Did you like/not like going to college really far away?

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the opposite coasters, very close to my parents (who were married 58 years); I have a happy, stable family life.

I've only visited the Family and Relationships forum once, for about 90 seconds. What a viper pit. For tenderness, support and validation on DCUM, I head to the explicit section.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but wonder if those advocating distance are the same people we hear bitching on the Family Relationship threads about how shitty their parents are and how much they hate o be around them. Cause or effect of leaving at 18.

I posted that I went halfway across the country for college. I live literally a mile from my parents now. Going away to college does not mean living there permanently. I chose a top school for both college and grad school. They did not happen to be in the WDC area. I went to one of the "Big 3" schools here and probably 90% of my class went a good distance for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but wonder if those advocating distance are the same people we hear bitching on the Family Relationship threads about how shitty their parents are and how much they hate o be around them. Cause or effect of leaving at 18.

I posted that I went halfway across the country for college. I live literally a mile from my parents now. Going away to college does not mean living there permanently. I chose a top school for both college and grad school. They did not happen to be in the WDC area. I went to one of the "Big 3" schools here and probably 90% of my class went a good distance for college.

Not unusual - most "Big 3" alum return to the bubble - the rest of the country is too foreign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but wonder if those advocating distance are the same people we hear bitching on the Family Relationship threads about how shitty their parents are and how much they hate o be around them. Cause or effect of leaving at 18.

I posted that I went halfway across the country for college. I live literally a mile from my parents now. Going away to college does not mean living there permanently. I chose a top school for both college and grad school. They did not happen to be in the WDC area. I went to one of the "Big 3" schools here and probably 90% of my class went a good distance for college.

Not unusual - most "Big 3" alum return to the bubble - the rest of the country is too foreign.

A good number of my classmates stayed in Boston, the other bubble. I'm not ashamed, I like the bubble here.

[Anonymous]

OP: I have discovered something in this area called the "Georgetown Syndrome". Mommy, daddy, grandpa, aunts and uncles went there, so jr must go there too.
If you look at the developmental phase of an undergraduate, it is the biggest time of emotional development in a persons life. It is a time where a person figure out who they are and how they fit into the world. The difference between a college freshman and a senior is massive.
To have them spend this phase in their life in the same environment they grew up in is stifling. There is a big world outside Georgetown and these kids are being denied the opportunity to see it, through different lenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have discovered something in this area called the "Georgetown Syndrome". Mommy, daddy, grandpa, aunts and uncles went there, so jr must go there too.
If you look at the developmental phase of an undergraduate, it is the biggest time of emotional development in a persons life. It is a time where a person figure out who they are and how they fit into the world. The difference between a college freshman and a senior is massive.
To have them spend this phase in their life in the same environment they grew up in is stifling. There is a big world outside Georgetown and these kids are being denied the opportunity to see it, through different lenses.

So, you don't think there are many other schools in many other parts of the country that have a strong family tradition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have discovered something in this area called the "Georgetown Syndrome". Mommy, daddy, grandpa, aunts and uncles went there, so jr must go there too.
If you look at the developmental phase of an undergraduate, it is the biggest time of emotional development in a persons life. It is a time where a person figure out who they are and how they fit into the world. The difference between a college freshman and a senior is massive.
To have them spend this phase in their life in the same environment they grew up in is stifling. There is a big world outside Georgetown and these kids are being denied the opportunity to see it, through different lenses.

So, you don't think there are many other schools in many other parts of the country that have a strong family tradition?

Agree - Boston College comes to mind, and really any of the Catholic colleges, although at least at Notre Dame the majority of people probably aren't from South Bend. I had someone tell me the other day he was from a Fordham family. Lots of big state schools (Michigan, Ohio State, etc.) have family traditions with people who are from the area. Seems like it isn't at all uncommon.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's uncommon either whether it be private or public. For one thing, legacies have an easier time getting into better schools than they could otherwise generally get into if they didn't happen to be legacies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's uncommon either whether it be private or public. For one thing, legacies have an easier time getting into better schools than they could otherwise generally get into if they didn't happen to be legacies.

I agree that it is not uncommon. I also agree that it is not a good idea to go to a school you can ride your bike to and pretend you are "going away" because you have a dorm room. Especially when your immediate and extended family is still strongly affiliated with the college you are attending. Legacy is great....but it can be used to the detriment of the young college student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's uncommon either whether it be private or public. For one thing, legacies have an easier time getting into better schools than they could otherwise generally get into if they didn't happen to be legacies.

I agree that it is not uncommon. I also agree that it is not a good idea to go to a school you can ride your bike to and pretend you are "going away" because you have a dorm room. Especially when your immediate and extended family is still strongly affiliated with the college you are attending. Legacy is great....but it can be used to the detriment of the young college student.

I don't think students who go to school near home are "pretending" that they're going far from home -- I'm sure they're keenly aware that the school is near home, regardless of whether they see that as a positive, negative or neutral factor in their choice of school. So, what' s your empirical evidence -- anecdotal or statistical -- that students who go to school near home and/or are legacies are at a disadvantage in any way? FWIW, I went to school 3,000 miles from home, so I don't have an ax to grind here -- I'm just curious about the basis for the conclusion you state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's uncommon either whether it be private or public. For one thing, legacies have an easier time getting into better schools than they could otherwise generally get into if they didn't happen to be legacies.

