How do you know if a kid is a sociopath or just bratty?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and was watching my charge in her ballet class a couple of weeks ago, and the mom sitting next to me was talking on the phone. She made no effort to be discrete, and I couldnt help but overhear her conversation. She was talking about how her daughter (a 5 yr old) peed in her carseat on purpose, scratched her (the mom's) face, and also spit in her face. She then said to whoever on the phone that she made a reward chart, but her DD said, "being bad is way more fun."

Her DD had a facial expression of pure evil when she waltzed out of the room in the middle of class just to antagonize her mother. I swear this child is a future killer. I need to stop watching Dexter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The definition of a sociopath, in the DSM (both iv and v) includes the individual in question being over 18.

True, which is why kids like the Columbine shooters slip through the cracks (FWIW, one was identified as a probable sociopath and one was just a garden-variety loser. So not even all mass murderers get the label).

You don't know why the OP is asking. She may be concerned for personal reasons. We have a neighbor kid who is definitely showing signs. As just one example, the only time I've ever seen him smile is when he's hurting someone, either physically or with words. Not surprisingly, as he gets older, he's becoming more isolated. I'm pretty careful in our interactions with him--I don't want him hanging around my kids (the feeling is mutual, fortunately), and I also don't want us to be a target if/when he finally blows. If I'm wrong and he grows up to be an outstanding citizen, I'll be happy to say I was wrong. In the meantime, I wish his parents would stop rolling their eyes at his behavior and realize the kid needs help, sooner than later.

Curious, have you every reached out to him? Had a conversation with him? Tried to see what he is interested in? Not to diminish your concern, but sometimes people have a hard time relating and a little compassion can work wonders. It seems that might be a more productive than making your dislike obvious or, as you put it, waiting for him to blow.

btw, I have worked with offenders in three states. a lot of creepy behavior, borderline personalities and substance abuse issues, but only one verifiable sociopath -- and she was incredibly charming. Callous behavior/pleasurec ausing pain are only a couple of the traits found in sociopaths. Particularly, when you're talking about kids, I'd be careful about the words you throw around. I once indiscreetly said a kid my son was playing basketball against looked like an ax-murderer. They kid ended up becoming one of my son's friends and is a real sweetheart. My son takes great pleasure in reminding me how wrong I was.

PP here. I've dealt with this child for 13 years, in fact--I used to babysit him when he was younger. I have some disturbing stories from that era, but I'm not relating them because they'd potentially identify him. I quit after his parents, despite lip service, could not ensure that I would feel safe while in the house with him.

I tried many, many times to include him, and I've always defended him to the other neighbors (mostly to get them to shut up, as he's obviously a source of gossip). He nearly always refused to engage. When he did engage, my own kids would be in tears soon afterwards. I lose no sleep over not putting enough effort into this kid, though I've felt guilty that my kids were sometimes hurt because I was trying to be inclusive.

Then I don't understand the point of your post -- you said it was to decide whether or not to let him be around your kids. Clearly from what you just posted, you shouldn't, whether you label him as a sociopath or not. You didn't feel safe in the house with him -- and you wonder if you should have him in your life????

You're confusing me with the OP. I'm just someone who replied to her.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don't think it matters whether a kid qualifies for the label "sociopath." If a child is cruel and enjoys hurting others, I don't want my kid around that child. Especially if the child's parents are unwilling or unable to address it.

[Anonymous]

I have wondered about this question with a friend's son. He shows very limited facial expressions or emotions. He can only carry on a conversation if it is about something he is interested in. There is no conversational back and forth with him. And he is completely disrespectful of his mother. It goes beyond bratty to the point where it seems he has no regard for her whatsoever.