Competitive (Club) Swimming -- At what point is it fine for a child to leave a longtime sport?

[Anonymous]

For those not familiar with club swimming, in addition to the serious time commitment of 2-2.5/hour practices up to 6-7 days a week starting at about age 10, there are the costs of upwards of $4,000 per year at higher levels.

In my opinion, club swimming MAY do a disservice to some swimmers and their families by not being forthcoming about a swimmer's potential (Sectionals, Jr. Nationals, Nationals, World Champs, Division I, National/Jr. National teams).

In our case we were always told when we asked that our older child should continue with another year as s/he was a possible college swimmer. DC kept at it for far longer than s/he (in retrospect) should have -- when they were so good at other things that could have benefitted from more time. Luckily, DC came to that reailization themself early in 9th grade and has gone one to use the time freed up by a non-starter swim career to flourish in every area of high school life. DC has attained high levels of accomplishment in other activities that s/he would never have attained in swimming, or would never have been able to get in these other activities if they had continued with the time commitments of club swimming.

We are grateful for those early years of club swimming, though, as they were fun-filled, and taught DC a lot about hard work, goal-setting, accomplishments, time management, and a healthy lifestyle. You just have to recognize when the right time to leave is, and that comes when your time could be better spent accomplishing greater things outside of swimming.

[Anonymous]

This is sad OP. You pushed this child too far with swimming (I worry you will do it with the next activity). It is completely ok for 7-10 year olds to do summer swimming and winter stroke clinics. When a parent doesn't put a limit in place kids tend to get burned out. It is completely ok for your child to do only two activities at a time. It is great if your kid does a variety of activities that is interesting to them. Not all activities should be done with the expectation of a scholarship. They should be done because your child likes them, finds them fun and keeps them engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how old is your child?
I don't think all the PP understand that swimming is a huge time commitment, more so than many other sports- 2 hour practices 6 days a week and some weeks practice 5 days a week and then a meet on the weekends. If your child no longer has the passion for it and is getting discouraged, I would let the child quit as long as they were doing another activity or sport.
I swam from 5 to 6 days a week from ages 6-13 year-round on a swim team and wished I quit earlier. I was never the top age group swimmer on my competitive swim team even though I was a really good swimmer, and it got to be really discouraging after a while.
I decided I would not put my kids in swimming because it really takes a family commitment. Now I am a crazy soccer mom, but practice for my 8 year old club/travel soccer player is only twice a week with games on the weekend. Unless it is a tournament, the games take 2 hours from getting to the fields, warm-up, to walking to the car. Much better than all day swim meets.

I am really interested in hearing more about this, as my child is on a summer swim team and has done winter stroke clinic (non-team) for two years. He is 9 -- and we are facing a dilemma -- continue with stroke clinic twice a week and do other sports, or go down the year round swim team path. We don't know much about year round swim team, so wanted anyone's thoughts and prior experience on this. Will it be so intense that other activities fall by the wayside? He's a decent swimmer but we are also on a small summer team, so he gets lots of chances to swim. No all star times or anything, but he really loves it. TIA.

I think it depends on the club. My DD yr old swims at RMSC in the most "advanced" group for the 9-13 y/olds. In that group there are kids who swim 5-6 times per week and parents that let you know you're not "keeping up" if you don't come to every practice and get private lessons on the side. However, my child does the minimum (3) practices/week and plays another sport. The coaches actually encourage kids to do multiple sports. I do think it helps prevent burn-out to take the long view and don't get sucked into the thinking that you have to be the fastest 10, 12, or 14 year old to enjoy a fun and long swimming career. LOTs of kids that swim as much as OPs DC is burn out before h.s. I personally hope to defer that intense of a workout schedule until h.s. An by then she may indeed decide to choose the other sport or a third . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is sad OP. You pushed this child too far with swimming (I worry you will do it with the next activity). It is completely ok for 7-10 year olds to do summer swimming and winter stroke clinics. When a parent doesn't put a limit in place kids tend to get burned out. It is completely ok for your child to do only two activities at a time. It is great if your kid does a variety of activities that is interesting to them. Not all activities should be done with the expectation of a scholarship. They should be done because your child likes them, finds them fun and keeps them engaged.

