When did you realize that it was time to quit and stay home to raise your family?

[Anonymous]

I have a great part-time job which I love. I've been working part-time for over 5 years. Now second is off to Kindergarten this Fall and I thought I could continue to work part-time and be home for kids by 3pm after school. Not the case... my company is doubling in size and they said they want me to go full-time which would be 60 hours a week. I said I could do 35 maximum. Although I love it here and what I do, I think its time to go.

When did you know it was time to leave? And were you happy with your decision if you decided to stay home even after your kids were in school? I'd love to find something else part-time but its tough.

[Anonymous]

I would try to buy some time with your company. Accept the FT job and see how it pans out - maybe with the doubling of the company the hours will be less than you expect. Another strategy is to accept the FT job but try to negotiate a date for going FT as far in the future as you can. They might agree to a date three or four months out, and it would buy you a few extra months to search. Of course, ramp up your job search.

I am not opposed to staying home, and I have done it, but you are at a point where working (at least PT) makes a fair amount of sense, and I would make the decision actively rather than having it made for you by your job. There are some PT jobs out there. It is not impossible, and you are a more attractive candidate while currently employed. Stick it out for a little while and see what happens!

[Anonymous]

Most women should not be in the traditional workforce, especially if they have kids. However I agree with PP. Keep your options open until you have some options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce, especially if they have kids. However I agree with PP. Keep your options open until you have some options.

Just fucking stop already.

[Anonymous]

I broke a molar and had to get a root canal. I was grinding my teeth in my sleep because I was so stressed out. I did the full time WOHM thing for 10+ years, but I got to done. I'm working part-time now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce.

Please, elaborate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce.

Please, elaborate.

Or you know, don't. Since that is your opinion and stating it was a deliberately provocative attempt to start yet another SAHM/WOHM debate. It's 2013. Women have choices. Get the fuck over it already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce.

Please, elaborate.

Or you know, don't. Since that is your opinion and stating it was a deliberately provocative attempt to start yet another SAHM/WOHM debate. It's 2013. Women have choices. Get the fuck over it already.

You are so simple minded. Get a clue and expand your vocabulary. This is one reason why women should not be in charge of large corporations- too emotional and irrational. You lack critical thinking skills because you are hormone driven.

If you can admit this, then you have a better chance of managing the situation. But if you cannot, then you don't need to manage anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce.

Please, elaborate.

Or you know, don't. Since that is your opinion and stating it was a deliberately provocative attempt to start yet another SAHM/WOHM debate. It's 2013. Women have choices. Get the fuck over it already.

You are so simple minded. Get a clue and expand your vocabulary. This is one reason why women should not be in charge of large corporations- too emotional and irrational. You lack critical thinking skills because you are hormone driven.

If you can admit this, then you have a better chance of managing the situation. But if you cannot, then you don't need to manage anything.

I have a pretty expansive vocabulary and a very good education, not to mention a professional job where I am in charge of a department. AND I'm a mom. AND my husband and I are happily married. I use the words that are appropriate. Defensive much? What is your purpose for being on this thread? Do you think the drivel you are writing here is actually helpful to OP? Here's a clue - it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a great part-time job which I love. I've been working part-time for over 5 years. Now second is off to Kindergarten this Fall and I thought I could continue to work part-time and be home for kids by 3pm after school. Not the case... my company is doubling in size and they said they want me to go full-time which would be 60 hours a week. I said I could do 35 maximum. Although I love it here and what I do, I think its time to go.

When did you know it was time to leave? And were you happy with your decision if you decided to stay home even after your kids were in school? I'd love to find something else part-time but its tough.

OP, it sounds like you did not really "realize it was time to quit and stay home." Rather you are choosing between two non-ideal options because the best option--remaining part time at the job you love--is no longer available to you at your current company. I'm not saying you're making the wrong choice given the options in front of you, but (jumping on soapbox) this is a lot of the problem with how our economy and working lives are structured. The lack of flexible and part-time jobs mean families don't have the ability to choose the rational-work-schedule option that's really best for them. So faced with the choice of working an unreasonably large number of hours or quitting, a lot of women (and a lot fewer men) "choose" to quit--but it's not really a free "choice."

I'm lucky enough to be working full time in a job that allows me to usually leave work at 4:15 (with some work in the evenings after the kids go to bed). My husband's hours are longer, which is too bad, but it's working OK for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a great part-time job which I love. I've been working part-time for over 5 years. Now second is off to Kindergarten this Fall and I thought I could continue to work part-time and be home for kids by 3pm after school. Not the case... my company is doubling in size and they said they want me to go full-time which would be 60 hours a week. I said I could do 35 maximum. Although I love it here and what I do, I think its time to go.

When did you know it was time to leave? And were you happy with your decision if you decided to stay home even after your kids were in school? I'd love to find something else part-time but its tough.

OP, it sounds like you did not really "realize it was time to quit and stay home." Rather you are choosing between two non-ideal options because the best option--remaining part time at the job you love--is no longer available to you at your current company. I'm not saying you're making the wrong choice given the options in front of you, but (jumping on soapbox) this is a lot of the problem with how our economy and working lives are structured. The lack of flexible and part-time jobs mean families don't have the ability to choose the rational-work-schedule option that's really best for them. So faced with the choice of working an unreasonably large number of hours or quitting, a lot of women (and a lot fewer men) "choose" to quit--but it's not really a free "choice."

I'm lucky enough to be working full time in a job that allows me to usually leave work at 4:15 (with some work in the evenings after the kids go to bed). My husband's hours are longer, which is too bad, but it's working OK for now.

I totally agree with this. I think if you really like your job, then they should WANT to work with you to keep you if they can. You have years of experience, know the organization, etc. And if you go to them to say you really want to stay and find a way to work something out, I would have to believe they'd be impressed enough with your commitment and drive to want to have that conversation with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce, especially if they have kids. However I agree with PP. Keep your options open until you have some options.

At least pretend not be a troll, it's more fun that way. Quote or, better yet, make up some statistics to back up this claim. We all know this thread will end in flames (don't they all?). See you under the bridge! That third billy goat is all yours, by the way. No, really, I insist.

[Anonymous]

I stopped when my second son was hospitalized for the third time in 8 months due to respiratory issues.

I was about to go back when second son was in "fulltime" school and we discovered significant learning issues for both DC's (for second son probably related to first hospitalization). So, I have stayed at home making sure they will get to college and become productive independent members of society. Still have 5 more years to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a great part-time job which I love. I've been working part-time for over 5 years. Now second is off to Kindergarten this Fall and I thought I could continue to work part-time and be home for kids by 3pm after school. Not the case... my company is doubling in size and they said they want me to go full-time which would be 60 hours a week. I said I could do 35 maximum. Although I love it here and what I do, I think its time to go.

When did you know it was time to leave? And were you happy with your decision if you decided to stay home even after your kids were in school? I'd love to find something else part-time but its tough.

Where I come from, full time is 40 hours per week. To me, 35-40 would be a reasonable compromise. If you do 60 hours per week, when would you see your kids? I really think what your employer is asking for is out of line. Any thought on approaching them about a job share? Essentially make the position into (2) 30 hour a week positions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women should not be in the traditional workforce, especially if they have kids. However I agree with PP. Keep your options open until you have some options.

Just fucking stop already.

Took the words right out of my mouth.