Clap Clap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people. Please ask me when you want to hold her."

Including her own grandparents????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people. Please ask me when you want to hold her."

Including her own grandparents????

I'm the PP, and in my house grandma would just hold out her arms for the baby, but clearly the OP wants to be asked permission. Since I think she's probably not willing to say 'I'm a control freak, please ask me', that's my attempt to phrase it more politely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people. Please ask me when you want to hold her."

Including her own grandparents????

I'm the PP, and in my house grandma would just hold out her arms for the baby, but clearly the OP wants to be asked permission. Since I think she's probably not willing to say 'I'm a control freak, please ask me', that's my attempt to phrase it more politely.

And what would you do/say if you didn't want to give up baby right then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the "clap clap" as a way for people to signal they want to hold a baby. It's entitled and rude. Help me not punch my husbands step mother for this shit.

It is possible, OP, that you are misinterpreting excitement for directive? Maybe you should not internalize? Give the benefit of the doubt? I seriously doubt she's behaving like a Maitre 'D would summon a waiter or something, which is the rather cartoonish image you're conveying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dafuq?

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people. Please ask me when you want to hold her."

Including her own grandparents????

I'm the PP, and in my house grandma would just hold out her arms for the baby, but clearly the OP wants to be asked permission. Since I think she's probably not willing to say 'I'm a control freak, please ask me', that's my attempt to phrase it more politely.

And what would you do/say if you didn't want to give up baby right then?

I'm about to feed her, give me a few minutes.

or

Let me get one last cuddle.

or

She's almost asleep and I don't want to wake her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, my MIL rubs her big, fat, dry paws together like a stereotypical movie villain right before tying someone to the train tracks. The is supposed to be my cue to hand my daughter over to her. I ignore it.

Omg I nearly snorted reading that!

+1!

Damn, girl, your hatred is seeping through!
But it WAS hilarious!

[Anonymous]

If you like someone, their mannerisms are cute.

If you don't like someone, everything about them is hideous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the "clap clap" as a way for people to signal they want to hold a baby. It's entitled and rude. Help me not punch my husbands step mother for this shit.

It is possible, OP, that you are misinterpreting excitement for directive? Maybe you should not internalize? Give the benefit of the doubt? I seriously doubt she's behaving like a Maitre 'D would summon a waiter or something, which is the rather cartoonish image you're conveying.

and you will be back in two years you will post the following complaint, "My MIL never volunteers to watch The Baby so hubby & I can have a date night. How can she care so little for her own grandchild and also not want to give us a break."

chill out, it isn't like she is snapping her fingers at you.

[Anonymous]

Do you also hate it when people say, "Chop Chop" when they want you to hurry up??!!

Um, I would punch someone if they said "Chop Chop" as a way to ask me to hurry up. I seriously hope you aren't going around saying that to adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the "clap clap" as a way for people to signal they want to hold a baby. It's entitled and rude. Help me not punch my husbands step mother for this shit.

It is possible, OP, that you are misinterpreting excitement for directive? Maybe you should not internalize? Give the benefit of the doubt? I seriously doubt she's behaving like a Maitre 'D would summon a waiter or something, which is the rather cartoonish image you're conveying.

and you will be back in two years you will post the following complaint, "My MIL never volunteers to watch The Baby so hubby & I can have a date night. How can she care so little for her own grandchild and also not want to give us a break."

chill out, it isn't like she is snapping her fingers at you.

Yes, it's EXACTLY like she is snapping her fingers. She is using a HAND SIGN, not her words, to indicate that she EXPECTS the baby.

[Anonymous]

I am not understanding this at all. Can someone elaborate? Are you saying that if your MIL wants to hold the baby, she just claps at you, and doesn't say anything? How on earth is that supposed to indicate interest in holding a baby and how on earth are you supposed to understand that? If I have that wrong someone please set me straight, because I am completely baffled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.

OP here. She does it when I'm holding the baby. And she doesn't even make eye contact with me. I finally said "I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to hold the baby?" And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.

OP-- I think we share a MIL. Mine does this EXACT same thing, but I've never had the balls to answer the way you did. Hats off, my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore it until she uses her (polite) words. Just turn away when she does it and move to a different part of the room.

This. Only, I would not even turn around or move. Just behave as if you can't see the motions or hear the sound.

My father used to whistle to signal to me and/or my mother that he wanted us to come to whatever part of the house he was in. Totally normal in his culture, very rude among civilized people. Once I got in my late teenagerhood, I decided I would no longer put up with it and I began to ignore his whistling completely. At first he'd get mad and yell "Didn't you hear?", but I took to answering "Yes, I did hear you whistling. But I am your daughter, not a dog. You can use words if you need me." It took a while, but he did drop the whistlie thing with me. And my mother followed suit when she saw that my approach yelded results, so no more whistling to call people here.

[Anonymous]

At least it's better than "Chop Chop."