My brother confided in my husand that he is having an affair!

[Anonymous]

Wow.

1) It's a dick move on your brother's part to tell your husband and request total confidence. At the very least he should assume your DH would tell you.

2) Am I the only one here who would rip their sibling a new one for cheating? Unless there were some serious extenuating circumstances, I would tear my siblings up and down for that behavior. It doesn't matter if their spouses were jerks and they were unhappy. Man/woman up - get out of your marriage and THEN move on. Infidelity is one of the most selfish acts ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow.

1) It's a dick move on your brother's part to tell your husband and request total confidence. At the very least he should assume your DH would tell you.

2) Am I the only one here who would rip their sibling a new one for cheating? Unless there were some serious extenuating circumstances, I would tear my siblings up and down for that behavior. It doesn't matter if their spouses were jerks and they were unhappy. Man/woman up - get out of your marriage and THEN move on. Infidelity is one of the most selfish acts ever.

Yes what has happened to the morals in our society? Don't get married. If you find yourself in a bad marriage have the integrity to get out before you bonk someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow.

1) It's a dick move on your brother's part to tell your husband and request total confidence. At the very least he should assume your DH would tell you.

2) Am I the only one here who would rip their sibling a new one for cheating? Unless there were some serious extenuating circumstances, I would tear my siblings up and down for that behavior. It doesn't matter if their spouses were jerks and they were unhappy. Man/woman up - get out of your marriage and THEN move on. Infidelity is one of the most selfish acts ever.

Yes what has happened to the morals in our society? Don't get married. If you find yourself in a bad marriage have the integrity to get out before you bonk someone else.

Last I checked marriage is an individuals choice in our country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH tells your brother, "I'm uncomfortable being asked to keep information from my wife. And, WTF do you want us to do with this knowledge? You know it's going to be very difficult for us all to get together and play happy families."

+1000

That's quite rude and selfish of your brother to put your husband in that position. Your husband's first loyalty to is to you, his wife.

+1. It's pretty narcissistic of your brother, really. He's telling your DH his own feelings and needs are bigger than anyone else's and that your DH's loyalty to him (his BIL) should trump loyalty to you (his wife.) Of course your brother is also modeling disloyalty to his own wife, and inviting your DH to share in this secret is pretty manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is a creep for breaking a confidence.

DH here: I take a hard line on breaking confidences, but telling your spouse something is not breaking a confidence in all but the most unusual circumstances, of which this is not one to me. OP, you have a tough choice, though. Your brother is doing something bad, but family loyalty is important. I'm normally all for telling the cheated on spouse, as a matter of civic duty, but I think family loyalty carries the day here, assuming your brother is worthy of such loyalty. I think your best course is to tell him you know and disapprove, and urge him to mend his ways, but not blow the whistle with his wife. Your bro has created a difficult situation with the bad judgment of confiding in your DH, and he kind of deserves whatever he gets as a result, though.