little girls who I'm close with.

It was perfect./

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I'd have one. If I did, only one of the 4 girls would likely still be in it and I'd have no one else.

Looking back almost a decade, I don't think the big expensive shindig was worth it.

[Anonymous]

I didn't have a bridal party, but instead a tiny wedding where the only guests were family plus the friends who would otherwise have been our bridal party had we had a big wedding. I think the list would be the same now as then (7 years ago), with possible additions - we've both made a few new good friends since then, but there's no one I invited then that *wouldn't* still be on the list now.

[Anonymous]

Totally different groom and that's enough change for me.

[Anonymous]

Let's see....

2 sisters, 2 friends. One friend I am out of touch with, one sister died. Other friend and other sister were mean, rude and jealous. If I had seen their "potential" in the years (!!) leading up to it, I would have chosen other people who would have actually been helpful. These were people who had not much going on in their own lives, good jobs, but no travel or kids or demands out of the ordinary.

I bought them their dresses and flew them home, all they had to buy were the shoes. I asked nothing of them but the shoes, literally. No shower, nothing else (I didn't need anything). They couldn't even help me bustle my dress, they were too busy being smug, snarky and ultimately, scathing. One or two of the men were equally catty.

In spite of it all, we had a spectacular day, the weather was perfect, the church, the reception, seeing family. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I would choose the bridal party differently. I would choose it based on who has a nice life for themselves, and consequently the ability to be happy for others, for just one day.

Since you asked.