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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is your step mother in law from another country? I am and we do that over there - it is not a sign for the mother of the baby though, it is meant to call the baby's attention and see if he/she wants to come with us. So, usually it goes like this:

"oh, he is soooo cute! Can I hold him?"

"Yes, sure!"

"clap clap - extends arms with open hands towards baby with a huge smile on face"

Most of the time baby will smile back and make "the motion" to go towards you, so you pick him up.[/quote]

I agree, I'm not from another country, but I've seen this pretty frequently, that someone does something (clapping, making a cooing noise, whatever) and then once the baby looks invites them to be picked up.

In an ideal world, I think the person should ask permission first if you're holding the child, and even if you're not if they aren't very close, but Dad, or Grandma, or the child's nanny would be examples of people who might pick up a baby off the floor without needing to ask you first.[/quote]

OP here.  She does it when I'm holding the baby.  And she doesn't even make eye contact with me.  I finally said "I don't know what you're doing.  Do you want to hold the baby?"  And her response wasn't "yes please" or "I'd like to" it was "I'm going to take her now."

So, that didn't end like she wanted it to.[/quote]

I think you're over reacting, and you're "I don't know what you're doing" comment was rude and passive aggressive.

I think you can say to her "Of course I love that she gets so many snuggles from you, but I'd like for her to know that she needs my permission to go to people.  Please ask me when you want to hold her."  [/quote]

Including her own grandparents????[/quote]

I'm the PP, and in my house grandma would just hold out her arms for the baby, but clearly the OP wants to be asked permission.  Since I think she's probably not willing to say 'I'm a control freak, please ask me', that's my attempt to phrase it more politely.  [/quote]

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