3 years ago after a lot of handwringing because we really felt lost about making the right choice for DC once we realized that logistically, public school was out of the question (before and after care were just not going to work because of MoCo's late start for kindergarten timewise and our work schedules), we sought a consultant's advice about independent schools locally. (DC was not at NCRC or St. John's -- she was at a beloved, small local nursery school and also had done a little bit of Montessori, neither of which were connected to independent schools necessarily and couldn't provide counsel about best next steps.)
The consultant told us that of all the independents, Maret would be virtually impossible for admission despite DC's strong profile (and I know, I know -- all kids have strong profiles -- they really do -- DC's is strong in terms of academics and athletics as well as social skills/personality) because of small number of spots, which often end up mainly for sibs. We did not apply based on that counsel. We ended up at Beauvoir and have loved it (see below).
I can tell you that if you have the resources, working with a consultant can really help you figure out what might be a reasonable opportunity, etc.,. The consultant did not call or write letters -- that is not their place-- but she did help us figure out the right opportunities and options.
As a coda/PS: Beauvoir is hands down the best decision DH and I have ever made for DC, who has thrived there. Without the consultant's guidance and help, we would probably not have identified it as a potentially wonderful fit for DC because we were simply not aware of the ways that her (DC's skill set) would and would not mesh and match with various schools locally. My point is that no matter how hard a school may or may not be to get into, trying to figure out the right choice may be the hardest part of all, and if you can afford the guidance, at least in our case it was worth it.
Good luck. It is an important decision. It's also a very difficult process in terms of applying and so I can understand that you want to know all you can about the area and the process, 'odds', etc.: don't be put off by some of the snark that can seep into DCUM on this subject.....
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