I agree that it is not uncommon. I also agree that it is not a good idea to go to a school you can ride your bike to and pretend you are "going away" because you have a dorm room. Especially when your immediate and extended family is still strongly affiliated with the college you are attending. Legacy is great....but it can be used to the detriment of the young college student.

I don't think students who go to school near home are "pretending" that they're going far from home -- I'm sure they're keenly aware that the school is near home, regardless of whether they see that as a positive, negative or neutral factor in their choice of school. So, what' s your empirical evidence -- anecdotal or statistical -- that students who go to school near home and/or are legacies are at a disadvantage in any way? FWIW, I went to school 3,000 miles from home, so I don't have an ax to grind here -- I'm just curious about the basis for the conclusion you state.

Good question. When an undergraduate is in an environment where they are connected, and things don't go their way (ie: getting into a class they want, failing a class), they can pull in their "connection" to get them out of a bind. VERY, not good.
How can an undergraduate figure out who they are when they live in the shadow of a "legacy". I quoted the phrase "Georgetown Syndrome" because I believe it is a shame to raise a child seeing life through only a Jesuit lense.....never seeing another way of thinking. You can't move out of the box you were brought up in unless you are exposed to different academic settings. There are no choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's uncommon either whether it be private or public. For one thing, legacies have an easier time getting into better schools than they could otherwise generally get into if they didn't happen to be legacies.

I agree that it is not uncommon. I also agree that it is not a good idea to go to a school you can ride your bike to and pretend you are "going away" because you have a dorm room. Especially when your immediate and extended family is still strongly affiliated with the college you are attending. Legacy is great....but it can be used to the detriment of the young college student.

I don't think students who go to school near home are "pretending" that they're going far from home -- I'm sure they're keenly aware that the school is near home, regardless of whether they see that as a positive, negative or neutral factor in their choice of school. So, what' s your empirical evidence -- anecdotal or statistical -- that students who go to school near home and/or are legacies are at a disadvantage in any way? FWIW, I went to school 3,000 miles from home, so I don't have an ax to grind here -- I'm just curious about the basis for the conclusion you state.

Good question. When an undergraduate is in an environment where they are connected, and things don't go their way (ie: getting into a class they want, failing a class), they can pull in their "connection" to get them out of a bind. VERY, not good.
How can an undergraduate figure out who they are when they live in the shadow of a "legacy". I quoted the phrase "Georgetown Syndrome" because I believe it is a shame to raise a child seeing life through only a Jesuit lense.....never seeing another way of thinking. You can't move out of the box you were brought up in unless you are exposed to different academic settings. There are no choices.

My DC is very interested in Georgetown because it's a good school. We are not Catholic, DC does not attend Catholic school. A grandparent attended, but also not Catholic. So you would advise DC not to attend if accepted? Better to go to a mid tier school in the Midwest than a top tier school in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's uncommon either whether it be private or public. For one thing, legacies have an easier time getting into better schools than they could otherwise generally get into if they didn't happen to be legacies.

I agree that it is not uncommon. I also agree that it is not a good idea to go to a school you can ride your bike to and pretend you are "going away" because you have a dorm room. Especially when your immediate and extended family is still strongly affiliated with the college you are attending. Legacy is great....but it can be used to the detriment of the young college student.

I don't think students who go to school near home are "pretending" that they're going far from home -- I'm sure they're keenly aware that the school is near home, regardless of whether they see that as a positive, negative or neutral factor in their choice of school. So, what' s your empirical evidence -- anecdotal or statistical -- that students who go to school near home and/or are legacies are at a disadvantage in any way? FWIW, I went to school 3,000 miles from home, so I don't have an ax to grind here -- I'm just curious about the basis for the conclusion you state.

Good question. When an undergraduate is in an environment where they are connected, and things don't go their way (ie: getting into a class they want, failing a class), they can pull in their "connection" to get them out of a bind. VERY, not good.
How can an undergraduate figure out who they are when they live in the shadow of a "legacy". I quoted the phrase "Georgetown Syndrome" because I believe it is a shame to raise a child seeing life through only a Jesuit lense.....never seeing another way of thinking. You can't move out of the box you were brought up in unless you are exposed to different academic settings. There are no choices.

OK, so you're not talking about all students who attend any college close to home and/or are legacies at any school. What you're concerned about is the much more narrow category of legacies at Georgetown, who are sufficiently well-connected that they can pull strings to avert failing a class. Do you know of any situations where that has occurred? Also, do you know what percentage of Georgetown faculty are Jesuits? I actually know several faculty members who are Jewish, and, believe me, these folks would never allow anyone to dictate their political or intellectual views. Finally, how do you define the Jesuit "lense" (sic)? In general, Jesuits are known for questioning everything, so it's hard to see how a Jesuit education would offer only one perspective.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely loved it; made the college experience feel much more "real" because mom and dad weren't an hour car ride away to do laundry or bring groceries or drop by for lunch. Would be happy for my kids if the chose a place a car ride or a plane ride away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Went to school halfway across the country and it was the best decision I ever made. Loved it, never got homesick, went home only for Christmas and summers (and then only 2 of them). It was an important part of growing up and becoming independent. Loved the freedom of realizing I could make my own decisions without parents breathing down my back. Being in a different part of the country, with students from all over, also was a great learning experience.

My mom tried hard to convince me to stay close by and I resented her interference. With my own children I will encourage them to go where they want (that they get into and we can afford).

+1