DC does not swim with the expectataion of a scholarship, DC swims because they like the sport, love their friends in swimming, and enjoy the achievements that come from attending practice regularly, setting goals, and meeting them.

That said, by the time you reach 13+ even the coaches will tell you that you have to practice consistently if you want to continue to accomplish your goals (now Zones, Sectionals, Jr. Nationals, etc.), and that means 2.5 hours+ at least 6-7 days a week.

At that point I think that it is worth it to step back, examine your life goals, look at your other talents and loves, and ask whether the 14-21 hours a week you spend in the pool (not including commutes) is better spent on other things. -- especially if your swim potential is limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is sad OP. You pushed this child too far with swimming (I worry you will do it with the next activity). It is completely ok for 7-10 year olds to do summer swimming and winter stroke clinics. When a parent doesn't put a limit in place kids tend to get burned out. It is completely ok for your child to do only two activities at a time. It is great if your kid does a variety of activities that is interesting to them. Not all activities should be done with the expectation of a scholarship. They should be done because your child likes them, finds them fun and keeps them engaged.

My DC was not swimming that much as a 10-year old, only more recently as a 12-13 year old. That type of time commitment is actually very commong for the higher-level 12+ year olds involved in competitive swimming in this area.

[Anonymous]

How good a swimmer does a child need to be to be part of a decent suburban high school swim team (not the best, just part of a team)? How much practice and money is involved?

[Anonymous]

This is a timely post. I am struggling on what to do with my 8 year old. He loves to swim but basically has to work 2x as hard as the other kids on our summer team just to keep up and even then it doesn't always happen. So far has not caused an issue and the practices are great exercise. Its definitely occurred to me that maybe we should encourage some other pursuits for some of the same reasons covered by PPs. Or not, since maybe he is old enough to decide himself.

For those of you with older kids, at what age did the hard work pay off? Did something click at some point or were your kids always really good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How good a swimmer does a child need to be to be part of a decent suburban high school swim team (not the best, just part of a team)? How much practice and money is involved?

The high school teams are very inclusive, and put the talent of both active and "retired" club swimmers to good use. I have also seen swimmers with little formal experience enjoy the high school swim team. You generally practice 2 hours a day, 4-5 days a week in season, plus time spent attending the swim meets. The costs are relatively low for a team suit, cap, shirt, outerwear like sweats or a long coat, and your goggles of course.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of people are missing some positive points about swimming.

It is an individual pursuit within a team set up. That means you get out of it what you get into it, forever, when you are 8, 14, 21, or 45.

The social aspect of swim team is important. And in addition, the fact that an 8 year old is as important as a 14 year old on a summer league, and a freshman as much as a senior, is different than most other team sports.

Unlike many other sports, swimming teaches you to appreciate time. This is a complicated skill for a lot of people, and particularly teenagers. Not only the time for practice and commuting and time at meets. But also time spent in the water. How long does it take you to swim a 50, a 200, a mile? This will give your child a sense of time that will carry over to the rest of his/ her life.

There are often swim groups that only meet once or twice a week. The coaches (or other parents) might say "Your kid is so fast, he/ she should be in the 5 time a week group" But that doesn't mean you kid can't join the twice a week high school group, swim meets when it works out, and keep up other activities as well.

All that being said. If it's not fun, don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what point is it fine for a child to leave a longtime sport?

At the time that the child decides that the child doesn't want to do it anymore.

Bingo!

The last thing I'd want to do is force my kid to keep doing a time consuming, somewhat high pressure competitive activity that they were not interested in.

I'm surprised the question even has to be asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a timely post. I am struggling on what to do with my 8 year old. He loves to swim but basically has to work 2x as hard as the other kids on our summer team just to keep up and even then it doesn't always happen. So far has not caused an issue and the practices are great exercise. Its definitely occurred to me that maybe we should encourage some other pursuits for some of the same reasons covered by PPs. Or not, since maybe he is old enough to decide himself.

