Parents of Private High School Graduates – was it worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP..where are your dyslexic kids happy? Thanks!

I hate to say outright because there is some crazy lady on this board that hates our school and the threads get high jacked. I will give you a list of schools that do well with dyslexic kids...

Bullis, st. Andrews, Paul vi, good counsel, st. Johns, the heights, McNamara, damatha, Polotti, Landon

Good luck in your search.

I also know happy dyslexic kids at Sidwell, GDS, Burke, and Field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

I deal with a lot of high school boys. With VERY few exceptions, Boys near graduation from a private high school will look you in the eye, act graciously and at ease among adults. There are such boys among public high schools too, but the majority are likely to stare at their shoe laces and shy away from adults. I'm sure that boys act differently among their peers, but I've observed this pattern across many schools for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

I deal with a lot of high school boys. With VERY few exceptions, Boys near graduation from a private high school will look you in the eye, act graciously and at ease among adults. There are such boys among public high schools too, but the majority are likely to stare at their shoe laces and shy away from adults. I'm sure that boys act differently among their peers, but I've observed this pattern across many schools for years.

Bizarre. Not my experience at all with private and public school kids. Probably more connected with SES regardless of type of school attended. Maybe a low SES kid would get more "polish" in a private school than a low performing public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

I deal with a lot of high school boys. With VERY few exceptions, Boys near graduation from a private high school will look you in the eye, act graciously and at ease among adults. There are such boys among public high schools too, but the majority are likely to stare at their shoe laces and shy away from adults. I'm sure that boys act differently among their peers, but I've observed this pattern across many schools for years.

Bizarre. Not my experience at all with private and public school kids. Probably more connected with SES regardless of type of school attended. Maybe a low SES kid would get more "polish" in a private school than a low performing public school?

I'm pretty ready to discount the "public school kids stare at their shoes" poster. I could supply my own anecdotes that go in the opposite direction, and for bonus points I could throw in adjectives like "cocky" and "snotty" for the private school kids. But that seems mean and stupid, and it's supported only by my own anecdotes instead of actual facts. The "stare at their shoes poster" really seems like someone who is predisposed to think what s/he needs to think about her $30K/year education investment, and disregard any opposing evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10 years of private school (about 300K) - high school was worth it. MAYBE middle school. Elementary, not worth it.

Knowing what I know now, I'd wait for high school.

Feel the same way about our experience in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

I deal with a lot of high school boys. With VERY few exceptions, Boys near graduation from a private high school will look you in the eye, act graciously and at ease among adults. There are such boys among public high schools too, but the majority are likely to stare at their shoe laces and shy away from adults. I'm sure that boys act differently among their peers, but I've observed this pattern across many schools for years.

Bizarre. Not my experience at all with private and public school kids. Probably more connected with SES regardless of type of school attended. Maybe a low SES kid would get more "polish" in a private school than a low performing public school?

I'm pretty ready to discount the "public school kids stare at their shoes" poster. I could supply my own anecdotes that go in the opposite direction, and for bonus points I could throw in adjectives like "cocky" and "snotty" for the private school kids. But that seems mean and stupid, and it's supported only by my own anecdotes instead of actual facts. The "stare at their shoes poster" really seems like someone who is predisposed to think what s/he needs to think about her $30K/year education investment, and disregard any opposing evidence.

Everyone has had their own experience from which their perceptions are formed, but, I must say, that in my experience the cocky kids aren't the ones starring at their shoe laces - so when someone suggests that private school kids are both, I discount that as being defensive. I'd say private school kids are far more confident and self assured on AVERAGE and it doesn't surprise me that some read that as "cocky" and "snotty." In my experience all sorts of folks use the word "cocky," but "snotty" is almost always used by people referring to others of higher SES - so I think that is a big factor here. Again, though, I can only speak from my experience - results may vary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

I deal with a lot of high school boys. With VERY few exceptions, Boys near graduation from a private high school will look you in the eye, act graciously and at ease among adults. There are such boys among public high schools too, but the majority are likely to stare at their shoe laces and shy away from adults. I'm sure that boys act differently among their peers, but I've observed this pattern across many schools for years.

Bizarre. Not my experience at all with private and public school kids. Probably more connected with SES regardless of type of school attended. Maybe a low SES kid would get more "polish" in a private school than a low performing public school?

