How soon did you let your child have overnight visits?

[Anonymous]

6 weeks seems crazy but so does 6 years. I think a year seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was little, the first time I left her with my mom was at 6 months.

As a grandmother, I have had my grandkids sleep over starting very young. And then I traveled with them too, to take them to visit their great grandparents. The older child's first visit out of state was when she was 4 months old, and the younger child's first out of state visit was when he was about 6 months old. Both did fine and travel with me all the time to see their great grandparents and their mom has no issue whatsoever with allowing me to take either child, whether together or separately

Wow, you must have been a young mother. Your children must also be young parents. I don't know very many people who actually have greats anymore.

The young ages of parenting may play a role in this for you and yours. Honestly, it sounds sweet and kind of old fashioned. I don't know anyone IRL who would allow the access and traveling that you describe having with your grandchildren. Not in this day and age and not in a large city.

+1. I don't know anyone with a great grandparent.

My dd has a great grand parent. I had her when I was 30, my mom had me when she was 27. Not unheard of...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was little, the first time I left her with my mom was at 6 months.

As a grandmother, I have had my grandkids sleep over starting very young. And then I traveled with them too, to take them to visit their great grandparents. The older child's first visit out of state was when she was 4 months old, and the younger child's first out of state visit was when he was about 6 months old. Both did fine and travel with me all the time to see their great grandparents and their mom has no issue whatsoever with allowing me to take either child, whether together or separately

Wow, you must have been a young mother. Your children must also be young parents. I don't know very many people who actually have greats anymore.

The young ages of parenting may play a role in this for you and yours. Honestly, it sounds sweet and kind of old fashioned. I don't know anyone IRL who would allow the access and traveling that you describe having with your grandchildren. Not in this day and age and not in a large city.

+1. I don't know anyone with a great grandparent.

If I had had a child at the age of 32 my child would have had a great grandparent. And my mom didn't have me until she herself was 32. It's the baby's GGP not the mom's. Not that crazy.

[Anonymous]

I get its the baby's greats but she made it sound like they were around even when the kids were much older. They traveled to see the greats " all the time."

You dont have to have babies in your 40s for them to not have greats into childhood. My grandmother was alive when DS was born but died a year later. She was 90. She had my mom at 27. Mom had me at 30. I had DS at 32. DH's grandmothers both died in their 70s, before our first child was born. His grandad died when our youngest was 2. My 2 living greats died when I was an infant and then when I was 8 (that one from Dads side was well into her 90s). Lets not forget the average life span is still under 80.

Also, this poster we are discussing was talking about her daughter's children. There are many things I would let my mom do that MIL could only dream about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was little, the first time I left her with my mom was at 6 months.

As a grandmother, I have had my grandkids sleep over starting very young. And then I traveled with them too, to take them to visit their great grandparents. The older child's first visit out of state was when she was 4 months old, and the younger child's first out of state visit was when he was about 6 months old. Both did fine and travel with me all the time to see their great grandparents and their mom has no issue whatsoever with allowing me to take either child, whether together or separately

Wow, you must have been a young mother. Your children must also be young parents. I don't know very many people who actually have greats anymore.

The young ages of parenting may play a role in this for you and yours. Honestly, it sounds sweet and kind of old fashioned. I don't know anyone IRL who would allow the access and traveling that you describe having with your grandchildren. Not in this day and age and not in a large city.

Our 9 month old stayed with my parents for four days -went smoothly despite my exclusively breastfeeding. She's gone on to spend up to two weeks at a time including trips to California, Colorado, and Tennessee. DD loves my parents so much and it's wonderful to see their relationship (she's the first grandchild by the way). And no, I am not a "young mother."

[Anonymous]

6 weeks is insane! Maybe in 6 months, a year, 18 months, or whenever you feel comfortable, your MIL could stay at your place for a night or two and you and your DH can have a little getaway away. We did this with my mom at 12 months and it was great. I worried less because all of his stuff was here, I didn't have to worry about bringing the right number of bottles/clothes/toys etc. I don't think I'll be ready to send him away for a weekend for quite a while, and who knows if I'll ever feel comfortable with MIL instead of my mom.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot depends on whether your are breastfeeding and how comfortable you are with the person who will care for the child while you are away.

