Need advice on a sister situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should go. She is making a very nice offer to you for a fun relaxing weekend and sister bonding time. And this is free for you? This is a no-brainer. This would only be a maybe IF you had to pay big bucks.

The sister is trying to use OP to fill in for the friend she invited in the first place. It's not a nice offer, OP is the second choice/backup plan.

[Anonymous]

Is going just to be nice out of the question or are you that opposed to spas? I don't care for them but wouldn't mind a 3 day break from everything!

[Anonymous]

I'd adore the chance to spend time with a non-sociopathic sister. I wish I had your problems. Even more than that, I wish I were kidding.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused as to why you had to start this post with staying that you think your sister is spoiled rotten by her doting husband. To me it implies that you are jealous of your sister and are refusing to go with her to knock her wonderful life down a peg or two. I know you don't like spas, but do you also not like your sister? It seems like a great chance to just hang out together. As other PPs have suggested, I'm sure there are other things you can do at the spa or in the area to fill some of your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to why you had to start this post with staying that you think your sister is spoiled rotten by her doting husband. To me it implies that you are jealous of your sister and are refusing to go with her to knock her wonderful life down a peg or two. I know you don't like spas, but do you also not like your sister? It seems like a great chance to just hang out together. As other PPs have suggested, I'm sure there are other things you can do at the spa or in the area to fill some of your time.

Got cut off. Unless there are reasons why you don't like your sister, rather than disliking her relationship with her husband, I think you are being unreasonable. I would go to an event/trip with someone I love even if its not a place I want to be if I know it would really mean something to them.

[Anonymous]

I went on a cruise to spend time with my brother even though cruises are so not my thing.
There may be things to like about the spa.
There may even be things to like about your sister...

[Anonymous]

I am sure there is more to this than we are learning so lets not be too quick to judge. It is her prerogative if she doesn't like spas and want to spend 3 days at one to not go. Why should she feel cornered to doing it?

[Anonymous]

I'm confused as to why you had to start this post with staying that you think your sister is spoiled rotten by her doting husband. To me it implies that you are jealous of your sister and are refusing to go with her to knock her wonderful life down a peg or two. I know you don't like spas, but do you also not like your sister? It seems like a great chance to just hang out together. As other PPs have suggested, I'm sure there are other things you can do at the spa or in the area to fill some of your time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure there is more to this than we are learning so lets not be too quick to judge. It is her prerogative if she doesn't like spas and want to spend 3 days at one to not go. Why should she feel cornered to doing it?

OP asked us to judge her actions and tell her if she was being unreasonable. Based on what she wrote people are providing their opinions.

[Anonymous]

OP here....to clear a few things up. I love my sister but we all call her princess in my family, she is waited on like you cannot imagine, examples- her husband brings her coffee in bed every morning, cooks in their house and just worships her. Of course I am a little jealous...who wouldn't be but hes a great guy and she is a good sister all in all.

BUT she is used to getting her way all the time. So she and her best friend planned this trip but her b friend got this job so she cannot go. So..she wants me to go in her place, I am not big on spas I have a thing about germs,etc....besides I don't like being away from my family unless it something I really want to do and this is not that thing. So that's where I stand. Not being difficult but why fly all the way to AZ to do something I don't like doing? Its a 3 day program at the spa and there is basically no time to do things off premise as many suggested otherwise I might have been more game. This follows an itinerary.

Besides, she has tons of friends..all of whom like the things she likes and I am sure they would love to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here....to clear a few things up. I love my sister but we all call her princess in my family, she is waited on like you cannot imagine, examples- her husband brings her coffee in bed every morning, cooks in their house and just worships her. Of course I am a little jealous...who wouldn't be but hes a great guy and she is a good sister all in all.

BUT she is used to getting her way all the time. So she and her best friend planned this trip but her b friend got this job so she cannot go. So..she wants me to go in her place, I am not big on spas I have a thing about germs,etc....besides I don't like being away from my family unless it something I really want to do and this is not that thing. So that's where I stand. Not being difficult but why fly all the way to AZ to do something I don't like doing? Its a 3 day program at the spa and there is basically no time to do things off premise as many suggested otherwise I might have been more game. This follows an itinerary.

Besides, she has tons of friends..all of whom like the things she likes and I am sure they would love to go.

If she has tons of friends who would be willing to go, then why did she ask you? Perhaps because she thought spending time with just you would be nice?

I'd go.

[Anonymous]

She asked me because my birthday is in Oct. and she said this could be like a birthday gift and that "I don't get out on my own and do enough"....for her this is something she does at least 4 times a year, goes on trips with her friends, its not really my thing and she doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

Canyon Ranch?
Hell, if you don't want to go I will!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She asked me because my birthday is in Oct. and she said this could be like a birthday gift and that "I don't get out on my own and do enough"....for her this is something she does at least 4 times a year, goes on trips with her friends, its not really my thing and she doesn't get it.

It sounds like a genuinely loving gesture that she's making - to the best of her ability. I'd go if I were you. But if you can find a good time to explain you're meeting her more than halfway (given your distaste for this trip), do. Make sure you're in a generous, kindly frame of mind when you have that talk, though; otherwise, it might not be a constructive one.

[Anonymous]

Life is too short to get sucked into doing something you have no desire to do...three days at a spa would be torture for me too, maybe one day to be a good sport. But when you have that conversation maybe suggest another outing you BOTH enjoy to show you want to spend time with her.