How rude is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is not oak, OP. That is maple, possibly maple finished over another wood.

The thing is likely made in the 40s.

That thing is an ugly junk of crap that
Should be promptly donated to some
Charity or the curb.

I would want that in my house.

Why is
Everything you post
A haiku?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid-twenties poster here--OP you sound a little bit ridiculous.

Like someone else mentioned, you slept on a foam mattress for months, clearly aesthetics weren't a major priority for you (economics were, which sounds reasonable given your financial situation). And now all of a sudden you won't be happy living in a room that doesn't look right?

Furthermore, as you acknowledged, you could have just asked for a cell phone picture of the bed.

But you didn't, and your aunt drove hours to drop it off, which is a major sacrifice on her end in its' own right. If she "just wanted to get rid of it", she wouldn't have made the effort.

In my mind, the moment your aunt made a long trek to deliver the bed, was the moment you have to suck it up for 6-months.

Consider it a lesson learned.

I don't know about that - I've had hoarder-type (or borderline hoarder) people in my life who would go to extraordinary lengths to give away things they couldn't bring themselves to throw away. It wasn't that they valued the things qua things - it was, I think, they couldn't bring themselves to throw anything away.

I would agree that after your aunt drove all that way, it'd be shitty to say you don't like the looks of the bed. You probably should have asked for pics before having her make that trip. But, those are sunk costs, as it were.

At this point, I think you really do have an easy out here. A semi-easy out. You can say that the box springs couldn't make it up the stairs, which means you can't really use the bed - and would your aunt prefer you bring the bed back to her, donate it, or put it in storage. All these options could end up costing you more than buying a damn bed in the first place - but, again, those are sunk costs, so no point getting to upset about them. (I remember being 22 and broke. Sometimes it's stupidly expensive being broke.)

Agree with the others: don't buy a bed off craigslist. There are pretty cheap ones you can get at Ikea that might suit your needs better, next time you want to go through this. Or just stay on the foam another six months till you can get out of dodge/DC.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's only bratty behavior if you whine about to your cousin.

Store the headboard. If it does not fit it does not fit. Use the mattress.

Do not complain to your cousin. When cousin asks, say with great sincerity: "It's my fault -- I should have asked your mom for the measurements of the bed. My bad. She was so thoughtful to lend it to me and I don't want it to get all beaten up in my room because I'm trying to move around it all the time, so I'm going to store it for its own good, but I'm really grateful to have that mattress." Put it on the floor and sleep on it there.

Six months, OP, six months. This is a six-month gig and you're lucky to have relatives who are helping you out. Curb the craving for that lovely, personal, ideal space you would like and plan how you'll do up your own space when you get it. I know it's important to you to have things look a certain way but....that isn't going to happen now.

Just don't talk to your cousin about how "I really need my space to be like this or that" or you will frankly not come across well at all. You seem to be aware that you don't want to do that, so...don't. Store the frame and headboard with great apology and say how useful and great the mattress is.

If cousin gets huffy about it, well, lesson learned: You and cousin should get through the six months and then not live together in the future. Smile, don't engage, do what you need to but also express gratitude. And kudos to you for taking the responsibility for being wrong about not asking about the bed or asking for a photo first. Lesson learned, now move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem awfully picky for someone who's been sleeping on a piece of foam!!!

I don't make much money at my full-time job and am also in school full-time, so I have to be really careful about how I spend my money. I've found all my furniture off craigslist over the past couple years and fixed it up/painted it all myself. In that time, I haven't been able to find a clean mattress/frame that was in my budget (which is basically free - 50 bucks) so I stuck with the foam. Part of the reason I jumped at the offer for a free bed.

I realize I'm being picky, but I spend a good 40 hours a week in my room doing schoolwork. It needs to be a space I enjoy being in.

