toddler was bitten at daycare and now he has a big purple bruise on his arm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry your legit question is bringing out the crazies OP. I tried to give some helpful tips - I think it's good to talk it over with your son. Ask him questions you know he can answer - "You were feeling upset when Joey tried to take the toy? It hurt when he bit you?" Listen to what he has to say, even if it's just one word answers. NYT had interesting article recently called "raising moral children" that found expressing disappointment is the best way to curb bad behavior, even with 2 year olds. So talk through the incident with him, express disappoint that he hit the other child. Express empathy that he was also hurt. Brainstorm how he can react differently next time there's competition for a toy - which is likely to be tomorrow, right? - so talk to him about how he can handle it better tomorrow and be a good sharer.

Would you address any differently with a two year old, than with a seven year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry your legit question is bringing out the crazies OP. I tried to give some helpful tips - I think it's good to talk it over with your son. Ask him questions you know he can answer - "You were feeling upset when Joey tried to take the toy? It hurt when he bit you?" Listen to what he has to say, even if it's just one word answers. NYT had interesting article recently called "raising moral children" that found expressing disappointment is the best way to curb bad behavior, even with 2 year olds. So talk through the incident with him, express disappoint that he hit the other child. Express empathy that he was also hurt. Brainstorm how he can react differently next time there's competition for a toy - which is likely to be tomorrow, right? - so talk to him about how he can handle it better tomorrow and be a good sharer.

OP here. Thank you for the suggestions, PP. I talked to DS a little tonight and will talk to him again in the morning before daycare drop off...just not sure if he understands me or if he's even paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry your legit question is bringing out the crazies OP. I tried to give some helpful tips - I think it's good to talk it over with your son. Ask him questions you know he can answer - "You were feeling upset when Joey tried to take the toy? It hurt when he bit you?" Listen to what he has to say, even if it's just one word answers. NYT had interesting article recently called "raising moral children" that found expressing disappointment is the best way to curb bad behavior, even with 2 year olds. So talk through the incident with him, express disappoint that he hit the other child. Express empathy that he was also hurt. Brainstorm how he can react differently next time there's competition for a toy - which is likely to be tomorrow, right? - so talk to him about how he can handle it better tomorrow and be a good sharer.

Would you address any differently with a two year old, than with a seven year old?

Article had some age specific suggestions. I definitely recommend giving it a read.

With a kid that age, if my kid hit some one, presumably he'd be suspended for the day so his suspension would be spent doing chores and otherwise making amends. I'd also document the bruise for school officials who'd likely consider expelling a 7 year old with that kind of behavioral problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You are an idiot, although I assume you are also a troll.

Anyone with a basic knowledge of child development would know that toddlers lack the vocabulary to express needs, wants and emotions. They get frustrated, they often act out in aggression. Totally normal, and nothing to be concerned about.

[Anonymous]

Well, these things happen sometimes with little kids. I'd be more concerned right now about finding out what kind of supervision and "coaching" the children are getting.

Oftentimes, adults observe when children are in heated arguments and can intervene with some social or personal coaching before kids get all "Lord of the Flies" on each other.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal- my child has been the one who came home with a bruise from a bite too. Toddlers aren't adults, they all lose their temper and lash out while they are learning to regulate their emotions. Talk to the daycare if that makes you feel better but its all part of growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You are an idiot, although I assume you are also a troll.

Anyone with a basic knowledge of child development would know that toddlers lack the vocabulary to express needs, wants and emotions. They get frustrated, they often act out in aggression. Totally normal, and nothing to be concerned about.

Here's a novel concept for our hateful poster:
Have you ever considered the possibility that there may be more than one way of effective communication?

If you are so removed from your child, that the only language you comprehend is English, you are at a tremendous disadvantage. And it's easy to understand why your child feels compelled to resort to attack on others, in order to be heard.

All children communicate at birth. Parents and caregivers may or may not be equipped to understand and correctly respond to the child's communication. At least that's my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You are an idiot, although I assume you are also a troll.

Anyone with a basic knowledge of child development would know that toddlers lack the vocabulary to express needs, wants and emotions. They get frustrated, they often act out in aggression. Totally normal, and nothing to be concerned about.

Here's a novel concept for our hateful poster:
Have you ever considered the possibility that there may be more than one way of effective communication?

If you are so removed from your child, that the only language you comprehend is English, you are at a tremendous disadvantage. And it's easy to understand why your child feels compelled to resort to attack on others, in order to be heard.

All children communicate at birth. Parents and caregivers may or may not be equipped to understand and correctly respond to the child's communication. At least that's my experience.

NP here. I don't think there is one "hateful poster" here. There are multiple posters who are all arguing against you. You are the one who is alone here, trying to convince everybody that you know something about child development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You clearly know nothing about toddlers and normal development. Bugger off.

To the OP: agree w earlier posts to just keep working on using his words

Don't ask how much parents pay me for consultations.

Liar.

I suspect she is actually telling the truth. One of those "parent coaches" who know nothing and are failing themselves but who take money from panicky new parents just to offer them a load of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You are an idiot, although I assume you are also a troll.

Anyone with a basic knowledge of child development would know that toddlers lack the vocabulary to express needs, wants and emotions. They get frustrated, they often act out in aggression. Totally normal, and nothing to be concerned about.

Here's a novel concept for our hateful poster:
Have you ever considered the possibility that there may be more than one way of effective communication?

If you are so removed from your child, that the only language you comprehend is English, you are at a tremendous disadvantage. And it's easy to understand why your child feels compelled to resort to attack on others, in order to be heard.

All children communicate at birth. Parents and caregivers may or may not be equipped to understand and correctly respond to the child's communication. At least that's my experience.

NP here. I don't think there is one "hateful poster" here. There are multiple posters who are all arguing against you. You are the one who is alone here, trying to convince everybody that you know something about child development.

Your bully behavior has no purpose here. This thread is about toddler behavior and communication.

[Anonymous]

Here the article mentioned earlier in the thread, for those interested in research, evidence, and the like: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/12/opinion/sunday/raising-a-moral-child.html?_r=0

[Anonymous]

Zombies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poor kid. That's why I don't use daycare.
It's like kenneling your kid.

I suppose you also will home school.

[Anonymous]

another vote for "it's normal" behavior. well, normal to the extent that this can happen at this age. my son bit once and was bitten twice around this age. as long as the daycare is aware and is taking care of it, i wouldn't worry. i would just reiterate to your son that biting and hitting is a NO.

and ALERT -- toddlers -- even those not in daycare! -- bite and hit.

[Anonymous]

There's a whole series of board books: "hands are not for hitting" "teeth are not for biting" "feet are not for kicking" etc. They are not great literature, but they help put words to the situation in an age appropriate way. It's important to talk to your kid about it. It's also important to talk to the teacher and ask what they are going to do to head off these incidents. Are there certain toys or situations that precipitate incidents? For our daycare, it was a spot on the playground where there was a tunnel and sometimes a kid would get stuck between two others, and panic. So there are things they can do, too.