Cluster feeding/human pacifier-don't know how long I can do this

[Anonymous]

Go back to a more comfortable position. The baby will feed in that position.

[Anonymous]

Op you still haven't answered if you have tried a pacifier or not. It's really really helpful for a baby who just wants to suck for comfort. My babies (who nursed well past the age of 1) both used mam brand

[Anonymous]

OP, first, please know that you are an AWESOME mom to this little person! Take pride and comfort in what you're doing: sustaining life. Exhaustion, resentment are normal, so forgive yourself those feelings. Acknowledge and let them pass. The previous advice has all been really good. Take naps during the day with your baby. Let him suck while side-lying. Ignore laundry, dishes, etc. Try lots of skin to skin to help calm baby. The breastfeeding center has a free support group at 11:30 on Tuesdays and it is so helpful to meet other moms going through the same thing. We've been there. Also, try your finger if you don't have or yet want to use a paci. It sucks now, but this will pass. You're doing great.

[Anonymous]

My second child was like this. Like pps have said, side lying makes a huge difference. I prop myself up with a firm king pillow and am still feeding all through the night at 6 months.

[Anonymous]

OP here...yes we have a paci but my sons latch isn't stellar so I try to severely limit it's use

I know an issue is not knowing if he's really hungry. I have no idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Ive had an lc come to the house, had a consult at e bf center and have another one. They have helped and the lc had me lying back, but baby now won't nurse in that position.

I had a long labor and an emergency c section so I know that makes it more difficult, but he literally just sucks/cries all night now. And I know he is eating a good bit because sometimes he will break the latch and milk will dribble out. We also top off many feelings with a syringe per the lc until he gains weight.

LUCKILY supply isn't an issue - I can get 50mil from a 15-20min pump. And when I said bottle feeding I meant pumped milk. I will not use formula unless medically necessary - I can pump plenty.

Those who went through this, how long did it last? My husband goes back to work tomorrow and I have no idea how ill survive. Never mind me going back sooner than I want. Sigh.

OP, I want you to do some things. First, take a HUGE breath, and I don't mean that in a snarky DCUM way but in a real, like actually take that huge breath way. Because this is normal-normal-normal. And how you are feeling, including that simmering resentment, is normal-normal-normal. You may have baby blues, or even a touch of PPD, which by the way, is truly exacerbated by the sleep deprivation, so pay attention to that. I think I might know you and if you email me I'll tell you this story in person but my first was the same exact way; although we did not have any problems with latch or feed, he just CRUSHED me with the all night feeding sessions. And, like you, part of me resented him (the baby) and yet, I wouldn't pump and allow my husband to feed. Why? Hell if I know - I somehow just thought it was this biological imperative that I do it, that not doing it would mess up our bonding, that somehow that one bottle would completely screw up his latch (this may be more of a real concern for you because you've had some latch issues in the past, but....honestly, probably not if you use a SUPER low flow nipple, etc, and your DH can also just cup feed him).

The next thing I want you to do is to give yourself permission to be pissed off for a moment or two at this demanding little creature. Yes, it sucks sometimes! He's a delight and yet, it's hard as hell, and sometimes, when you're slogging through, you get these glimmers of love and that is what you will remember two years out. And your son, he will remember your closeness and your scent and the comfort you gave him.

The next thing to do is to ask your DH, even though he returns to work, to work out a plan with you for sleep. You take shifts. Do NOT try to double team everything, and don't try to power through on your own. Who is the better sleeper? Usually I think it works well for a DH to go to sleep early, say 8-2. My baby cluster fed from that time anyway. It suuuucked. You doze during this time, sleeping as much as you can, but do not plan for this to be your "chunk of sleep." Maybe you both get to sleep from 2-4 (eventually baby will give you at least this one solid stretch). And then, at 4AM, you nurse one time, then hand off to your husband and you sleep. If that baby wakes up at 5, he does not need to be nursed again, but if your DH wants to give him a bit of breastmilk from a bottle or cup, it's okay. Consider letting him.

It will get better, and it will get bad again. It's not necessarily six weeks of straight hell. But, it's hard. I remember my DH looking at me when my son was about 5 weeks old and saying "do you even like being a mom?" It was a real low point for me. I was so hurt, you know why? Because the answer was I do not know. I loved my son but I did not love that hard time. Now, my son is the light of my life, he is the best thing (besides DH) who ever happened to me. And I'm doing this again!

Another thing to do: call someone. If nobody has offered to help you, call someone who lives nearby and simply say "can you come and spell me for a half an hour so I can shower?" And LET THEM. Bonus if they've nursed before and can help you or at least commiserate.

