Ridiculous Gift Policy at DD School

[Anonymous]

This makes perfect sense to me. It seems like--from what I read on this board--gifts can get out of hand when there are so many affluent parents, and it could easily become a keep up with the Jonses thing. Along with that, it makes students who are attending on financial aid feel bad because their parents can't afford elaborate gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is wrong with a $25 limit? Anything more looks like you are trying to bribe them.

Are there seriously people out there who think the teachers who educated your kids all year deserve a $25 or less gift?

It's about the thought, the appreciation, and not about the cold, hard cash. The last thing we need is insincere parents competing in a gift war escalation.

So put some thought into it, so the sentiment is really there, intead of buying the same old chocolates or mugs. For instance, for $25 you can get several types of tea from Teaism, they will put nice bows on the package, and the teacher can enjoy it over several months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is wrong with a $25 limit? Anything more looks like you are trying to bribe them.

Are there seriously people out there who think the teachers who educated your kids all year deserve a $25 or less gift?

I don't think you understand what a gift is...

[Anonymous]

My DDs private school (high school) had a no gift policy, period. Instead they encouraged people to donate gift cards or other items for the staff appreciation lunch and the gifts were distributed equally and anonymously. It was intended to eliminate the gifting differences between the very wealthy kids and the FA and less wealthy kids at the school. I really liked this approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP must be a SAHM raising a future Mean Girl. Sigh.

+1

[Anonymous]

As a former teacher-in private schools it's ( the cap) more about getting families to put the $$$$ back in the school not the teacher's pockets--trust me.

[Anonymous]

If it bothers you so much, ignore it and get something more expensive. It's not rocket science. No one is going to price check your gift. And even if you got her, say, a scarf that retails for $100, you could still say you got it on sale at TJ Max. Really, not a real problem.

[Anonymous]

I dropped off gifts in the teacher lounge yesterday. There was a box on the table that said. Food donations for manna. The teachers were putting all of the cookies and candy in the box to donate. I am glad it wasn't being tossed out, but I will never give cookies again. The teachers don't appreciate it. At least at my dd's school.

Wow, that's a bit harsh. And a little rude. You have not idea how much food we get - the whole week leading up to the holidays.?we appreciate very much but at a certain point it becomes overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a former teacher-in private schools it's ( the cap) more about getting families to put the $$$$ back in the school not the teacher's pockets--trust me.

I am a current private school teacher -- started teaching in the early 1990s. I am sorry you think it is about schools siphoning off money into donations, but that is not the issue. If you have read about issues in private schools over the past 20 years (everything from the New York Times to professional journals) you'll see how many schools have had to deal with this and how much of the problem was the perception from families that they were in a "presents arms race" and that they had to give or their child would not be well treated. I say perception -- not reality -- I don't think teachers really give preferential treatment over gifts. But families really felt pressured by the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dropped off gifts in the teacher lounge yesterday. There was a box on the table that said. Food donations for manna. The teachers were putting all of the cookies and candy in the box to donate. I am glad it wasn't being tossed out, but I will never give cookies again. The teachers don't appreciate it. At least at my dd's school.

They don't want to gain weight either over the holidays -- just like "other people." Go figure.

And better still, maybe you should stay out of the teacher's lounge.

[Anonymous]

I asked about gift policy at our private for this year and was told the room mothers weren't doing anything because most of the teachers are Jewish. We will do a big gift at the end of the year.

[Anonymous]

We gave both of the preschool teachers a $50 Amazon card. I hope that is OK. I know that the school doesn't pay well and we really appreciate what they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked about gift policy at our private for this year and was told the room mothers weren't doing anything because most of the teachers are Jewish. We will do a big gift at the end of the year.

If my DC's teachers were Jews I would buy Chunnakah gift card.

[Anonymous]

You could always get a gift card and say it was $25 but really put $50 on it. Granted, the teacher might not know it was from you if they got 3 gift cards to target. But that doesn't matter, right? If you want to get her an actual pricy present ( not a gift card) then maybe wait until the end of the year so it's not a bribe.

[Anonymous]

When I was teaching, gifts over about $20 made me really uncomfortable (unless they were from the whole class, of course.). I don't want a $100 scarf or a $50 gift card from a student. It's too much. I loved handwritten notes and pictures. Gift cards to Starbucks. Hand made ornaments. Just small "thinking of you" type of gifts.

The PPs suggestion of teas is a great one! I would have loved that!