I'm pretty ready to discount the "public school kids stare at their shoes" poster. I could supply my own anecdotes that go in the opposite direction, and for bonus points I could throw in adjectives like "cocky" and "snotty" for the private school kids. But that seems mean and stupid, and it's supported only by my own anecdotes instead of actual facts. The "stare at their shoes poster" really seems like someone who is predisposed to think what s/he needs to think about her $30K/year education investment, and disregard any opposing evidence.

Everyone has had their own experience from which their perceptions are formed, but, I must say, that in my experience the cocky kids aren't the ones starring at their shoe laces - so when someone suggests that private school kids are both, I discount that as being defensive. I'd say private school kids are far more confident and self assured on AVERAGE and it doesn't surprise me that some read that as "cocky" and "snotty." In my experience all sorts of folks use the word "cocky," but "snotty" is almost always used by people referring to others of higher SES - so I think that is a big factor here. Again, though, I can only speak from my experience - results may vary.

Good grief. One poster said that public school kids stare at their shoelaces, a different poster said that she "could but wouldn't" say that private school kids are cocky or snotty. Nobody ever said that private school kids were both shoelace-starers and cocky at the same time. In fact, this whole thing started out with a stab at public school kids (the alleged shoelace-starers, and the only ones to be charged with this by some weird poster).

But we also need to set the record straight on a different matter: "cockiness" actually exists, and it is not purely the product of imaginations fired by SES jealousy.

Not going to weigh in either way, only to say that DCUM astounds me sometimes....

[Anonymous]

"cockiness" surely exists, but it may also be read as confidence. Just as "shyness" can be read as humility. Everyone has their own standards - which often are revealing of one's own self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: "cockiness" surely exists, but it may also be read as confidence. Just as "shyness" can be read as humility. Everyone has their own standards - which often are revealing of one's own self esteem.

Cockiness and confidence are not the same thing. Shyness and humility are not the same thing. You can even find a humble and confident kid, who is neither shy nor cocky. I find these broad-brush smears of public and private school kids ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of how many high boys (or girls) someone “deals with,” there is no one on this board who had personal interactions with even 1% of the high schools kids in this area, so any generalizations are based on a very small sample size. I doubt anyone would simple lie about their interactions, but we should be careful not to confuse our limited observations with reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

Hahaha Have you never met anyone with polish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted to the Top 25 school of his dreams. He would not have been if he had gone to our top rated MOCO public schools.

For me it was worth it. There is nothing I'd rather invest money in than my children.

As for other other benefits? I think the social skills and polish are a real plus.

Lessons? Be prepared for a commitment of time (in addition to $). - private school parents are VERY active in their schools.

What is this polish of which you speak? I ask this seriously. I think there's a good argument to be made that public school kids learn how to deal with a broader range of kids and also to advocate for themselves. The word "polish" suggests ineffable qualities like knowing how to wear rumpled khakis and to butter your bread a bite at a time rather than paving it. But I know you must mean more than these, and I'd be curious to hear your explanation of what "polish" private schools provide.

Hahaha Have you never met anyone with polish?

Hahahah yes, as the descendent of Mayflower passengers, I most certainly have. My question was directed at the first PP, not you, because I was curious to know what *she* thinks private schools provide in the way of polish. I know how to butter my own bread very correctly, thanks for asking, and I'll teach my own kids no matter whether they do public or private. Polish comes from your family -- looks like you're SOL!

[Anonymous]

Oooh, I need to add something just for you, 18:12. In your case, by which I mean the case of a nouveau riche who is just now patting himself on the back for bumping his DC into a 2nd tier private, thinking he's finally "arrived".... Your kid might just learn some "polish" from his friends that you yourself are unable to impart.

Your kid will learn from his new friends in private school which imported beer to drink, where to buy his khakis, where to vacation, and much more. These are things you're undoubtedly incapable of teaching him yourself, poor you.

For the rest of us, of course, we learn these things from the cradle, in the bosom of our old money families. Public or private school is irrelevant for this. We don't rely on someone else's kids to tell our kids what "polish" means.

Ta ta!

[Anonymous]

"old money families of the DC public schools" - that just might win the prize for the title of the world's shortest book

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"old money families of the DC public schools" - that just might win the prize for the title of the world's shortest book

Not DC public schools. Your ability to make incorrect assumptions might contribute to the world's longest book.