S/O fat bashing

[Anonymous]

I am disgusted by people who are disgusted by fat people.

First, I think that as previous posts have noted, the fact that so many people are overweight is indicative that there is a problem greater than "self control."

Second, assume that being overweight is solely, 100% attributable to a person's moral character (weak-willed, lazy, etc.) If so, so what? We are all flawed human beings. My most overweight friends is also one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She has great qualities, and maybe also some weaknesses, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING in the world.

So for the thin people out there, think about your worst habits, your worst vices or failings, and imagine that they were emblazoned in giant neon lights across your chest and back for all the world to see, and could never be hidden. Everywhere you go, constantly, everyone could see that you are selfish, or cheap, or insecure, or envious of those who are wealthier, or have better jobs, or who are better looking than you, or would know that you are a a huge slob at home, are incapable of forgiveness, or are up to your ears in credit card debt. Imagine it being broadcast 24/7 that you are bad at your job, or unable to control your temper, or hit your kids and scream at your spouse, or are addicted to alcohol or pills or shopping onr online porn or gambling, or cheating on your spouse. What if everyone could know and judge that you are in a sham, loveless marriage that you are only staying in for financial reasons or for the sake of the kids, or that you hate your parents and don't speak to them, or that you cut yourself, or that you are bulimic or anorexic.

[Anonymous]

Right on, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted by people who are disgusted by fat people.

First, I think that as previous posts have noted, the fact that so many people are overweight is indicative that there is a problem greater than "self control."

Second, assume that being overweight is solely, 100% attributable to a person's moral character (weak-willed, lazy, etc.) If so, so what? We are all flawed human beings. My most overweight friends is also one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She has great qualities, and maybe also some weaknesses, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING in the world.

So for the thin people out there, think about your worst habits, your worst vices or failings, and imagine that they were emblazoned in giant neon lights across your chest and back for all the world to see, and could never be hidden. Everywhere you go, constantly, everyone could see that you are selfish, or cheap, or insecure, or envious of those who are wealthier, or have better jobs, or who are better looking than you, or would know that you are a a huge slob at home, are incapable of forgiveness, or are up to your ears in credit card debt. Imagine it being broadcast 24/7 that you are bad at your job, or unable to control your temper, or hit your kids and scream at your spouse, or are addicted to alcohol or pills or shopping onr online porn or gambling, or cheating on your spouse. What if everyone could know and judge that you are in a sham, loveless marriage that you are only staying in for financial reasons or for the sake of the kids, or that you hate your parents and don't speak to them, or that you cut yourself, or that you are bulimic or anorexic.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted by people who are disgusted by fat people.

First, I think that as previous posts have noted, the fact that so many people are overweight is indicative that there is a problem greater than "self control."

Second, assume that being overweight is solely, 100% attributable to a person's moral character (weak-willed, lazy, etc.) If so, so what? We are all flawed human beings. My most overweight friends is also one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She has great qualities, and maybe also some weaknesses, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING in the world.

So for the thin people out there, think about your worst habits, your worst vices or failings, and imagine that they were emblazoned in giant neon lights across your chest and back for all the world to see, and could never be hidden. Everywhere you go, constantly, everyone could see that you are selfish, or cheap, or insecure, or envious of those who are wealthier, or have better jobs, or who are better looking than you, or would know that you are a a huge slob at home, are incapable of forgiveness, or are up to your ears in credit card debt. Imagine it being broadcast 24/7 that you are bad at your job, or unable to control your temper, or hit your kids and scream at your spouse, or are addicted to alcohol or pills or shopping onr online porn or gambling, or cheating on your spouse. What if everyone could know and judge that you are in a sham, loveless marriage that you are only staying in for financial reasons or for the sake of the kids, or that you hate your parents and don't speak to them, or that you cut yourself, or that you are bulimic or anorexic.

One of the best posts on DCUM ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just assume that someone who fat-bashes, or fat-shames has eating of self-image issues themselves. Thats certainly been the case with the people I've met like that. Why else would they care?

