Family vent

[Anonymous]

I think it would have been much weirder to approach your boyfriend or your sisters boyfriend and say "hey, if you want to marry our dd, we have a diamond for you." They couldn't really offer it after an engagement... And it wouldn't be fair to pick between the 2 girls. Their choice seems to be the best one, honestly - think of it as them welcoming a third daughter and wanting to make her feel like family.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say that since they likely paid for your wedding, it would be sort of even. But that's not true.

OP, I do get how you feel. If you don't have a MYOB family, could you just directly tell your parents you feel a little hurt by this and wait for their reaction? You may come off a bit selfish but you may also learn their line of thought and get some new peace with the situation. And I think it doesn't come down to the $ for you, but rather than feeling that maybe thy love your brother more than you. I'm guessing that's not quite it, so talking might help.

Oh, and FYI if you want support and not flames, DCUM is a pretty risky bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

People here are ridiculous when it comes to stuff like this. Like you are never ever supposed to get upset with anything your parents do with their money/posessions because its theirs. There was somebody on the other thread whose parents gave almost 2 mil to a university and 10k to their children, and they were like totally ok with it. I find that crazy.

I would be upset, too, unless my parents equalized treatment somewhere else. Yes, they are entitled to do as they please, but you are totally justified to be angry about it. I would never forgive stuff like that and would look to punish my parents for it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am the third of eight grandchildren (the first male grandchild). My grandmother gave her engagement ring to my mother (her middle child) to give to me when I got married. That's pretty common, for the reasons that other PPs have said - since a man traditionally gives his fiancee a ring, family diamonds are passed down to male children/grandchildren.

Two other thoughts: There's a distasteful element of bean-counting to your post, with the reference to a 2 carat diamond. What does the size matter, if you supposedly want it for sentimental reasons? And it IS remaining in the family. You need to wrap your head around the fact that your brother's wife is going to be family, or this will be the least of the familial tensions you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

People here are ridiculous when it comes to stuff like this. Like you are never ever supposed to get upset with anything your parents do with their money/posessions because its theirs. There was somebody on the other thread whose parents gave almost 2 mil to a university and 10k to their children, and they were like totally ok with it. I find that crazy.

I would be upset, too, unless my parents equalized treatment somewhere else. Yes, they are entitled to do as they please, but you are totally justified to be angry about it. I would never forgive stuff like that and would look to punish my parents for it.

You sound like an awesome person, PP. A real gem (ha!) of a human being.

<Yes, it's Sarcasm Wednesday!>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

People here are ridiculous when it comes to stuff like this. Like you are never ever supposed to get upset with anything your parents do with their money/posessions because its theirs. There was somebody on the other thread whose parents gave almost 2 mil to a university and 10k to their children, and they were like totally ok with it. I find that crazy.

I would be upset, too, unless my parents equalized treatment somewhere else. Yes, they are entitled to do as they please, but you are totally justified to be angry about it. I would never forgive stuff like that and would look to punish my parents for it.

You sound like an awesome person, PP. A real gem (ha!) of a human being.

<Yes, it's Sarcasm Wednesday!>

actions have consequences is all i am saying. my parents were very equitable so i was never in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

People here are ridiculous when it comes to stuff like this. Like you are never ever supposed to get upset with anything your parents do with their money/posessions because its theirs. There was somebody on the other thread whose parents gave almost 2 mil to a university and 10k to their children, and they were like totally ok with it. I find that crazy.

I would be upset, too, unless my parents equalized treatment somewhere else. Yes, they are entitled to do as they please, but you are totally justified to be angry about it. I would never forgive stuff like that and would look to punish my parents for it.

Dude, you are the crazy one. If someone is ok with their parent's giving money to an organization, then who are you to be pissy about it.
GROW UP! Your parents's money is THEIR MONEY -- they earned it, earn your own. If my folks had millions, yea...it would be nice to have some, it's theirs to do with as they will. Something tells me you could not be related to Warren Buffet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

People here are ridiculous when it comes to stuff like this. Like you are never ever supposed to get upset with anything your parents do with their money/posessions because its theirs. There was somebody on the other thread whose parents gave almost 2 mil to a university and 10k to their children, and they were like totally ok with it. I find that crazy.

I would be upset, too, unless my parents equalized treatment somewhere else. Yes, they are entitled to do as they please, but you are totally justified to be angry about it. I would never forgive stuff like that and would look to punish my parents for it.

Dude, you are the crazy one. If someone is ok with their parent's giving money to an organization, then who are you to be pissy about it.
GROW UP! Your parents's money is THEIR MONEY -- they earned it, earn your own. If my folks had millions, yea...it would be nice to have some, it's theirs to do with as they will. Something tells me you could not be related to Warren Buffet.

I am not pissy about it, I just think her parents are spoiled idiots and so is she for playing along. And I know I perfectly well that their money is their money, just like my time is my time and my emotions are my emotions... Therefore, I am entitled not to speak to my parents, or to ignore their pleads for help, not to let them spend any time with my children etc etc. It goes both ways, though in my case, luckily, the relationship was rather harmonious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my SIL coveted for many years a diamond ring that belonged to her grandma. She finally received it...and it was a cubic zirconia.

Are you sure it wasn't paste? CZ has only been around since the mid 70's.

BIL said it was CZ, I have never seen it for myself, so couldn't comment.

OP, I just sent my post along to make you laugh. I know you are hurt. But just remember one piece of jewelry is not the end all and be all. I've been passed over for things, too. It sucks, but I cope by finding something to laugh about.

[Anonymous]

All the Warren Buffett posts on DCUM crack me up. You Buffet fans do realize his children sit on boards of organizations he's set up and get money from those. The kids were not left completely without money from Dad's success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

So just don't. It's really that easy. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

I don't know what to tell you, OP - these posts are trying to give you a wake-up call, so you can stop feeling this way. If it isn't working, I dunno, go take a walk or meditate or volunteer or needlepoint or whatever it is you normally do when you need to get over something. But no one on DCUM knows you well enough to tell you how to literally stop feeling one way. Specifically, what kind of help are you looking for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the Warren Buffett posts on DCUM crack me up. You Buffet fans do realize his children sit on boards of organizations he's set up and get money from those. The kids were not left completely without money from Dad's success.

+1
The kids (who are in their sixties) are millionaires.

[Anonymous]

OP, try to pinpoint the source of your feelings. Is it that the jewelry is symbolic of something deeper, i.e. you feel like your parents love your brother more than you, are you deep-down jealous of him, are you really sentimental and now feel that you have lost this piece of your family? The third is the easiest fix, IMO. Speak up and ask for something meaningful that you will want one day and realize that the diamond is still in your family just not with you. The other two will take more work to "fix" but you may get better advice if you can speak to why you are upset. FWIW, I would be upset too but more so for the first reason and b/c I don't think my brother is a good son to my parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds to me like your parents may be overly invested in your brother's relationship. Trust me, you don't want this for yourself. If the relationship between your brother and this girl ends, (before marriage or after) would you want your mom saying "but Sally was such a nice girl". Would you want to have to explain or hide the details such as "Sally may have been nice but we never had sex." or "Sally may have been nice but she was moody much of the time." I suspect not. You're within your rights to feel upset. Still, I'd look at what this ring may mean for your brother down the line. It may not be as pretty as it looks now.