Would you sign a prenup?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Probably not the prenup they were asking her to sign, but there probably is a fair one to be written.

My dad's family business grew five times over under his stewardship. My mom largely stayed home and raised us over two decades. What do you think she should have been entitled to? Nothing? Half? Something in between? Not so easy.


Half
Anonymous
For a family business, yes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would, but I came into my relationship with more financially so I think that makes me biased.


This. Though my DH has always been willing to sign one and we may draft something since I will likely cover down payment for future home.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Probably not the prenup they were asking her to sign, but there probably is a fair one to be written.

My dad's family business grew five times over under his stewardship. My mom largely stayed home and raised us over two decades. What do you think she should have been entitled to? Nothing? Half? Something in between? Not so easy.


Half


+1 she should get half.
Anonymous
OP, does your husband work in the family business? Do the parents plan to leave it exclusively to him? If so, does he plan to work in it at that point?

I'm not a specialist in divorce law, but I believe that in many cases, money inherited by one spouse from his or her parents is not considered part of the marital estate unless it is comingled with marital assets. So, if the parents sold the business and left the proceeds to your husband during your marriage to him, I don't think you would necessarily be entitled to share in them. If he took those assets and combined them with money from other sources to buy your marital residence, that would be another story.

Anyway, I think there should be a way to draft a prenup that says the family business shall remain your husband's exclusive property as long as he does not spend more than __ hours a year overseeing or working in it. The agreement could also say that any streams of income he receives from the businesses (profit distributions, dividends, whatever) are marital property to be shared in by you, but the going concern value (provided he doesn't cross the __ hours per year noted above) remain his alone. If he does end up working full time in the business, then I think it would be fair for his interest to become part of the marital estate. Otherwise, think of this as being analogous to them leaving him a trust fund that is set up so that you can never claim the principle, but you can share in whatever annual income is thrown off by that principle.

In general, I would have the reaction you had to a prenup in the context of a first marriage where neither party to the marriage had kids or major assets to protect. But in this case, you're not talking about DH's assets, you are talking about the parents' asset. I'm just not sure you have any real basis for feeling entitled to that.

In fact, I suspect the parents could get a lawyer to set up a trust so that the business passes to their son and then his children in a way that you can never claim it anyway, even without a prenup.

As for the parents threatening to boycot the wedding, they will probably come around. But don't underestimate the toll this will take on your fiance. For his sake, consider getting a lawyer to help you understand what you'd be entitled to without a prenup and also to help you work out something that would be fair to you while meeting the parents' needs.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Probably not the prenup they were asking her to sign, but there probably is a fair one to be written.

My dad's family business grew five times over under his stewardship. My mom largely stayed home and raised us over two decades. What do you think she should have been entitled to? Nothing? Half? Something in between? Not so easy.


Half


Not necessarily hard either. The business could have been valued prior to your dad's assumption of control. Anything over and above that could have been characterized as marital property, because his labor during the marriage played a material role in adding that value.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a family business? Absolutely.

For my future husband's income? Nope.

I 100% understand why I would be asked to sign something that I have no rights to the family business.


I am not sure is see the distinction, if the business grows the new wife wont benefit fom that. She would only benefit from his salary and bonuses taken.


Because one would give her rights to the business (voting, managing net, etc) and one is purely financial. I would be happy to disclaim any management rights to the business. I would be happy to disclaim any money derived from such business once it is paid out to husband as either comp or distributions.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a family business? Absolutely.

For my future husband's income? Nope.

I 100% understand why I would be asked to sign something that I have no rights to the family business.


I am not sure is see the distinction, if the business grows the new wife wont benefit fom that. She would only benefit from his salary and bonuses taken.


Because one would give her rights to the business (voting, managing net, etc) and one is purely financial. I would be happy to disclaim any management rights to the business. I would be happy to disclaim any money derived from such business once it is paid out to husband as either comp or distributions.


That last sentence should say *not* happy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Probably not the prenup they were asking her to sign, but there probably is a fair one to be written.

My dad's family business grew five times over under his stewardship. My mom largely stayed home and raised us over two decades. What do you think she should have been entitled to? Nothing? Half? Something in between? Not so easy.


I guess it all depends on the spouse. I've seen ones like your mom who deserve half. And I've seen ones who deserve zero and try to take everything.
Anonymous
Sign the pre-nup!

Reverse situation here: my family owns a business and when it came to marriage, DH had to sign a pre-nup forgoing rights to my interest in the family business. He did so and did not even have a concern about doing so.

The reality is that half the marriages in the US end up in divorce and although we all think it will not happen to us, it does ...... just the complaints about spouses on this forum and advice from posters to end the marriage is anecdotal evidence of how many marriages end up in trouble.

What some posters who have argued against signing the prenup and offering ways to protect OP's interests may not realize is that making a financial settlement in the event of divorce when it comes to a family business, is very difficult. Many such businesses don't have the liquidity to do so and this results in serious complications and ramifications.

I have three siblings and our parents made it clear that if an iron-clad pre-nup was not signed, the child would forgo his/her rights to any equity in the family business. It was our choice and if signing a pre-nup was something that went against the grain, then the child needed to accept that there was a consequence. After all, it is their business/property and they are free do with it as they will.
Anonymous
No. A prenup is a "if this doesn't work out". If that's what you think before you start, you shouldn't say yes in the first place IMHO. I know, divorce happens to ALOT of us, but if you already have an escape hatch, it's easier to say "I quit".
Anonymous
In the event of divorce, does anyone know what the parents stand to lose in regards to the business?
Anonymous
No prenup. I agree that the parents should be able to protect their assets without requiring their son to get a prenup.

I married (first marriage in our late 20's) into a wealthy family with no pre-nup nearly 20 years ago. Instead my in-laws welcomed me and have specifically given me the maximum amount under the gift laws (so $28,000 this year) each year of our marriage. No divorce!
Anonymous
No.

I think prenups make a mockery of wedding vows. If you can't share everything you have with the person you plan to marry, you shouldn't get married. These days, there's really nothing wrong with just living together.
Anonymous
"I think prenups make a mockery of wedding vows. "

Prenups/marriage contracts go back to ancient times, nitwit.
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