I am so done with life

[Anonymous]

Is there respite care available for families in this situation? OP you sound like you need and deserve a break.

[Anonymous]

Can you obtain some respite care by sending your son to a group home for a month or so. Not all group homes are for wards of the state. Try ARC of Northern Virginia to see what help might be available to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he should go to a group home?

Group homes are for kids who are wards of the state. Unless I wanted to sign him over to the state (which I will NEVER do), he wouldn't go to a group home.

Why not? My BIL is in a home. Schizophrenic. Better than being on the streets. I don't know what kind of mental illness your son has. Is there hope for improvement? Or will he get worse? What does he do during the day? You said he can be violent. Please tell me he is not in public school.

No, he's not in public school. He's in a special needs school for kids like him. He's only 11. I'm assuming your BIL is an adult. If my son is this way or worse as an adult then maybe he will live in a home, but I'm not willing to sign over my parental rights to the state to have him in some group home where only-God-knows-what is happening to him.

Hey OP, I'm sure you'll remember me, I'm the other mom of a mentally ill boy who wants to meet you for coffee.
My DS just started a special needs school for kids like them. We're only a few weeks in and it does have it's pros and cons. Our school has a great student/teacher ratio (3-1) and out class is maxed out at 12 kids and a crisis room. The downside is that he's at a school with kids just like him so on his third day he was punched in the face and head. Maybe even worse is that my first reaction wasn't as nurturing as I would have liked. It was more of a "now you know what it's like" type of reaction. Not that that's what I said to him.

So, we had new school adjustments, Spring break (never ending arguing with sibling), kicked out of Silver Diner, and he ran away (gone for nearly 2 hours). I had hit my limit and more so I bought a plane tickent, left DS with his dad (we're still married) and I took two full days off. I knew for 9 days that I was going and it's what kept me going. When I got to my destination I turned off my phone and just trusted that everyone would be alive when I returned. It's only been a week but I still feel rejuvenated.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've read some of your posts before, and I cannot fathom how you handle what you do everyday. Cannot imagine. You are an incredibly strong person and mother. I wish there was something I could do to help. I wish you were my neighbor so that I could do some little thing to make your days easier. Please know that you're in my thoughts.

[Anonymous]

My two non special needs or mentally ill sons drive me up the wall so I can't even fathom how you're feeling.

It sounds like you need a break. I wish we could all band together to do something special/nice for you somehow. I think you just need to relax while someone takes care of you for once.

Could you hire someone experienced to look after your son for a half day on a saturday or sunday while you take some time for yourself? Maybe a day af the spa or something?

[Anonymous]

My brother had to put his son in a group home. My nephew's life did not get worse. the life of my brother, his wife, and the rest of his family got a lot better. It was sad, but it seems to me that it was a net positive. My nephew was not abused in the group home. It did not help his illness, but it did not seem to hurt it either.

[Anonymous]

Op, I don't have kids... But I have worked with mentally Ill people, children and children with mental illness. I know SOME, not all, of your struggle. Let me just say... You are an AWESOME MOM. Kudos to you. Keep your chin up.

[Anonymous]

Even back in 1983 this was a problem...

Too bad we haven't yet found a solution.

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/05/16/style/relationships-caring-for-mentally-ill-children.html

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Serious question - could you give your child something like xanax when he needs to be in such situations like the doctor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also wishing you strength and peace.

+1. Can your ex take DS for the afternoon or a weekend so you can have some time for you?

[Anonymous]

Buy Sambucol at CVS for your virus. Take 3-4 times per day. Kids can do a 1/2 dose. Kills colds/flu in 2-3 days.

I'm sorry OP. I hope you can find a support group. You need support.

[youngblackdude]

Keep your head up stay strong & don't give up everything will get better

[Anonymous]

Op you are one strong and amazing mom! You are an inspiration to us all & are kicking our butts!

Huge hugs to you! Don't give up! Ever! You can do this! Do you hear me? You've got this!

You just need you time right now. You need to call your ex husband and tell him you need two days. Relax, go get a pedicure, something. Only you.

Is there any family that can come to help? Any grandparents? Uncles or aunts?

[Anonymous]

Op- what is it that you need most right now? Money, time, a break, help, or all of the above?