Ever wonder how others afford their lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

It's called a trust fund or a life insurance settlement or an inheritance. There are many many people who gave wealth left to them in various ways and use that money to pay for the luxuries and extras in life like vacations and private school. Lots of grandparents pay for private school. Also, lots of grandparents reduce their estates by gifting family members with large sums of money every year. I had friends in high school whose grandparents gave them thousands every Christmas and birthday and their parents let them spend about $100 of it. The rest went into sticks or CDs or whatever. Even seemingly middle class folks often do this.

[Anonymous]

All the time here. A lot of my friends have their kids in so many activities and I can't fathom how they do it financially. I don't dwell on it because it's really none of my business but the thought definitely pops into my head from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every.single.day.

My DH has worked his way up to a great salary. But we are so conservative wrt retirement, college funds, emergency funds, other savings, that often we don't "feel" the money. I have SAH friends who are open about what GS level their DH is (so you get a pretty good idea what they make) and yet their spending seems so far above ours even though DH is private sector and makes more than any GS 15 (but maybe not SES, not sure what they make.)

I don't get it. Guess I never will.

Yes. I am a woman that WAH as a GS-15. I am the second salary. DH makes 4 times my salary , but he's not a lawyer or Dr. so people are clueless about how much he brings in. We also save, invest, etc. We do take a couple nice vacations-but not extravagant or post or boast about them.

I also know families where the DH is my GS-level or lower (or makes equivalent) and it's nothing but the best.

We kind of like that neighbors and friends don't know our true finances. We are set up very well for our future--carefully planned . By 50-DH will barely have to work.

[Anonymous]

I hear this "they live beyond their means" statement all the time but in 20 years of living here I have not seen very many that do -- compared to the very many who have money from another source -- family, trust, inheritance, made it flipping homes, good investments, ect ect. There are also many families where the relatives pay the tuition for private also. "Millionaires next door" are everywhere around the DC area.

[Anonymous]

We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

[Anonymous]

I have a BIL who has been married multiple times, and despite alimony and child support, always manages to take several trips a year to Florida, Hawaii, California. He has two houses, several boats, three luxury cars (all Mercedes), and eats out at exclusive restaurants 2-3x/week. He owns the family business. I know for a fact there's no family money on either side, and I also have access to the company's financials so I know the money isn't coming from there (at least legitimately).

I suspect embezzlement or organized crime involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

This post is not about you.

[Anonymous]

I assume family money in the situations like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

LOL. That's not what she's asking about. She's asking about people who are CONSPICUOUS in their consumption and how they can afford that on jobs that likely don't pay much. In other words, people unlike yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My contractor, plumber and handyman all have beach houses or lake houses (I don't). I think self employed folks or business owners who deal in cash often do better than the white collar professionals.

Professionals (including us) focus on career as our sole source of income.

Contractors are small business owners. Their focus is in making money. They start earlier in life than professionals and they invest in businesses - like rental properties. A few I know of are adept at taking every possible advantage of the business rules; their daily-driver SUV is written off as a "work truck" and meals at restaurants are a "business expense". Plus they under report on taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

Is there a secret handshake I'll learn when my net worth gets above $1MM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My contractor, plumber and handyman all have beach houses or lake houses (I don't). I think self employed folks or business owners who deal in cash often do better than the white collar professionals.

There is absolutely truth in this. DH works for himself. Working for oneself, in and of itself, is one of the hardest things to do if you are relying on that as your sole income. You can NOT spend money freely and/or at your whim. That is not reality.

We are baffled by other couples who order the highest cost items on the menu and (to top it off) the expensive wine (more than one or two, usually), buy expensive clothes, and have expensive habits in general. We have no mortgages, no car notes, are very frugal about every day things.

I tend to be the better investor, though we both have a talent for it. Believe me, it is NOT luck, you have to know what you are doing. People like to believe it is luck, it makes them feel better, I suppose. People ask me for investment advice all the time, but it is not so easily explained. Part of it is being independent for the amount of time in my life thus far, my parents paid for nothing (ever), and I was certainly never coddled. I think so many parts of this are foreign concepts to most.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea. However, I know many people get help from their family, plus, quite frankly, there are a lot of high earners in this town.

My DH had a buddy that was in the exact same job as him and purchased a nice luxury car. My DH asked him how he does it because no way could he have afforded the car after 401K and savings. His friend laughed and said he does not do 401K or save. So for that situation, there you have it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

LOL. That's not what she's asking about. She's asking about people who are CONSPICUOUS in their consumption and how they can afford that on jobs that likely don't pay much. In other words, people unlike yourselves.

I would not trust that the humble brags have a nest egg and lack of bills, that is for certain!

Op, worry more about yourself. Seriously. There is no secret to spending your way into a hole. There are many secrets to not doing so.

Most of the self proclaimed "Millionaires Next Door" are not, so be careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

LOL. That's not what she's asking about. She's asking about people who are CONSPICUOUS in their consumption and how they can afford that on jobs that likely don't pay much. In other words, people unlike yourselves.

I would not trust that the humble brags have a nest egg and lack of bills, that is for certain!

Op, worry more about yourself. Seriously. There is no secret to spending your way into a hole. There are many secrets to not doing so.

Most of the self proclaimed "Millionaires Next Door" are not, so be careful.

OP doesn't seem worried so much as curious. I would be, too. I have in laws that I marvel at the spending of, but I'm not worried. Just intrigued at the different values.

OP, in my hometown my family was peripherally friends with this other family that would have made roughly the same amount as us, but their kids had every enrichment possible because it was important to the parents that the kids be fluent in a second language, proficient at an instrument, active in school activities, etc. The parents did it by mortgaging the house and going into credit card debt up to their eyeballs. Their youngest is now 36 and they're still paying it down. So if it isn't family money or family paying for things, that's another thought.