I left my firstborn at my house with my mom for three nights at three months old to attend a wedding out of town. I also left a freezer full of breast milk and pumped while I was away. I was still hormonal from breastfeeding, so the thought of leaving her overnight made me sad until I got caught up in wedding festivities, but I knew it would be a mistake to bring her on the trip and it was important to my husband to have me there with him. I also knew the baby would be fine because she was accustomed to having some feedings from a bottle and because she had already spent considerable time with my mom, who stayed with us for the first month after the baby arrived. I also knew my mom would follow my parenting style.

I then left her overnight at my MIL's house for two nights for another wedding when she was eight months old. I wasn't quite as comfortable with my MIL as I was with my mom, because I hadn't seen her in action with the baby for any length of time. But I told myself that she did a great job with my husband and I knew the baby would be okay because she was used to being away from me at that point while I worked.

OP, maybe you could compromise and have your MIL spend a night with the baby at your house in familiar surroundings while you and DH go off somewhere. She could even do a practice night beforehand with you at home making sure all is well. Also, keep in mind that the separation will be harder for you than for your baby, especially if you are BFing. Studies have shown that young babies do just fine away from the primary caregiver as long as their basic needs for snuggling, milk, etc. are being met. The distress at being away from the primary caregiver comes later.

[Anonymous]

PP again. Forgot to mention that even I think six weeks is too early unless there is some urgent need for you to be away from the baby. Besides, does your MIL have any idea what it means to be awakened all night by a newborn? Wait until about three months, by which time the baby will probably be sleeping for at least five hours through the night.

[Anonymous]

DH is a local with a tight extended family. Our kids have had sleepovers with their cousins beginning around 16 months. (The kids now rotate most Friday nights so that each household gets at least one kid-free night out a month). But before that SiLs & MiL would watch them overnight so we could have a night and morning on the town (maybe it's a latin thing). That being said 6 weeks is far too young. She can come over and watch your DC so you can go out for dinner but taking a newborn for the weekend is insane.

[Anonymous]

When you're comfortable. I'm pretty laid back, and I waited till 6 months, and even then it was only because we had a wedding to go to.

You're the mom, your rules. 6 weeks is ridiculous. Especially while you're still on maternity leave and you have no reason to leave him at all if you don't want to.

[Anonymous]

6 weeks and 6 yrs both sound crazy. Do it when you're comfortable. Who knows? In another 6 months - 1 yr you and DH might want to go on a baby-free weekend trip and you'll be happy MIL wants to take DC overnight.

[Anonymous]

DS #1 was FF (I was stuck in the hospital for a month so BFing out). He spent the night with my mom when he was 14 months and we were moving and decided it would be an easier transition for him if we got everything moved and his room set up for him. Wasn't ideal, and at 4yo, that's the only time he has spent the night away. DS #2 is BF and 6 months old right now and I can't see him spending the night away for awhile either. Relatives that want to help are welcome to come stay with us and do baby/toddler/preschooler duty overnight (and many of them have!). We're still there if there is an emergency, but able to get some extra rest we wouldn't get otherwise. With #1,I was very sick and unable to care for him alone for almost three months so we constantly had relatives caring for him...but in our home. Even with that situation, we wouldn't have had him go stay overnight anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

I left DD with my Mom overnight at 4 weeks (we were all at a wedding and next door in the hotel rooms) and again at 9 weeks. Both times were just for an overnight. I'd not leave her for more than an overnight and probably would not leave her with my in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if anyone else saw this but this OP is the same as the OP in the SIL overreacting thread. Who knows who she really is.

[Anonymous]

I went to a work conference at 8 months, my H stayed home with the baby and my mom who was our live in caretaker at the time. We both went away at 9 months. A little different since my mom was living with us full time and the baby didn't have to go somewhere else to spend the night. 6 weeks is way too earl imho. Your H needs to grow a pair.