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2/3 of the people in the US are either overweight or obese. It's an epidemic.
So many health issues that could be avoided if they would just lose the weight.
And, yes, I have been overweight. It was really hard to lose the pounds, but I did it - now, I am no longer on BP meds or cholesterol meds.

OP here. I agree, but there is a lot that needs to be addressed beyond shaming fat people in order to turn that ship around.

I've been overweight and lost it myself. However, I still don't get the vitriol. No one runs around calling people a "smoker" or treat people who don't do monthly breast exams poorly.

Actually, you're wrong. I think there has been a lot of shaming and bashing of smokers in the last decade. In fact, it's actually legal for employers to NOT hire a person based solely on smoking (in most states), and so many places do urine or blood tests. I have yet to see a person not get hired because of weight.

Interestingly enough, between the shaming and the increased taxes, smoking rates decreased. I'm not saying it's the right way or ethical/compassionate way, but you have to admit it's been effective.

I think you are kidding yourself if you think fat people get hired at the same rate as thin people. There is a lot of hiring discrimination out there.

[Anonymous]

I have a theory that the fat bashers are either currently overweight or were at some point in their life and they're taking out their self hatred on this site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted by people who are disgusted by fat people.

First, I think that as previous posts have noted, the fact that so many people are overweight is indicative that there is a problem greater than "self control."

Second, assume that being overweight is solely, 100% attributable to a person's moral character (weak-willed, lazy, etc.) If so, so what? We are all flawed human beings. My most overweight friends is also one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She has great qualities, and maybe also some weaknesses, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING in the world.

So for the thin people out there, think about your worst habits, your worst vices or failings, and imagine that they were emblazoned in giant neon lights across your chest and back for all the world to see, and could never be hidden. Everywhere you go, constantly, everyone could see that you are selfish, or cheap, or insecure, or envious of those who are wealthier, or have better jobs, or who are better looking than you, or would know that you are a a huge slob at home, are incapable of forgiveness, or are up to your ears in credit card debt. Imagine it being broadcast 24/7 that you are bad at your job, or unable to control your temper, or hit your kids and scream at your spouse, or are addicted to alcohol or pills or shopping onr online porn or gambling, or cheating on your spouse. What if everyone could know and judge that you are in a sham, loveless marriage that you are only staying in for financial reasons or for the sake of the kids, or that you hate your parents and don't speak to them, or that you cut yourself, or that you are bulimic or anorexic.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I think we are going to find in the next 10 years or so that some combination of things has gone very wrong in our biology, probably relating to our gut bacteria (read Michael Pollen's article in the NYT Mag this week), because of the crap we eat and because of the crap we feed the animals we eat. That, combined with less exercise and cheap food has made most of America fat. It hasn't changed American's morality or thrift or whathave you...its just biology and food. I was struck by this when my husband had surgery for his obesity and dropped over 100 lbs without becoming a morally superior being. He's still him. Yes, he exercises a lot more now, but that came on gradually as the weight came off and it hurt less. But the weight is coming off because of biology (the surgical changes and the gut bacteria changes caused by surgery). It just makes no sense to sneer at people for their biology, and in time you'll feel foolish for blaming fat people, the way we now feel foolish for thinking people with mental illness were evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right on, PP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted by people who are disgusted by fat people.

First, I think that as previous posts have noted, the fact that so many people are overweight is indicative that there is a problem greater than "self control."

Second, assume that being overweight is solely, 100% attributable to a person's moral character (weak-willed, lazy, etc.) If so, so what? We are all flawed human beings. My most overweight friends is also one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She has great qualities, and maybe also some weaknesses, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING in the world.

