Would you feel left out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have this every single year on Thanksgiving. My parents are down in Florida doing their own thing. My brother and sister are neighbors in the Boston area. They have their dinner with their in-laws (both sets area from New England) but end up hanging out together at some point. My husband is from another country...We've had dinner with friends but not the same as family. And I always feel weird about it, explaining to people (see, my in-laws are not in the U.S. blah blah blah). My siblings are happy---they're not missing out on anything! I have invited them but they never want to make the trip. I've hinted about coming, but they're set with their spouses families, etc. And so it goes... And yes, I'm the youngest. And every year I get mad, upset, hurt, and then I'm over it.

I hate that kind of family dynamic. Unfortunately, it usually means that some family members are just not into getting together as you are. Often, other people will try to make you feel better by making all kinds of excuses for your family because they have never experienced this, but the fact is that some families definitely have that weird exclusion dynamic going on.

[Anonymous]

I am the excluded one in my family. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup would feel left out; that's fucked up. I'd be pissed

+1 Yes, that is absolutely terrible. Especially since you specifically asked to be told when they planned to get together and were offering to get yourself there. I'm so sorry, OP. I would tell them that you were hurt that they all go together and didn't invite you. You don't want things like this to keep happening, and if there is a root cause, you want a chance to fix it.