ADHD, not autism -- what now?
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Anonymous
OP, what 9:04 and I am trying to say is that the testers often don't know what they are doing and that it is too early to tell. I'm the PP who went through at least five testers (maybe more - I have a huge file) until we finally got a then-High-Functioning-Autism diagnosis on a girl. And she is truly autistic. It is very very clear now as an adult. Even my 80+ parents (who just don't have a clue about this ADHD/HFA/Aspergers world) have said "Can't you get her speech lessons"? They just don't "get it" and the complexity of the diagnosis and that there are certain things, like eye contact and speech that can't be fixed, especially if your very special special private and SN private didn't even catch the problem. Even more frustrating, our pediatrician of two decades never caught it notwithstanding all my concerns about DD's digestive problems, gut issues, anxiety issues and toilet training problems. I have watched this SN world develop from when one guy on T.V. announced @ 1990 he had discovered "ADD" and diagnosed my husband as having it after a one hour meeting with us and threw him on Ritilan to this explosive, enormous cottage-industry of everyone and anyone who has a Masters in Social work and above trying to get bucks out of us frustrated parents. I don't know what causes ADHD/autism, SPD, exec. functioning disorders or if it was always with us. Certainly my DH has always had "it" and his mother took him to every therapist she could find but there were no names for the dysfunction (if it is one) 50 years ago. I have been through hell and back with husband and with two children who have some sort of ADHD. But the one thing I can say is that the autistic label, when we finally got it, was true and it becomes much more apparent as the child develops. She may be brilliant and excel at things I cannot, but she is clearly autistic and I just wish one of the 100s of professionals along the way had "caught it". Lord knows, we've spent probably close to a half a million dollars on testers, therapists, doctors and private schools. Fortunately, you are just starting and have better testers, but my advice is to go with your gut. If you have any question about a tester, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a pediatrician or a private school, try again. I could give you a list of 60 providers who have failed to catch the autistic diagnosis because our girl was a good, hard-working kid. And she was needlessly punished and harassed by many teachers and students along the way because we didn't get a proper diagnosis until @ age 16, even thought we had been through many testers, therapists and doctors. Even our pediatrician thought she was just brilliant and didn't address her late toilet training problem (classic Aspegers) or serious gut issues (we now know our DD has had impacted fecalomas in her intestine her entire life). If you have a question or concern, don't rely on your current specialist. Try again. I wish I had. And I did everything I could possibly do at the time and was exhausted by the process. |
Anonymous
22:56. Thank you for saying that. I have never, ever told a poster to "fuck off" on this forum. But I wanted to after reading the above post -- signed by a very tired mom of an improperly-diagnosed autistic 20 year-old and an ADHD DH and DS. Maybe that poster would like to recompense me for the tens of thousands of dollars I have spent trying to get correct diagnoses for my kids and correct medications? Or walk with me to the disability services office at my DS's college and help me get him the services he needs to "just get through" the first year of college? Or the therapy to deal with TEACHERS in private schools who should known better who were just damn cruel to my DS but never thought that maybe, just maybe they were dealing with an autistic child. Maybe that poster would like to come to my home and talk to my child. Within three minutes they could tell - even as an ignorant layman, which I assume he or she is - that my child, now almost an adult, is autistic. Or perhaps that poster might want to help me as I enter my 60s deal with the fact that my almost adult (well, perhaps never "adult") children will never, ever function as independent adults in society. Perhaps they might want to come and live with me and help me support them since it is clear that they will never be able to hold the most menial functioning jobs. |
Anonymous
I think what likely rubbed that poster the wrong way was your insinuation that parents are "looking for" a diagnosis. It certainly rubbed me the wrong way. Having my 2 yr old diagnosed with ASD was one of the worst days of my life. I felt helpless, alone, angry, and extremely sad for my "baby" and worried for his future. It has been one of the most gut-wrenching experiences I have ever been through, and although I decided a couple of weeks later (after crying everyday in the bathroom at work so that I could still get a paycheck) to learn as much as I could about available treatment for him and force a smile on my face for him everyday because now that's what is most important. I've already had "friends" of mine question his diagnosis...and I hear things like "My son acted JUST like that when he was your son's age"....or "That's just a normal 2 yr old thing to do". But they don't live with him...and as I've become more educated...I see where there are definitely concerns that are not obvious to people who've never dealt with this before. In fact, I wish I were one of those blissfully ignorant people. I wish I had no idea how to spot the things that now worry me about my son. But I do. So for you to suggest this is something that I "wanted"...well, that makes me physically ill. |
Anonymous
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I know. Who wants their kid to have a diagnosable issue? Not me. I posted just before the poster who erupted...about my kid who doesn't quite meet ADHD criteria so I think I may have promoted it. But DC is Clearly having problems, serious ones. I just don't post all the details of them on this anonymous board...
The whole thing is gut wrenching. |
Anonymous
It's quite interesting that every person in your family has a diagnosis. It seems this is the type of thing PP was talking about. And why can't your adhd son "function as an independent adult in society"? Unless I am misunderstanding and you only have one son, who has both autism and adhd. If so, disregard. |
Anonymous
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Nobody here has made the case against getting proper diagnoses for children who really do have a disability. But the case must be made, that especially ADHD is being extremely over-diagnosed and over-medicated these days. Diagnosing a toddler with ADHD is just not possible folks. Seriously. All symptoms for ADHD can occur naturally in completely healthy developing toddlers. If symptoms persist over a certain age, sure maybe a diagnosis is necessary in order to get treatment. But the case was being made against parents of very young children who take their kids to get diagnosed too early and then possibly put them under meds before their 3rd birthday. Don't get defensive because you misinterpret things being said, please.
And stop making assumptions about posters as well...you don't know if they have a SN child themselves, if they speak from experiences, if they have SN children in their friends and family circle, if they work with SN kids and see how many are being brought with false diagnoses, if they are parents of a child that got diagnosed and then it turned out to be false...who knows! |
Anonymous
| Symptoms of ADHD are natural and healthy developmental phases for toddlers. People need to stop 'diagnosing' children that young. ADHD can not even be diagnosed until age 5 under pediatric guidelines. Let your child develop naturally and if the symptoms persist into school age you can start looking for help. |
Anonymous
| 20.28, nobody made assumptions! For me, I was reacting to EXACTLY what the poster said. I believe YOU are the one summarizing/assuming here. |