Competitive (Club) Swimming -- At what point is it fine for a child to leave a longtime sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another PP talking about college spots.

This is why we stay far, far away from swimming. My "natural ability" tween loved it until the other parents started talking like the PP. Not so much fun anymore when the parents are more competitive than the kids.

Perhaps it would be better to talk about the alternatives to swimming as decisions made not for any reason other than "time better spent".

Your child should choose to leave swimming when/if they come to the opinion that, "I think that those three hours a day that I currently swim would be better spent practicing the piano, running track, and studying for school.". Just one example.

And you are absolutely correct, swim parents are fairly intense and competitive, unless their child is one of the very best -- then they realize how fortunate they are and appreciate the talent. LOL

[Anonymous]

My advice would be to keep your son or daughter engaged in a mix of extracurricular choices in addition to year-round club swimming. If they excel at swimming and want to drop their other activities later on (13/14), then they can do so.

If swimming turns out not to be the child's strength or favorite, then they still have other talents and interests to engage in.

It is sad (to me) only when a young swimmer who has practiced for 20+ hours/week to the exclusion of everything else, stalls or fails to progress, and is then unhappy in the only activity they have known.

Let your child pursue different interests until they are ready to decide which ones they really value.

[Anonymous]

Mom of the 8 year old here.... Thank you so much for the advice. He did do winter swimming but at the end of the summer season gets beat out by a few athletic kids that did not winter swim and have more natural ability. And also more time over the summer to practice....

Anyways, we are only in for a few hours a week at this point so we will keep it up since he likes it. I hear there are some kids that are so good when they start that when things start to get tough they quit. We definitely wont be having that problem!

No one needs or wants him to be a superstar since there are other activities and academic stuff that he excels at. I just don't want him to end up feeling bad about himself, or spend a lot of time doing something that in the long run just isn't his thing. I guess its too early to say at this point so we will stick with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of the 8 year old here.... Thank you so much for the advice. He did do winter swimming but at the end of the summer season gets beat out by a few athletic kids that did not winter swim and have more natural ability. And also more time over the summer to practice....

Anyways, we are only in for a few hours a week at this point so we will keep it up since he likes it. I hear there are some kids that are so good when they start that when things start to get tough they quit. We definitely wont be having that problem!

No one needs or wants him to be a superstar since there are other activities and academic stuff that he excels at. I just don't want him to end up feeling bad about himself, or spend a lot of time doing something that in the long run just isn't his thing. I guess its too early to say at this point so we will stick with it.

I want my kids to do things that they are bad at and have to work hard to be good at. My kids excel at a lot of stuff. I don't want them to only do stuff that is easy because I want them to learn to work for their goals. I wasn't really challenged in school until I got to college and then the whole "Wait, I have to work?" experience was disorienting and a shock to the system.

[Anonymous]

My DC's school has academic teams in math, science, and chess which are open to any student who would like to participate. Despite the fact that the school is full of bright kids, relatively few of them join these teams.

Last year the room parents undertook a program to ask each family to give a nominal sum ($25/per student) to support the academic teams. Many parents balked, saying that we were asking all of the students to "subsidize" a program that benefits only the smartest students -- this despite the fact that these academic teams are open to EVERY student in the school.

How are the competitive area swim clubs so successful at getting parents to pay thousands of dollars of fees per year for programs where it seems that the same principle would apply as to our academic teams. (I.e., they are open to everyone, but are of greatest benefit to the most talented participants)?

[Anonymous]

I wish our school had some academic teams.

On a related note, I often tire of hearing of my friend's kids sports successes (e.g. swimming, soccer, etc). Not that I would, but it is considered not OK to talk about academic successes. I think its an interesting social phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of the 8 year old here.... Thank you so much for the advice. He did do winter swimming but at the end of the summer season gets beat out by a few athletic kids that did not winter swim and have more natural ability. And also more time over the summer to practice....

Anyways, we are only in for a few hours a week at this point so we will keep it up since he likes it. I hear there are some kids that are so good when they start that when things start to get tough they quit. We definitely wont be having that problem!

No one needs or wants him to be a superstar since there are other activities and academic stuff that he excels at. I just don't want him to end up feeling bad about himself, or spend a lot of time doing something that in the long run just isn't his thing. I guess its too early to say at this point so we will stick with it.

I want my kids to do things that they are bad at and have to work hard to be good at. My kids excel at a lot of stuff. I don't want them to only do stuff that is easy because I want them to learn to work for their goals. I wasn't really challenged in school until I got to college and then the whole "Wait, I have to work?" experience was disorienting and a shock to the system.

