MIL boyfriend visiting in delivery room, post- partum

[Anonymous]

It was thoughtless and inconsiderate of your MIL. Since you weren't able, why didn't your DH say/do something?

I can understand why you're upset, but it's done. Moving forward, just use this as a chance to re-think how you and your DH set boundaries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this your first? This is the least obtrusive thing. My 3 year old busted into the toilet while I was taking a poop.

Obviously you can't read well.

And what a stupid comparison. Your child watching you on the toilet is a daily occurrence. OP is talking about an adult male who is not a family member.

[Anonymous]

I didn't want ANYONE in the room except DH. Would never have wanted a MIL boyfriend, or MIL, or FIL, heck I didn't want my own parents there for the birthing lol. I had two close girlfriends who came and they waited outside, and encouraged me and cheered us on when I was in labor and walking with DH down the hall, and brought me pizza after the birth hours after I was cleaned up and so on. So I would've told MIL no way. Sorry OP...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a baby a few weeks ago. MIL watched DC when we went to the hospital. Once baby was born (about 2 hours after we left her with DC), she asked DH if she could bring DC to hospital to meet the new baby. When they showed up (about 3 hours after giving birth), she had brought her boyfriend, in addition to DC. It was awkward bc I was still in the delivery room, half naked in the gown, still bleeding, etc. They all took a ton of pictures. I felt really awkward about the whole thing. The labor was generally smooth but I was still processin everything that had happened.
While MIL has only been dating him for about 6 months, it is a serious relationship and he helps MIL babysit DC often, which I have no issue with. I'm just not sure i appreciated having a man who is essentially a stranger to me (I've only let him 2-3 times) seeing me 3 hours post partum!!
MIL usually has good judgment about appropriateness and boundaries but here I think she crossed the line. I don't plan to say anything (what's the point now?) but wanted to get feedback on whether my feelings were valid.

SIL later came with her BF in the same time frame. Again, I was like, is this really necessary? She doesn't have kids so may not understand that most women do not want near-strangers seeing them 2-3 hours after giving birth!!

I think you're completely justified.

My family has bad sense, so we didn't tell them about the delivery, until after the baby was out and I was back in my room. I called my parents and told them that the baby was here, that I was taking a nap, and they could see the baby at regular visiting hours after we got some sleep.

[Anonymous]

Wait. OP was still in the delivery room after 3 hours?

[Anonymous]

OP, the negative Nellies are too harsh! You have a right to feel intruded upon and how dare they tell you that you should've thought about it before (apparently their births were text book and had no surprises). Anyone who has had a baby knows that stuff happens that you hoped wouldn't.

I digress, what's done is done. You may want to tell DH that you were uncomfortable with all the immediate visitors and put him in charge of future boundaries such as BF'ing. (My MIL had an uncanny ability to show up just as I began nursing UGH!). and as for photos- maybe you should have final veto on what is past around the bridge club or country club

[Anonymous]

You should have spoken up then if you were uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. I did not want my MIL in the delivery room, let alone a boyfriend.

+1