Beach week -- would you/did you let your HS senior do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They aren't adults, either. Eighteen and a diploma doesn't make one adult. They aren't truly adults until they pay their own way. These are for the most part immature kids with the mistaken idea that they are magically adults.

So if they can't pay their own way till 26,they aren't adults? In the eyes of the law they are adults. You have no rights to any information about them unless they sign a form such as releasing their college grades. They can also be drafted.

[Anonymous]

Meant if a draft is ever implemented.

[Anonymous]

I'm still not buying the distinction between beach week and the first semester of college. You really think your kid is going to arrive on campus and suddenly know how to balance studying with partying, when he's never been on his own for 10 minutes before?

I maintain that beach week is a teachable moment. Talk about the risks, let him go, then talk about the reality.

[Anonymous]

If they're adults, then they can pay their own way.

[Anonymous]

A 26 year old still being support by mommy and daddy is not an "adult".

[Anonymous]

My friend's son just went to the beach for spring break with his friends. One of his friend's parents drove them and stayed nearby. None of the boys seemed to mind, and the parents were surprised that the boys actually chose to hang out with them quite a bit. and these boys are the "popular jocks" too.

[Anonymous]

Rotate different parents to go up and stay with them or nearby in two or three days shifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 26 year old still being support by mommy and daddy is not an "adult".

A 26-year old still being supported by mommy and daddy is either severely disabled or a total loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm still not buying the distinction between beach week and the first semester of college. You really think your kid is going to arrive on campus and suddenly know how to balance studying with partying, when he's never been on his own for 10 minutes before?

I maintain that beach week is a teachable moment. Talk about the risks, let him go, then talk about the reality.

In one environment, the young adult has commitments to keep, and must live on a college budget. The other, the young adult does not and, presumably, is getting heavily subsodized by the parents. Also, while there is obviously a lot of partying at college, the point of a beach week without the 'rents is to throw down. I'm not saying it's like comparing a night club to an orgy, but there's a similarity there.

OP, you may not be able to forbid an adult child from doing anything, but you definitely don't have to bless or finance an (illegal) booze fest.

Also, and I can't stress this enough to those who are remembering their high school/pre-college benders fondly from days of yore: smart phones and YouTube.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 26 year old still being support by mommy and daddy is not an "adult".

A 26-year old still being supported by mommy and daddy is either severely disabled or a total loser.

Or, you know, the economy collapsed when he graduated college. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they're adults, then they can pay their own way.

I paid my own way. Arranged the house rental, worried about the deposit we'd lose if anything happened to the property. Had my car break down on the way, called a tow truck and got it repaired, and while I did charge the $300 repair on the emergency credit card my parents gave me, I did pay them back afterward. I think making the kid pay a significant portion (if not all) of the cost is the only way to go here. Nobody in real life gets to go on a totally free solo vacation. Why should they? Make it hurt the pocket a bit beyond their regular entertainment funds. They will appreciate it more and act more responsibly. Not 100% I'm sure, but better than if they had nothing to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they're adults, then they can pay their own way.

I paid my own way. Arranged the house rental, worried about the deposit we'd lose if anything happened to the property. Had my car break down on the way, called a tow truck and got it repaired, and while I did charge the $300 repair on the emergency credit card my parents gave me, I did pay them back afterward. I think making the kid pay a significant portion (if not all) of the cost is the only way to go here. Nobody in real life gets to go on a totally free solo vacation. Why should they? Make it hurt the pocket a bit beyond their regular entertainment funds. They will appreciate it more and act more responsibly. Not 100% I'm sure, but better than if they had nothing to lose.

I'd also be extremely careful about co-signing the lease (I wouldn't, actually).

[Anonymous]

I'm not from around here, so didn't participate in a beach week. Did parents 30 years ago object too? Or, was it a given. I don't know anyone from here that didn't go.

Are parents today less likely to let their own kids go b/c they know what goes on? Will this tradition die out as more parents object? Maybe I won't have to worry about making the decision in 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not from around here, so didn't participate in a beach week. Did parents 30 years ago object too? Or, was it a given. I don't know anyone from here that didn't go.

Are parents today less likely to let their own kids go b/c they know what goes on? Will this tradition die out as more parents object? Maybe I won't have to worry about making the decision in 15 years.

30 years ago we went to Ocean City. Kids today go to the Outer Banks, Florida, the Islands. I'd allow an Eastern Shore trip, but not something else so far away. I think parents taking a bunch of kids is a big trend too, and I think that's a great option as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not from around here, so didn't participate in a beach week. Did parents 30 years ago object too? Or, was it a given. I don't know anyone from here that didn't go.

Are parents today less likely to let their own kids go b/c they know what goes on? Will this tradition die out as more parents object? Maybe I won't have to worry about making the decision in 15 years.

I graduated from high school 30 years ago, and the drinking age at that time was 18. I was not 18 quite at that point, but all of my friends were. They had been going to bars on a regular basis before graduation, so it was kind of different than today when you have to be 21 to buy or possess alcohol. My parents let me go to beach week, not understanding what the whole thing was about, but my friends and I honestly did nothing that we didn't already do at home (and that did involve a lot of drinking and drug use by some). A few people from my h.s. (boys) got arrested and some thrown out of their hotel. But when we went to the beach, most of the kids couldn't have been arrested just for possession of alcohol, unlike the graduates of today who are all underage.

The parents of h.s. graduates that I am friends with have not let their kids go to beach week, because they knew that it was an all-week party and had heard of too many kids getting hurt or arrested.