Boyfriend bought me flowers after reading an article

[Anonymous]

Honey. Take it from all the 40+ year old mamas here on DCUM. We know what we're talking about.

Good for you for studying for the GRE while holding down a nanny job.

Not to sound judgmental but you've already told us that BF did not go to college, lives in Baltimore (we assume you're in DC?) and that you've been dating him for only 6 months. I know that feels like a long time and anniversary/ flowers/ diamond ring worthy in your mind, but trust us -- it's not.

You will quickly outgrow this fella if you continue on your present track of full employment and especially grad school. Please recognize that. That is a good thing. The sooner that you see that and that all of this drama he is presenting you with is only going to hold you back, the better off you will be.

You are 22. You have an important job and a bright future ahead of you. PLEASE put that first. This guy is simply not keeping up with you, and he knows it. That is the root of all of his insecurity and professed adorations. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

OP, what you and others have described as "needy" is actually controlling and a nascent form of abuse. It will escalate and get ugly. Get out now. Then go to therapy to learn why you either don't recognize his behavior as such and/or why you seem to get off on it. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and divorced. I was late 20s when I met my ex, and very naive dating-wise. We were really a bad match. OP, I'm glad you came here to ask for the opinion of others. I wish someone had said something to me and that I had asked.

From what you posted, you two are not a good match. Intellectually, in the first instance. Keep doing what you're doing. The fact that your BF is smothering you when you're studying for the GRE is troubling, but the other things you mentioned are not your garden variety jealousy. You should be able to relax however you want to -- and reading is a good thing! But he doesn't let you be you...and that will not turn out well long term.

No articles needed...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honey. Take it from all the 40+ year old mamas here on DCUM. We know what we're talking about.

Good for you for studying for the GRE while holding down a nanny job.

Not to sound judgmental but you've already told us that BF did not go to college, lives in Baltimore (we assume you're in DC?) and that you've been dating him for only 6 months. I know that feels like a long time and anniversary/ flowers/ diamond ring worthy in your mind, but trust us -- it's not.

You will quickly outgrow this fella if you continue on your present track of full employment and especially grad school. Please recognize that. That is a good thing. The sooner that you see that and that all of this drama he is presenting you with is only going to hold you back, the better off you will be.

You are 22. You have an important job and a bright future ahead of you. PLEASE put that first. This guy is simply not keeping up with you, and he knows it. That is the root of all of his insecurity and professed adorations. Think about it.

Thanks! the best advice I've read thus far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and divorced. I was late 20s when I met my ex, and very naive dating-wise. We were really a bad match. OP, I'm glad you came here to ask for the opinion of others. I wish someone had said something to me and that I had asked.

From what you posted, you two are not a good match. Intellectually, in the first instance. Keep doing what you're doing. The fact that your BF is smothering you when you're studying for the GRE is troubling, but the other things you mentioned are not your garden variety jealousy. You should be able to relax however you want to -- and reading is a good thing! But he doesn't let you be you...and that will not turn out well long term.

No articles needed...

You are very right thanks for being honest, seriously.

[Anonymous]

I would end this. You're wasting your time with this guy. I agree the extreme clinginess and suspicion are red flags. Is it too late to cancel the diamond ring delivery? You can probably put that money to better use. Oh and for future reference, never get a guy a gift more extravagant than what you're getting from him.

[Anonymous]

The weirdest thing that stands out to me is that you bought him a diamond ring. Did I read the correctly? If so, what the what?

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP. The way he was carrying on and on about the flowers totally killed the surprise and novelty of receiving them.

I think you should slow things down w/your man. <---- Not because of the flower situation.
What troubles me is how clingy he is toward you. It isn't normal nor is it healthy to be so needy. It must make you feel smothered. These are early signs of abuse.

I would take a little step backward and assert some independence.

If your boyfriend doesn't like it, then tough.

[Anonymous]

And please don't show him this post for heavens sake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And please don't show him this post for heavens sake!

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And please don't show him this post for heavens sake!

+10000

I won't!!

[Anonymous]

Wow! An OP who doesn't argue with sound advice or tell savvy posters to STFU. Who knew?

Smart OP. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! An OP who doesn't argue with sound advice or tell savvy posters to STFU. Who knew?

Smart OP. Good luck.

Not OP....I'm happy to read this!

Op, you also need to put a magnifying glass on yourself to figure out how/why you got into this relationship. You attract people that are at your same emotional level. You brought something to the table here, figure it out! It will help you land a more emotionally mature person next time around. And also just help you in life in general.

[Anonymous]

This guy will turn into a stalker eventually. Get out now.

[Anonymous]

WHY did you buy him a diamond ring?? I am so confused.