For those of you with older kids, at what age did the hard work pay off? Did something click at some point or were your kids always really good?

Swim parent here.

First of all, at only 8 years old, your son has probably not had enough training for you to truly evaluate what he is capable of. He may be swimming with children who already have year-round formal instruction on technique, and that may be the reason why he is having trouble keeping up. If your son wants to pursue swimming in the fall, I would encourage you to enroll him in a swim program which focuses its younger swimmers on learning the right technique (The Fish is one program with a good early focus on form).

That said, there is definitely such a thing as a "natural" swimmer, and many of the best that I have seen come up through NVSL and the local clubs (NCAP, Machine, RMSC, NOVA) looked good with their form -- even if they were not the very fastest -- pretty early on. My own DCs, alas, were not among them. Like you, I could see early on that my DCs were not naturals and had to focus extra hard to overcome some of their naturally bad tendencies (like bicycle kicks in freestyle), some of which they carry through to today. A swimmer like that will still learn good lessons from swimming, reach many of their goals, and have a real sense of accomplishment; but -- at least in our case -- will be happy one day just to make Sectionals times. (In my experience, a child who can master a natural butterfly (dolphin kick) early on, has a better likelihood of future success in the sport.)

Now as to your other question, even if you work hard to master the correct form in your younger years, you may still initially be slower in the water than some of your peers. I have seen a few swimmers who had trouble making JO cuts as 9-10 year olds, grow into dominant area swimmers as 13+ year olds -- when their coordination and growth kicked in with their form. However, I have never seen a swimmer with bad technique find much success in the long term, even with growth factored in.

If your son really enjoys competitive swimming and wants to continue, then invest in 2 or 3 years of good instruction, and see if your son can master the correct form. If he can, the sky is the limit (possibly).

As I said my own DCs were never able to fully overcome their natural bad swim tendencies, but did love their years swimming and are very successful in other pursuits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what point is it fine for a child to leave a longtime sport?

At the time that the child decides that the child doesn't want to do it anymore.

Bingo!

The last thing I'd want to do is force my kid to keep doing a time consuming, somewhat high pressure competitive activity that they were not interested in.

I'm surprised the question even has to be asked.

Some children are ambivalent about swimming -- they may love the social aspect and short-term accomplishments, but be discouraged by their plateaus and long-term potential. Also, leaving is easier said than done when the clubs encourage you to return, and it is one of the main extracurricular activities that your child has poured their time, energy, and friendships into year after year. It would be doable indefinitely if the programs did not cost so much, or require such a time commitment (15-25 hours/week) to accomplish your long-term goals. For those swimmers who might never get there, I agree that the time might be better spent on other pursuits.

Keep in mind that a middle-of-the-pack swimmer -- no matter how positive, committed, hard-working, and devoted to their sport over the years -- will not beat out her or his faster teammate for the same college admission spot. Given how many truly great, even excellent, top-level swimmers we have in "this town", I would encourage those club swimmers with less potential to find those things that they are relatively better at, and to use their free time to work at those things in the long term. After all, we could use a few more DC area standouts in baseball, theater, debate, chess, vocal and instrumental music, science, math, public service, art, football, and writing.

[Anonymous]

Another PP talking about college spots.

This is why we stay far, far away from swimming. My "natural ability" tween loved it until the other parents started talking like the PP. Not so much fun anymore when the parents are more competitive than the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a timely post. I am struggling on what to do with my 8 year old. He loves to swim but basically has to work 2x as hard as the other kids on our summer team just to keep up and even then it doesn't always happen. So far has not caused an issue and the practices are great exercise. Its definitely occurred to me that maybe we should encourage some other pursuits for some of the same reasons covered by PPs. Or not, since maybe he is old enough to decide himself.

If your child loves it, why does it matter that he's not as good as the other kids?

[Anonymous]

I have to say that some of these posts about swim parents makes me happy we enrolled our DC in a no-pressure winter stroke clinic. The description of the RMSC parents makes them (the other RMSC parents, not the poster who described them) sound a little psycho. Who are these people who have the time to worry about whether other kids are practicing sufficiently?