"Stop acting so white and start acting more black."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the person making the comment was being self-deprecating about her race. I would just let it go.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the person making the comment was being self-deprecating about her race. I would just let it go.

+1

Now that I know OP is white, I basically agree with this. Sounds like she thought she was giving you some good advice and was just couching it in generalizations about people's buying behavior based on race.

Now if she is normally hostile to you, that's another thing entirely and you're right to be offended. Also whether she meant to be hostile or not, it's not a good idea to talk in these terms in the workplace. So if you're pissed off, that's your right. But in reflecting on the context you've provided, I wonder if you may be overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the person making the comment was being self-deprecating about her race. I would just let it go.

+1

Now that I know OP is white, I basically agree with this. Sounds like she thought she was giving you some good advice and was just couching it in generalizations about people's buying behavior based on race.

Now if she is normally hostile to you, that's another thing entirely and you're right to be offended. Also whether she meant to be hostile or not, it's not a good idea to talk in these terms in the workplace. So if you're pissed off, that's your right. But in reflecting on the context you've provided, I wonder if you may be overthinking this.

So if the op told the other person "you need to stop acting so black and start acting more white" that would have been okay too? Why is it okay if one person says it, but not another?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the person making the comment was being self-deprecating about her race. I would just let it go.

+1

Now that I know OP is white, I basically agree with this. Sounds like she thought she was giving you some good advice and was just couching it in generalizations about people's buying behavior based on race.

Now if she is normally hostile to you, that's another thing entirely and you're right to be offended. Also whether she meant to be hostile or not, it's not a good idea to talk in these terms in the workplace. So if you're pissed off, that's your right. But in reflecting on the context you've provided, I wonder if you may be overthinking this.

So if the op told the other person "you need to stop acting so black and start acting more white" that would have been okay too? Why is it okay if one person says it, but not another?

The same reason why you can call your husband an idiot but your neighbor can't. Stop being so stupid.

And take note asians, blacks, and latinos...white people are not your friends who can be trusted. Stop getting so comfortable, and save the jokes for those who aren't looking for a reason to question you in a hostile way or criticize you. Do your job, go home, and socialize during your free time.

Why did I say Asians? We already know this. Blacks and Latinos take note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here....sorry I did not clarify. I am white and the other employee is black. And the friend I was talking to is Hispanic. We are a very racially diverse company, which makes it all th more angering to me.

Hmm, I think her comment translates that you should stop being naive (white) and be more untrusting (black) and then you will avoid credit card fraud.

My 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you need to chill out. Her comment was more offensive to herself. She meant that in some areas, Black folks are less likely to have bank accounts and credit cards, so they have to go to a store and pay cash. It is just a fact abd she wasn't PC about how she related that to you. Big deal. Understand her point and where she is coming from and move on.

Agree, some folks like to shop with big wads of cash, and it's not whitey.

[Anonymous]

All of these comments are clouding the issue. She brought up race in a conversation about finances. It made you uncomfortable. Now you are uncomfortable around her. End of story.

Make a meeting with your HR rep and discuss what happened. Ask what your options are.

[Anonymous]

Or alternately, let it go

[Anonymous]

OP, she got a little too comfortable without "knowing you like that". Let me guess, she is an older...matronly..black woman who's worked in that office for 30+ years? The kind that you would refer to as your "office Mom" whom everyone reveres/fears because she will call you out without blinking.

I've worked with a few of those. I find that they generally mean no harm. They came into the work force when there were no rules about anything. Probably no HR office either. They operate like the it's the good ol' days. I'll chuck it up to ignorance and move on...unless she's not like the person I described

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the person making the comment was being self-deprecating about her race. I would just let it go.

+1

Now that I know OP is white, I basically agree with this. Sounds like she thought she was giving you some good advice and was just couching it in generalizations about people's buying behavior based on race.

Now if she is normally hostile to you, that's another thing entirely and you're right to be offended. Also whether she meant to be hostile or not, it's not a good idea to talk in these terms in the workplace. So if you're pissed off, that's your right. But in reflecting on the context you've provided, I wonder if you may be overthinking this.

With the new information (OP being white), I agree with all of this. OP sounds like the type who claims to be "color-blind" but then completely freezes up when others talk so openly and freely about race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the person making the comment was being self-deprecating about her race. I would just let it go.

+1

Now that I know OP is white, I basically agree with this. Sounds like she thought she was giving you some good advice and was just couching it in generalizations about people's buying behavior based on race.

Now if she is normally hostile to you, that's another thing entirely and you're right to be offended. Also whether she meant to be hostile or not, it's not a good idea to talk in these terms in the workplace. So if you're pissed off, that's your right. But in reflecting on the context you've provided, I wonder if you may be overthinking this.

So if the op told the other person "you need to stop acting so black and start acting more white" that would have been okay too? Why is it okay if one person says it, but not another?

The same reason why you can call your husband an idiot but your neighbor can't. Stop being so stupid.

And take note asians, blacks, and latinos...white people are not your friends who can be trusted. Stop getting so comfortable, and save the jokes for those who aren't looking for a reason to question you in a hostile way or criticize you. Do your job, go home, and socialize during your free time.

Why did I say Asians? We already know this. Blacks and Latinos take note.

Agreed. So damn uptight. On the one hand, claiming to embrace all races, on the other hand, wanting to curb ALL talks about race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With the new information (OP being white), I agree with all of this. OP sounds like the type who claims to be "color-blind" but then completely freezes up when others talk so openly and freely about race.

Kind of like how she couldn't bring herself to type the race of the participants in this story when it was plainly relevant?

[Anonymous]

Op here: I'm not uptight about race at all. I'll talk about it all damn day. But when someone is implying that I'm naive solely based on the fact that I'm white, it makes me uncomfortable. And yes, I do embrace all races. Just because I am white doesn't make me a racist. My entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, even old boyfriends) are all different races. I have black cousins, an Indian uncle and cousin, Mexican nephews and nieces, etc.

And it's not that I "couldn't bring myself to name the races involved". That's BS. I thought It would have been clear.

But I've just ignored it lately. 11:21 hit the nail on the head with their description. I'm fairly new to the company, so I guess it just surprised me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you need to chill out. Her comment was more offensive to herself. She meant that in some areas, Black folks are less likely to have bank accounts and credit cards, so they have to go to a store and pay cash. It is just a fact abd she wasn't PC about how she related that to you. Big deal. Understand her point and where she is coming from and move on.

Agree, some folks like to shop with big wads of cash, and it's not whitey.

Hahaha! That's funny.

Cheese Lady sez to OP: Let it go. AA employees from a certain generation took a lot of shit in general related to their race, so give them a little slack, as long as its not work related. Race is something that is not too far from their minds at any given moment. White people don't understand this. It's hard. You can have sympathy, but you will never really know what it's like to be black. It's probably easier to imagine what's its like to be paralyzed, than to put yourself in someone's shoes who have faced constant, subtle and not-so-subtle discrimination their whole life.

I know I can't pretend to know fully. I also know racism is alive and well, and the most common type is one that the perpetrator is not even aware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And then you run to dcum because.....?

Loser.

And you read DCUM because...?