Trying hard not to be "that crazy mom"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my fondest memories of my grandmother is her sneaking us mini chocolates. I only knew her a short time as she died when I was young. But I still gave that memory. Let your mother build her own memories with your kids especially if she seems them so infrequently.

+1 on the memories and appreciating the time with the grandparents. My grandparents used to bring us all kinds of cookies and candy, let us get whatever we wanted at restaurants, etc. It was so fun and none of us are worse for the wear because of it.

Me too. I still have loving memories of my Grammy's "sugar pies" that she'd make for us. As long as they aren't your daily care provider, doing this on the off occasion isn't doing any harm.

[Anonymous]

My kids are high school age and still laugh about watching "Judge Judy" and snacking on Fritos after school with my mom -- 10 years ago when DH and I took a week away. And I know they ate a lot of hot dogs and chips for dinner. It seems to have worked out fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are visiting and are being super helpful, letting DH and I go on date nights, cooking for us, etc. I'm trying to hold my tongue with my mom because she doesn't take care of DSs like I would. She feeds them more junk than I do, and, as she said, she's 72 and needs to turn on the tv when she takes care of the kids sometimes. I feel myself getting annoyed by this stuff, but they only come a couple times a year and I don't want to make a big deal. But I am annoyed. And I need to vent somewhere so dcum is it, even though I know you guys will probably crucify me.

What's the problem with TV and occasional junk food?

TV is awesome. It makes for a great babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite problem - judgmental comments by my mom about my kid watching tv and what he eats. I think family visits are just generally kind of tough.

Our grand mother tended to be awfully mean to the children. Sweets are better -- let it go.

[Anonymous]

My parents died before the kids were born. My in laws visited a couple times a year, and we visited them, and they never once volunteered to let us go out to dinner by ourselves. Count your blessings!

[Anonymous]

We have the joy of my MIL only trying to give the kids things I directly don't want them to have. When I tell her no gum because its messes up the kids braces, that's all she wants to give them. Shows that I know scare the bejeesus out of my five year old? She'll buy them DVDs of that show and put them on in the car. Gotta love the spoiling masquerading as passive aggression! I wish she could spoil them on her own terms, not on terms that are designed to cause drama between me and my kids!

[Anonymous]

Try to remember that things that seem annoying now might be the sweetest of memories when loved ones are gone. Especially if they aren't local relatives and have to visit to see each other. My own grandparents lived in my neighborhood (the other set about a 20 minute drive) and were old school, there was no "parenting research" with that crowd! My grandmother provided a lot of childcare as she was at home and I remember her "stories" being on from noon to 4 everyday in the background yet we were busy playing and normal kids. I get nostalgic every time I see a soap opera on tv when flipping by (which I guess are rare now!)- it became a sweet memory. AND I still have her alive! I just don't live near her any more.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are into healthy eating and not into TV. Our 2 year old DS loves "helping" grandma with her backyard chickens and ducks. Unfortunately, this involves minor mishaps like falling into the ducks' kiddie wading pool and dumping a bucket full of chicken feathers and poop on himself. I just had to laugh. At least you don't have to worry about that happening with TV watching!

I am really glad the poultry chasing isn't a part of our everyday routine, but he has a great relationship with his grandparents and will have great memories of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go.. it's a treat for the kids... I honestly think having this kind of time helps the kids to better follow the rules when the grandparents are not around.

+1. It gives kids the chance to learn that different people treat them differently. This is important as they grow older and figure out what rules to follow and which ones to question. It also shows them that love can be shown in different ways. The important thing is that your parents love your kids, and it sounds like they do.