When did you realize that it was time to quit and stay home to raise your family?

[Anonymous]

I stopped when my second son was hospitalized for the third time in 8 months due to respiratory issues.

I was about to go back when second son was in "fulltime" school and we discovered significant learning issues for both DC's (for second son probably related to first hospitalization). So, I have stayed at home making sure they will get to college and become productive independent members of society. Still have 5 more years to go.

Don't hurt yourself polishing your pretend halo.

Many many parents have children with significant needs and all of us are dedicated to ensuring our children become independent members of society. Nothing about you is original and the tin ear you have to your own privilege is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I stopped when my second son was hospitalized for the third time in 8 months due to respiratory issues.

I was about to go back when second son was in "fulltime" school and we discovered significant learning issues for both DC's (for second son probably related to first hospitalization). So, I have stayed at home making sure they will get to college and become productive independent members of society. Still have 5 more years to go.

Don't hurt yourself polishing your pretend halo.

Many many parents have children with significant needs and all of us are dedicated to ensuring our children become independent members of society. Nothing about you is original and the tin ear you have to your own privilege is obnoxious.

Why are you so unhappy? Nothing in PP's post warranted this response. Get off DCUM and hug your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. Been working full time for 13.5 years since becoming a mom.

Who took care of your child?

If you knew I was a dad, would you ask me that or would you assume my wife was the caretaker?

[Anonymous]

Unless money was a necessity, I would never work 60 hours a week. 40 is my max, but I work about 37.5 now. 30 hours/week would be ideal.

[Anonymous]

Stepping out of the labor market is your choice. It is not an inevitable event just waiting to happen as in " I just woke up today and realized my predetermined time in the workforce has come to an end". If you want to quit, for whatever reason, then do so and own your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I stopped when my second son was hospitalized for the third time in 8 months due to respiratory issues.

I was about to go back when second son was in "fulltime" school and we discovered significant learning issues for both DC's (for second son probably related to first hospitalization). So, I have stayed at home making sure they will get to college and become productive independent members of society. Still have 5 more years to go.

Don't hurt yourself polishing your pretend halo.

Many many parents have children with significant needs and all of us are dedicated to ensuring our children become independent members of society. Nothing about you is original and the tin ear you have to your own privilege is obnoxious.

Why so defensive? Everyone has the make the best decision they can with the choices they have available to them. Just because I chose to sah, doesn't mean I have a halo, it just means that is the way *my* family figured things out. We have quite a few "blessings", but we also have quite a few challenges- just like most people.

[Anonymous]

If you SAH and don't build up experience or skills prior to this (or masters)- well- over 50% divorce rate, what if DH loses his job, what if DH has an injury that impacts his work? I view this as a partnership- we want our kids to go to college, we're not in the stratosphere or $$ - just mainstream (public school, no country club, no second home or rich family).

[Anonymous]

When did I realize it was time to quit and SAH?
After years of IF and I finally got pregnant?

When did I realize this was a mistake?
When I got divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. Been working full time for 13.5 years since becoming a mom.

Who took care of your child?

If you knew I was a dad, would you ask me that or would you assume my wife was the caretaker?

If you are a dad posting that response on this topic then grow a pair. If you are not a dad then stop trying so hard to be one. You are not a man-deal with it. If you are a man, you need to reevaluate your life.

-not pp

[Anonymous]

Stepping out of the labor market is your choice. It is not an inevitable event just waiting to happen as in " I just woke up today and realized my predetermined time in the workforce has come to an end". If you want to quit, for whatever reason, then do so and own your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. Been working full time for 13.5 years since becoming a mom.

Who took care of your child?

If you knew I was a dad, would you ask me that or would you assume my wife was the caretaker?

If you are a dad posting that response on this topic then grow a pair. If you are not a dad then stop trying so hard to be one. You are not a man-deal with it. If you are a man, you need to reevaluate your life.

-not pp

We used childcare while we worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a great part-time job which I love. I've been working part-time for over 5 years. Now second is off to Kindergarten this Fall and I thought I could continue to work part-time and be home for kids by 3pm after school. Not the case... my company is doubling in size and they said they want me to go full-time which would be 60 hours a week. I said I could do 35 maximum. Although I love it here and what I do, I think its time to go.

When did you know it was time to leave? And were you happy with your decision if you decided to stay home even after your kids were in school? I'd love to find something else part-time but its tough.

OP, it sounds like you did not really "realize it was time to quit and stay home." Rather you are choosing between two non-ideal options because the best option--remaining part time at the job you love--is no longer available to you at your current company. I'm not saying you're making the wrong choice given the options in front of you, but (jumping on soapbox) this is a lot of the problem with how our economy and working lives are structured. The lack of flexible and part-time jobs mean families don't have the ability to choose the rational-work-schedule option that's really best for them. So faced with the choice of working an unreasonably large number of hours or quitting, a lot of women (and a lot fewer men) "choose" to quit--but it's not really a free "choice."

I'm lucky enough to be working full time in a job that allows me to usually leave work at 4:15 (with some work in the evenings after the kids go to bed). My husband's hours are longer, which is too bad, but it's working OK for now.

I totally agree with this. I think if you really like your job, then they should WANT to work with you to keep you if they can. You have years of experience, know the organization, etc. And if you go to them to say you really want to stay and find a way to work something out, I would have to believe they'd be impressed enough with your commitment and drive to want to have that conversation with you.

This was always my experience. Now I am planning to go back and hope I can find something.