Dysfunctional Mother's Day cards

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the most dysfunctional family imaginable. My therapist was even shocked. With that said, too many of you are holding on to your pasts and let them control you. All of this anger and indignation is not a sign of maturity and mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the most dysfunctional family imaginable. My therapist was even shocked. With that said, too many of you are holding on to your pasts and let them control you. All of this anger and indignation is not a sign of maturity and mental health.

Puh-lease. If people were bothered by this year round, yeah, that's unhealthy. It's completely normal to be bothered by it when societal expectations are that you 'honor' your mother on Mother's Day by sending her a mushy card - at the very least. I haven't seen a single post indicating people are being controlled by their pasts. Just because you don't want to send one of those cards to your mother doesn't mean you're holding onto anger and indignation. I'm not angry at my mother any more but I do get angry when some stupid ass tells me I 'ought' to honor her.

And, that you feel you need to swing your 'most dysfunctional family imaginable even my therapist was shocked' badge around speaks to some of your continuing issues. I suggesting finding a different therapist to discuss your need to pull that badge.

[Anonymous]

OP - can you send one from your kids? That's what we do for mil.

[Anonymous]

And, that you feel you need to swing your 'most dysfunctional family imaginable even my therapist was shocked' badge around speaks to some of your continuing issues. I suggesting finding a different therapist to discuss your need to pull that badge.

Oh, please. I haven't been in therapy for years. What's the matter? Afraid someone "one-upped" on dysfunction? Childhood ends and life goes on. Some of us--despite crappy starts--do put it behind us. Give it a try. It is liberating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And, that you feel you need to swing your 'most dysfunctional family imaginable even my therapist was shocked' badge around speaks to some of your continuing issues. I suggesting finding a different therapist to discuss your need to pull that badge.

Oh, please. I haven't been in therapy for years. What's the matter? Afraid someone "one-upped" on dysfunction? Childhood ends and life goes on. Some of us--despite crappy starts--do put it behind us. Give it a try. It is liberating.

You're really obnoxious. You got there in due time; let this poster do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And, that you feel you need to swing your 'most dysfunctional family imaginable even my therapist was shocked' badge around speaks to some of your continuing issues. I suggesting finding a different therapist to discuss your need to pull that badge.

Oh, please. I haven't been in therapy for years. What's the matter? Afraid someone "one-upped" on dysfunction? Childhood ends and life goes on. Some of us--despite crappy starts--do put it behind us. Give it a try. It is liberating.

IDK, I agree with the PP. If you're so healthy now, why did you feel the need to preface your opinion with the 'most dysfunctional family imaginable' claim? I mean, it's enough to say you grew up in a dysfunctional family. Why the need to say 'even my therapist was shocked'. It seems like you think that gives your opinion more 'cred'. Putting something behind you doesn't mean you can't ever be discomforted or pissed about it. Mother's Day is once a year. Folks with shitty moms are allowed to kvetch about the lack of appropriate cards. Personally, I wish I could find one that said, 'Happy Mother's Day. After what you've done, you're lucky to have any kind of relationship with me. I love you'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you send one from your kids? That's what we do for mil.

I'm in a similar boat. This year, I am sending a card from my new puppy. Mom loves animals more than people and I even put the puppy's pawprint on the card to sign it. She'd rather have that than a bullshit card from me.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I think wanting to send a dysfunctional mother's day card in itself is dysfunctional. How about not sending one, or sending a generic one with just yr name on it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the most dysfunctional family imaginable. My therapist was even shocked. With that said, too many of you are holding on to your pasts and let them control you. All of this anger and indignation is not a sign of maturity and mental health.

I agree with this. Time to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think wanting to send a dysfunctional mother's day card in itself is dysfunctional. How about not sending one, or sending a generic one with just yr name on it?

this is what I did - Just pick something generic, "Happy Mother's (or Father's) day."

I will say, it's surprisingly hard to find these.

Both parents are now deceased, and when the day comes around it's a relief not to have to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Glad I found this post. This comes up every year for both DH and me. A few years ago I found a generic Happy Mother's Day card and bought about five. Now I'm out. I'm going to have my kids draw a card. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Happy Mother's Day Mom.

Although it's been almost 40 years since you left this earth, I think of you every day. I know we had our share of difficulties before cancer ended our time together prematurely. You weren't the easist person to have as a mom, but I know you loved me. And I miss you so much. I wish you could have met my husband and grandchildren and see the person your daughter had become. I hope your soul is at peace.

[Anonymous]

Happy Mother's Day, Mom
You taught me many valuable lessons although they are mostly in the category of 'what not to do'. The most important thing I learned not to do was to prioritize the man in my life more than my kids. Thanks to this lesson you taught me through words and actions, my kids know that their health, safety and welfare are the most important thing to me. I will not allow them to be mistreated by adults. I model behaviors that show them how to handle conflict so that it doesn't become damaging and to speak appropriately even when angry. I've never stood by watching them be beaten, mocked or humiliated. They know they are loved, valued and wanted. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how much you taught me and how different my kids' childhoods are than mine.

[Anonymous]

Happy Mother's Day Mom,

I was really stumped trying to find a card for you and then I remembered how you raised me to be resourceful. Fortunately, you and I have the same online habits so I knew just where to find you: DCUM.

You spent so much time with me at your knee while you surfed, laughed derisively and pounded out all your wisdom into a little reply window. Your use of smilies is inspired.

I think of you every time I see the forum headings for Fifty and Over and Relationship Discussion (non-explicit).

So hat's off to you, Mom. I know you'll read this here on this anonymous message board and be touched.

Love,
Larla