Anonymous wrote:OP, you are feeling abandoned by your ILs because of your abusive childhood. That's okay, but try to separate the two issues. You made a good choice to not rely on your family and you also need to respect the choice your ILs made for themselves. You feel abandoned because you are alone and really wanting family right now; that is grief and it is absolutely fine and reasonable to feel grief.
I agree with PPs that you need to hire help and keep the priority on you and your children. This situation is going to bring up a lot of stuff from your past (it sounds like it has already) and a therapist can be a great resource to navigate these waters of parenting young children after surviving an abusive childhood. The fact that you talk about how you are the one who is isolated by your family members tells me that YOU are the one who has made positive changes in your life and chosen a different way. Don't let their blowback pressure you into joining them in dysfunction.
Take care of yourself, this is amazingly hard stuff. You are not alone, though, you would be surprised how many people are struggling with the legacy of abusive childhoods. Really, this is totally normal stuff coming from your experiences, just give yourself compassion and room for your feelings. Then make a plan for the nuts and bolts based on what's best for you and your children.
+1000. OP, I was in your same boat. Sorry.
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