So for the thin people out there, think about your worst habits, your worst vices or failings, and imagine that they were emblazoned in giant neon lights across your chest and back for all the world to see, and could never be hidden. Everywhere you go, constantly, everyone could see that you are selfish, or cheap, or insecure, or envious of those who are wealthier, or have better jobs, or who are better looking than you, or would know that you are a a huge slob at home, are incapable of forgiveness, or are up to your ears in credit card debt. Imagine it being broadcast 24/7 that you are bad at your job, or unable to control your temper, or hit your kids and scream at your spouse, or are addicted to alcohol or pills or shopping onr online porn or gambling, or cheating on your spouse. What if everyone could know and judge that you are in a sham, loveless marriage that you are only staying in for financial reasons or for the sake of the kids, or that you hate your parents and don't speak to them, or that you cut yourself, or that you are bulimic or anorexic.

Very well-said!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted by people who are disgusted by fat people.

First, I think that as previous posts have noted, the fact that so many people are overweight is indicative that there is a problem greater than "self control."

Second, assume that being overweight is solely, 100% attributable to a person's moral character (weak-willed, lazy, etc.) If so, so what? We are all flawed human beings. My most overweight friends is also one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She has great qualities, and maybe also some weaknesses, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING in the world.

So for the thin people out there, think about your worst habits, your worst vices or failings, and imagine that they were emblazoned in giant neon lights across your chest and back for all the world to see, and could never be hidden. Everywhere you go, constantly, everyone could see that you are selfish, or cheap, or insecure, or envious of those who are wealthier, or have better jobs, or who are better looking than you, or would know that you are a a huge slob at home, are incapable of forgiveness, or are up to your ears in credit card debt. Imagine it being broadcast 24/7 that you are bad at your job, or unable to control your temper, or hit your kids and scream at your spouse, or are addicted to alcohol or pills or shopping onr online porn or gambling, or cheating on your spouse. What if everyone could know and judge that you are in a sham, loveless marriage that you are only staying in for financial reasons or for the sake of the kids, or that you hate your parents and don't speak to them, or that you cut yourself, or that you are bulimic or anorexic.

I feel like copying and pasting this response after every nasty, fat-bashing comment that appears on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say because I think all fat people I know are lazy and have all types of excuses for not working out. I don't understand how anyone wants to stay fat. I have a friend that has gain lots of weight over the last years and now can't bend down to tie his shoes (he pulls his leg up with the pants and has to tie shoe on the side), but is always talking about going to the gym and never does (no wife or kids, only himself). I have another friend who alsways talks about losing weight and then we go out to eat and she gets mounds of pancakes and asks for extra butter, etc. It's disgusting to watch them gorge themselves with food and I hate being at restaurants with them. Very few of the fat people I know have some sort of hormone or metabolic issue.

Ok. There are two things going on here. One is that you lack empathy. Fat people know they are fat and don't want to stay fat. If you haven't ever been overweight perhaps it seems ridiculous, but it isn't. It is incredibly hard to be fat and then lose weight. There are all sorts of factors at play besides effort. (Among them, psychology, nutrition, chemical changes, behavioral changes etc.)

The other is: So what? Why does their being fat piss you off? Lots of people do things differently from you and you let it slide. Why not weight?

PP here. It wouldn't bother me so much if they would stop talking about how they want to lose weight as they are eating a bag of chips. Both of my friends that I referenced are some of the nicest most generous people that I know and I enjoy being friends with them. It's just I get tired of always hearing how they want to lose wright but NEVER do anything towards that "goal". Fine, you like being fat, I don't care but stop with the pity party. My female friend always thinks she is being discriminated against because she's fat. It's like...no one wants to be my friend because I'm fat, I didn't get the job because I'm fat, I can't get a husband because I'm fat, that person was rude to me because I'm fat...and on and on. I'm like ENOUGH already!!! Also, I am NOT jealous of the way they eat. I have grown beyond processed and fried foods. Can I eat it if I want to? Of course! But I have no desire to put that "garbage" in my body any longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say because I think all fat people I know are lazy and have all types of excuses for not working out. I don't understand how anyone wants to stay fat. I have a friend that has gain lots of weight over the last years and now can't bend down to tie his shoes (he pulls his leg up with the pants and has to tie shoe on the side), but is always talking about going to the gym and never does (no wife or kids, only himself). I have another friend who alsways talks about losing weight and then we go out to eat and she gets mounds of pancakes and asks for extra butter, etc. It's disgusting to watch them gorge themselves with food and I hate being at restaurants with them. Very few of the fat people I know have some sort of hormone or metabolic issue.