I am not saying that these alternatives are any easier than competitive swimming, and in fact a student who achieves a high level of proficiency in a musical instrument, or qualifies for the national tournament in policy debate, or is all conference in football, also has to work very hard at their accomplishments. I am only saying that kids should maintain their interests in other actvities where, as they get older, their true passion and talent may lie.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is at the age most boys and girls quit swimming. It has nothing to do with the work, the reuslts etc, it has to do with their appearance in a swim suit.

it is very common. self esteem issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is at the age most boys and girls quit swimming. It has nothing to do with the work, the reuslts etc, it has to do with their appearance in a swim suit.

it is very common. self esteem issues.

I can assure you that this is not the case with my particular child, though I do not doubt that it may be an issue for some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it okay for your child to decide that they are not going to progress in competitive swimming (do not have the "big talent"), and will pursue their other activities and talents with more time?

I know that swimming has taught my child work ethic, discipline, time management, and healthy habits, but if the talent is not there (makes JOs and Zones, but so many other age-group swimmers are so much faster) then at what age is it acceptable to move on to other pursuits with the big time commitment that swimming takes up?

The club coaches all suggest that we continue because talent develops in different time frames, but my child (and I) sees that the big-time, college-level talent is just not there in spite of years and hours of devotion to the sport. In all honesty I feel like USA Swimming and the club teams are a bit of a pyramid scheme, where the weaker swimmers at the bottom (and there are many of those) support the great coaches and superstar swimmers at the top with their substantial fees and dues, and are disingenuously encouraged to stay on for years on end without the slightest signs of talent -- only to support the coaching network that makes the great swimmers possible.

Other pursuits or sports are better at signaling potential to a child at a younger age -- through auditions (music conservatory, youth orchestras) and tryouts (club soccer) -- that differentiate between the truly gifted and the recreational talent.

This doesn't take three paragraphs. You stop when it stops being fun and I think you are there.

He should join a team he enjoys socially and transition now into swimming for fitness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to say that some of these posts about swim parents makes me happy we enrolled our DC in a no-pressure winter stroke clinic. The description of the RMSC parents makes them (the other RMSC parents, not the poster who described them) sound a little psycho. Who are these people who have the time to worry about whether other kids are practicing sufficiently?

Would you share the name and location of the no-pressure winter swim clinic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of the 8 year old here.... Thank you so much for the advice. He did do winter swimming but at the end of the summer season gets beat out by a few athletic kids that did not winter swim and have more natural ability. And also more time over the summer to practice....

Anyways, we are only in for a few hours a week at this point so we will keep it up since he likes it. I hear there are some kids that are so good when they start that when things start to get tough they quit. We definitely wont be having that problem!

No one needs or wants him to be a superstar since there are other activities and academic stuff that he excels at. I just don't want him to end up feeling bad about himself, or spend a lot of time doing something that in the long run just isn't his thing. I guess its too early to say at this point so we will stick with it.

Why not? Isn't this just part of life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish our school had some academic teams.

On a related note, I often tire of hearing of my friend's kids sports successes (e.g. swimming, soccer, etc). Not that I would, but it is considered not OK to talk about academic successes. I think its an interesting social phenomenon.

Really? Where do you live? In lower MoCo, a lot of emphasis in elementary school on geography & spelling bee champions, math Olympiad and even non-academic like safety patrol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are the competitive area swim clubs so successful at getting parents to pay thousands of dollars of fees per year for programs where it seems that the same principle would apply as to our academic teams. (I.e., they are open to everyone, but are of greatest benefit to the most talented participants)?

Swimming is an individual as well as a team sport. The "supporting players" may not be earning points for their team but they get to participate in meets, they participate in practice, they improve their technique and their times and their endurance.

Those same parents would likely not pay if their children did not get to participate (e.g. if they only got to attend practice and never compete in a meet, if they weren't challenged and taught how to improve technique and times, etc) fully.

My child is not a star swimmer but aside from the competitive qualifying meets, she gets the same experience as a star swimmer. She might not get the same amount of access to the "best" coaches, if you consider only their stats on coaching star swimmers, but she gets the same amount of access to excellent coaches who suit where she is in swimming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a timely post. I am struggling on what to do with my 8 year old. He loves to swim but basically has to work 2x as hard as the other kids on our summer team just to keep up and even then it doesn't always happen. So far has not caused an issue and the practices are great exercise. Its definitely occurred to me that maybe we should encourage some other pursuits for some of the same reasons covered by PPs. Or not, since maybe he is old enough to decide himself.

For those of you with older kids, at what age did the hard work pay off? Did something click at some point or were your kids always really good?

I have two boys (13 & 10) who have been on our community swim team the past few summers. Neither boy is the star of the team by any stretch of the imagination but they are both steadily improving - they get a little bit faster at every meet, form is getting better, confidence at competition is building, etc. And they are both having fun at their morning swim practice. In fact, this summer has been such a positive experience for them that they also both want to do (once a week) winter swim. I consider that to be a pretty good pay off.