having kids was the wrong choice?

[Anonymous]

If you can't afford to hire help, look into swapping babysitting with another SAHM. You NEED a break from the daily grind, that is obvious. Please please bring in people to support you. Little kids are overwhelming in their needs sometimes, it's okay to reach out for help because you are struggling. They won't always be this age, they will grow up and change. Hang in there OP.

And like others have said, perhaps working outside the home might be a better choice for you than being home full time...

[Anonymous]

I put my 3 yr old in Montessori when I was SAHM. I paid for full day but I was actually using it for a few hours only. I would wake my DS in a leisurely manner and after breakfast drop him at school. And then I would pick him up before school ended. I really did not care if he learned anything at all. I was doing it for my mental health and sanity. I SAHMed for a long time and I never felt guilty about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i've had days where i said "I'm done". I actually told my husband today that I wanted to leave the house and get away from everyone. I didn't mean a word of it. It's just very very hard to parent young children.

I've left for the day - just walked out (on a weekend) b/c I wasn't getting any me time.

no shame in that . . .

I went shopping, stopped for lunch, met a friend for coffee, etc. It was great.

[Anonymous]

Very normal reaction and you are not alone in feeling this way.

This will change when they become a bit older. After 5 years of age it changes. Before that is a lot tougher.

Afterwards there are other challenges - but not to the extent that folks feel when kids are younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can relate somewhat. I have a 20 month old DS and this weekend was rough. I came to work this morning and my colleague said, "you don't look well." I just wanted to break down and cry, and I realize it's because I've been holding in a tremendous amount of stress.

I work FT out of the home and do my fair share of cooking/cleaning. DH is an equal partner, but DS is just a hand full. I am just not enjoying DS, and I too wonder if I made a mistake -- obviously an irrepairable one because I would never abandon my family (although I fantasize about it a lot).

People told me this was their favorite age to parent, but it sucked for me. DC was a handful too and I was now single. I find every year to be better than the previous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:anyone else experience a very dark period after having children ( and im not talking post-partum depression) but more like, living with 2 toddler-Pre K age children? I cannot do this anymore. My kids ruin everything and im thinking motherhood was the wrong choice for me. I love my kids, but i'm pretty over it. they are both home full time with me and have been since the youngest was 6 months. I'm hoping this feeling subsides after they start full time school programs in the fall, but frankly my parenting has taken a turn for the worse now that my interest and patience is gone. help?

Yes and we have totally opposite circumstances (I WOH, am single mom). Twin, just turned 5 year old girls. They are -- on the whole - really great kids. I wouldn't want to miss out on them but if I got to do it over again -- I wouldn't have kids. I'd be more career focused and maybe married.

[Anonymous]

I ended up with a great kid who is the joy of my life but I never planned on having a child. It was scary and hard. Try to take it a day at a time OP. And, try swapping time with another mom. You don't want to hate your kids...they will pick up on it.

I agree that many of us women aren't cut out for motherhood. Society makes such a big deal of it...it's an impossible standard to live up to.