There are 168 hours in a 7-day week. You spend 40 hours a week working and 40 hours a week in school. Let's assume conservatively you spend 6 hours a night sleeping, that's 42 hours. Now we're at 122 hours a week that you're either not in your room or in it but not noticing it since you're asleep. So that's 46 hours that are left, and we haven't even looked at how many hours you spend getting to work or school, showering, socializing, and I assume you don't eat in your bedroom. So I highly doubt you spend 40 hours a week in your room doing schoolwork.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I would do what you are doing and put the headboard in storage. I would take care of ALL of the details myself (buying/building the platform, etc). I would sit down with your cousin and explain how sorry you are that you didn't realize how big it would be and that you should have asked for a photo first. Say you do not want to hurt aunt's feelings and so ask that nothing be said. I am guessing that your aunt will probably not see the room in the near future? Apologize profusely to your cousin for your lack of foresight.

[Anonymous]

as for the smell of the mattress, get some febreeze, and air it out. then get a good waterproof, dustmite proof mattress cover. that might help a lot.

[Anonymous]

6 months is not that long to make due. Just use the headboard as best you can for 6 months. The time will fly, especially since you're working and a full time student. When I was in your situation, I spent very little time at home anyway - I was at work, in class, or in the library. I came home to shower, sleep, and make some dinner. I'm sure you can stand it for half a year.

Regarding the smoke issue, when the temps come back up to freezing, the open the window one day when you're going to be out for 8-12 hours, spray the mattress with some febreeze. When you come back, the thing should have aired out a bit. I'm sure with some airing out and clean fresh set of sheets, it would be tolerable.

For future reference, Walmart ships a bed in a box to your door for under $200. The mattress is awesome - memory foam on top. The base is just a simple metal frame that you can slide under-bed storage under and best part for you - it's totally not visible with the mattress on top so you can get whatever headboard you want to match later. We got this as a guest bed and it's actually more comfortable than my Sealy Posturepedic $700 mattress.

[Anonymous]

16:41 again - btw, I slept on an airbed for the two years of grad school as a poor, working, full-time student. I would have found a way to make due with the headboard in exchange for a free, real mattress.

[Anonymous]

Get a cover for the mattress and put the foam thing on top of it.

[Anonymous]

I do not think she should spend eight hours a night sleeping on a mattress that is smoky and gives her migraines.

What were you planning on doing after six months? Was the plan that you would give it back to them? Store it or go ahead and drive it back to them. Apologize for wasting their time. Go back to sleeping on foam. Or buy a new twin mattress and put it on the floor.

[Anonymous]

You are being a mega brat. Your only out is the smoke. Many people cannot tolerate cigarette smoke and it can cause headaches and allergies. Keep in mind though, that if your cousin knows you to be someone who spent time at frat parties and the like in college,a round smoke, well, you are gonna have to do some 'splainin. Good luck. Somehow I don't think you are going to take any advice from older, wiser people telling you that you are being a silly 21 year old.

[Anonymous]

Aesthetics are no big deal if you're only going to be there for six more months. You just suck it up and realize you've learned a lesson and start planning for your next living situation. However, a smoky mattress is another story. You would be justified in telling your aunt you can't sleep on it. I agree with the poster who said keep the bed frame and get a new mattress.

Sorry, OP, while I'm sympathetic, I also think you can deal with this bed board for six months. It's not exactly like you've been sentenced to Guantanamo. Good luck! Please let us know what you decide.

[Anonymous]

Are beggars choosers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You live in a rented room, who gives a shit about furniture matching. Why don't you focus on getting a home, then you can furnish it.

I'm 21... how is "focus on getting a home" useful advice? And I actually explained exactly why I care about furniture matching, so why don't you just go suck an egg.

NP here. "Go suck an egg"? What are you, 9-years-old? Why are you on a parenting website, anyway?

Your aunt was extremely nice to drive 8 hours to loan you the bed. It's great to have such kind relatives.

[Anonymous]

Sleep on an old mattress with smoke damage. You are kidding, right?