Married & strong feelings for a best friend's wife?

[Anonymous]

Is the other man deployed?

If so, it could be that his best friend was asked to look after the wife while he was away. I think that would justify a little more attention to the other woman than normal. This might be a bit too much, though.

[Anonymous]

He's not washing her car. He's saying he's washing her car so that there's an excuse for him to go over to her place, where they have sex. Ditto on the airport rides - they're hooking up before she leaves and after she gets back. Sorry, OP. That really sucks.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation. My divorced friend and DH flirted a lot and I felt like a third wheel. I just decided I didn't want her in my life because she was causing tension and problems between me and my DH, even if they weren't having an affair. I made sure to always answer the phone and started turning down "sorry we're busy" invitations to get together. I told her she should email or call me because I am in charge of our social schedule. After repeated rejections about getting together she started to get the message. There was one occasion that pushed me to tell her upfront that I was ending our friendship. I decided that my marriage was more important than her friendship.

It sounds like you should end the "couple" friendship" and if your DH wants to get together with his friend alone, that's fine, but he doesn't need to be friends with this woman. If need be, can you drive her to the airport? Who needs someone to take their car to be washed?

[Anonymous]

Actually, yes but I am the woman. I'm single, but while I was dating a now ex boyfriend, his best friend and I started a thing. It's not so far fetched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar situation. My divorced friend and DH flirted a lot and I felt like a third wheel. I just decided I didn't want her in my life because she was causing tension and problems between me and my DH, even if they weren't having an affair. I made sure to always answer the phone and started turning down "sorry we're busy" invitations to get together. I told her she should email or call me because I am in charge of our social schedule. After repeated rejections about getting together she started to get the message. There was one occasion that pushed me to tell her upfront that I was ending our friendship. I decided that my marriage was more important than her friendship.

It sounds like you should end the "couple" friendship" and if your DH wants to get together with his friend alone, that's fine, but he doesn't need to be friends with this woman. If need be, can you drive her to the airport? Who needs someone to take their car to be washed?

A male friend that I've known for 25 years told me his wife of 5 years is in charge of their social life and she always turns down our invites. Is THAT what it's all about? Oh, that is f*cked up. I lived with platonically as college students. If I wasn't screwing him at 20-22, why would I start trying to now? This makes me dislike her.