Need advice on a sister situation

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a very similar dynamic with my younger sister. I am fighting a lifelong battle in overcoming my big sister sense of responsibility for her, learning how not to jump every time she yanks my emotional chain, learning how to separate my life from hers, how to say no, etc...

Just stand your ground. Say that you're really sorry but you don't like spas, the weekend would be a dream for some people but not for you, and you don't want to take the time away from your family.

Period. She's 38. Would you have behaved this way at 38? Would you pressure her (or anyone) this way? Then don't allow yourself to be treated that way either.

I get how this sounds awful to some people, but a lifelong "princess" who is used to getting her way, being taken care of, catered to, etc... is a dynamic I understand. And it is a surprisingly powerful family dynamic - one you were trained into from the day she was born.

Good luck building some new boundaries - sincerely.

[Anonymous]

So, you both want to have your way? A princess and a diva can never rid themselves of their own selfish desires in order to please another. First world problems....Next!

[Anonymous]

You and the poster of the thread a few weeks ago who complained her cousin was a house guest who cleaned and organized her closets both sound super whiny. your sister asked you to spend time with you. OMG, the horror. She isn't asking you to pay. It is only 3 days. Have you even researched the spa/resort? Do you know what it offers? Spas all vary, most are way more than facials and massages, like yoga, horseback riding, hiking, art classes, swimming, cooking classes, etc.

[Anonymous]

If the spa day is free go! There is qaulity time u can spend with ur sis, heck u can always find something else to do while u r there right?! Have fun enjoy ur family. I would.

[Anonymous]

I sense you don't get along with her much. If so, I totally understand. If I had to spend extra time on VACATION with my sister...sigh...i would have to find time NOT be together for all those days. I spend more time waiting for her than doing/seeing things.
But, you can still do it and 'give' yourself/her a chance to get along. Try to find some time and activity away from her, so you are not constantly together that may drive you insane.

[Anonymous]

Umm, OP, can I go instead of you? I have last seen the inside of a spa on my wedding day and that was 5 years ago and 2 kids later. The most I allow myself now is a haircut. Luckily, I pain my own nails.

Pretty pleaaaaase?)))

[Anonymous]

Is the spa Miraval? If it is, I strongly recommend you go. There is so much more to do there than get massages and body treatments. My DH went with his co-workers and raved about it. You only go around this life once.

[Anonymous]

Miraval's food is divine. Don't miss a chance to go to a serene and beautiful place, learn new things, and feel rejuvenated.