Ok. There are two things going on here. One is that you lack empathy. Fat people know they are fat and don't want to stay fat. If you haven't ever been overweight perhaps it seems ridiculous, but it isn't. It is incredibly hard to be fat and then lose weight. There are all sorts of factors at play besides effort. (Among them, psychology, nutrition, chemical changes, behavioral changes etc.)

The other is: So what? Why does their being fat piss you off? Lots of people do things differently from you and you let it slide. Why not weight?

PP here. It wouldn't bother me so much if they would stop talking about how they want to lose weight as they are eating a bag of chips. Both of my friends that I referenced are some of the nicest most generous people that I know and I enjoy being friends with them. It's just I get tired of always hearing how they want to lose wright but NEVER do anything towards that "goal". Fine, you like being fat, I don't care but stop with the pity party. My female friend always thinks she is being discriminated against because she's fat. It's like...no one wants to be my friend because I'm fat, I didn't get the job because I'm fat, I can't get a husband because I'm fat, that person was rude to me because I'm fat...and on and on. I'm like ENOUGH already!!! Also, I am NOT jealous of the way they eat. I have grown beyond processed and fried foods. Can I eat it if I want to? Of course! But I have no desire to put that "garbage" in my body any longer.

PP have you ever been overweight (20+ lbs?) It seems so simple unless you have been there. It's a vicious cycle of food, endorphins, fatigue and psychology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say because I think all fat people I know are lazy and have all types of excuses for not working out. I don't understand how anyone wants to stay fat. I have a friend that has gain lots of weight over the last years and now can't bend down to tie his shoes (he pulls his leg up with the pants and has to tie shoe on the side), but is always talking about going to the gym and never does (no wife or kids, only himself). I have another friend who alsways talks about losing weight and then we go out to eat and she gets mounds of pancakes and asks for extra butter, etc. It's disgusting to watch them gorge themselves with food and I hate being at restaurants with them. Very few of the fat people I know have some sort of hormone or metabolic issue.

Ok. There are two things going on here. One is that you lack empathy. Fat people know they are fat and don't want to stay fat. If you haven't ever been overweight perhaps it seems ridiculous, but it isn't. It is incredibly hard to be fat and then lose weight. There are all sorts of factors at play besides effort. (Among them, psychology, nutrition, chemical changes, behavioral changes etc.)

The other is: So what? Why does their being fat piss you off? Lots of people do things differently from you and you let it slide. Why not weight?

PP here. It wouldn't bother me so much if they would stop talking about how they want to lose weight as they are eating a bag of chips. Both of my friends that I referenced are some of the nicest most generous people that I know and I enjoy being friends with them. It's just I get tired of always hearing how they want to lose wright but NEVER do anything towards that "goal". Fine, you like being fat, I don't care but stop with the pity party. My female friend always thinks she is being discriminated against because she's fat. It's like...no one wants to be my friend because I'm fat, I didn't get the job because I'm fat, I can't get a husband because I'm fat, that person was rude to me because I'm fat...and on and on. I'm like ENOUGH already!!! Also, I am NOT jealous of the way they eat. I have grown beyond processed and fried foods. Can I eat it if I want to? Of course! But I have no desire to put that "garbage" in my body any longer.

PP have you ever been overweight (20+ lbs?) It seems so simple unless you have been there. It's a vicious cycle of food, endorphins, fatigue and psychology.

PP here. Most ppl would not have considered me "fat" but at 5'2 I was 137 lbs (which is what my final weight was when I delivered DD 14 years ago!!) I had lost that weight (got down to 104lbs when DD was 3 mos)but the last 6 years the weight crept up because I now have a desk job. About 12 months ago I decided I was going to start eating more healthy and exercising. I'm now down to 110lbs. So I know that it can be done, and like I said both of my friends do not have physical injuries or anything metabolic going on.