The last thing to do: FORGIVE YOURSELF. It's okay to fucking hate this for a little while. It's okay to think you're going to go nuts. It's even okay to go a little bit berserk. YOU CAN DO THIS, you really can. Reality is just setting in, and unless you ace out with one of those mystical "easy" babies I hear about from time to time, it's always a HUGE slap in teh face, where you're like "nobody can survive this - no way this happens to everyone else." Actually, I guess it doesn't - some babies are in fact easy. Yours is not, so you need to figure out a way to survive it and if that means your DH gives a bottle, DO IT HONEY.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is the worst part and it lasts for such a short time. I urge you to persevere! Keep trying to nurse in other positions. Your baby is just trying to help you establish your supply. It's also okay to make DH hold the baby if you need a break. I would urge you not to formula feed though (breastmilk from a bottle is ok if you can pump), because it will jeopardize your milk supply and make you much less likely to be able to breastfeed. It's rough at first but the reward is great. You're doing great, keep it up and I promise it will be so much better in just a few days!!!

This is actually untrue - there was a study recently that showed that supplementation with formula in the first few weeks actually lead to more breast feeding success. We nursed and then offered formula for a week or two because of weight gain, and it was fine.

Link, please. This goes against what my OB, pediatrician, and LC say.

Here you go: http://healthland.time.com/2013/05/13/can-giving-newborns-formula-increase-breast-feeding-rates/. This study focuses on the first week of life, but I think the underlying principle makes a lot of sense and may extend to the first several weeks.

Here is another older study suggesting that supplementation in the first week INDICATES feeding problems, but does not cause them: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3883306

I know that there are probably a lot of other studies correlating formula in the hospital with shorter breastfeeding duration. However, I think it's a different story when you have a mother committed to breastfeeding and getting enough support -- in that case, I really don't think 2-3 oz supplement when mom is exhausted during cluster feeding is really going to cause any harm.

As I wrote above, we supplemented with formula in the first week or two with no lasting problems whatsoever. A temporary reprieve for the mother, or ensuring healthy weight gain for the baby, are perfectly appropriate motivations to supplement with a bit of formula. A rigid adherence to nursing at all costs is what might lead to mother burnout ... so in the long run, makes much more sense to give a few oz of formula.

I also supplemented for the first 1.5 weeks with #1, and then breastfed for over a year. I've also breastfed #2 and #3 without supplementing. To supplement properly:
1) offer the breast first each time, then supplement
2) if in the first 2-4 weeks of your first child, pump if baby goes more than 3 hours without eating to lay down the production in your breasts.

[Anonymous]

I am not clear why you are crouching and uncomfortable. Something is not right there. Are the folks at the breastfeeding center helping you to get into a better position? I brought one of those awful husband chair type pillows and slept sitting up against it.

[Anonymous]

Also, yeah, for the crouching, consider the my brest friend pillow instead of the boppy. Boppy was awful for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, to answer you question, it got better for me right at 4 weeks, but that was when I knew my DD's latch was good and let her use a pacifier. That bein said, the WORST if it, for me, was over by week 3. She still sleeps like crap, though, and feeds every two hours, and I'm constantly exhausted at work (she's 13 weeks now). But it's sooooo much better than it was those first couple weeks. I know you're nervous about your husband going back to work. I was so scared when mine did. Do you have any friends who don't work who can come visit youvduringthe daytime this first week or two?

[Anonymous]

Op is he like this all the time or is there a " a witching hour" a certain time of day like someone turns on a switch and he begins to cluster feed? For my son it was 3 pm, from 3 to 11 he was a little monster, constantly sucking and screaming, sucking and screaming. It all gets better. I know I will get flamed for this, but I co slept with my first son, and I am co sleeping again. At 12 weeks he is able to find the breast at night and he barely wakes me.

[Anonymous]

My son is almost 4 months old. I went through HECK the first few weeks. I was miserable. I finally 'gave in' and supplemented (there is a formula that comes in two oz bottles to supplement breastfed babies). I gave him one (in addition to the breast) and he slept for a few hours (which meant I could, too). For the next week week I pumped and realized I was producing between 2-4 oz and baby was drinking between 4-6. It took about a week of pumping, but my supply got to where it needed to be and I stopped supplementing. By being able to supplement I was able to continue with breastfeeding. It is my goal to go to one year. I am at 4 months now and he is fed 100% breastmilk (sometime through nursing, sometimes in a bottle). I am so glad I didn't give up and I am glad that I had the option to supplement.

[Anonymous]

OP, learn to breastfeed laying down. It saved my life. And remember the baby is there to tell your body to make milk. If you give bottle or paci your body won't make it =[

[Anonymous]

Oh and the constant nursing is because the baby needs the comfort. It's not your job to figure out if its hunger or not (just yet). For now your job is to latch the baby every time they cry. It's 24/7 for now but it will change soon. I promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and the constant nursing is because the baby needs the comfort. It's not your job to figure out if its hunger or not (just yet). For now your job is to latch the baby every time they cry. It's 24/7 for now but it will change soon. I promise.

No. You do not need to drive yourself into an exhausted frenzy. Giving your infant a few ounces of expressed milk or formula, or a paci, judiciously in a way that let's the mom get a few hours of sleep is fine. Other people have detailed on this thread the way to do that and continue successfully breast feeding for a long time.