Ferber method at 9 weeks?

[Anonymous]

This is the PP/19:16, pediatric nurse- What I did with my two children:
I had been working Children's Hospital, Boston for over 10 years when I delivered my daughter next door at the Brigham and Women's Hospital. In those days, people like Berry Brazelton and Richard Ferber roamed the pediatric units and shared their expertise with the nursing and medical staff. These guys were on a first name basis with many of us and I remember asking a lot of questions before my daughter was born. Probably because we worked with Ferber, many of us did try his method but most of us modified it. I began trying the method half-heartedly at about 6 months. At eight to nine months, I used the guidelines but to a bit gentler degree. It worked like a charm but she seemed relieved to be sleeping more, so we felt alright about it. Fast-forward 2 years, and we have a son. He is nothing like my daughter in personality and we could never have Ferberized him. He was a shy baby who I could just tell would break under the Ferber method. My daughter would throw everything out of her crib, scream at the top of her lungs and would not let up until one of us stayed with her. My son was just a different type. So, to make a short story longer, this has been my anecdotal experience with helping many families get their child to sleep-
No one knows your child better than you. Find the sweet spots for relaxation in your child. I learned a lot of newborn massage at the hospital and I swear I can get many babies sleeping just by light massage. If you choose to use a sleep method such as Ferber's, you can break the rules. Richard Ferber used to recommend individualizing the plan. I would not start before 5-6 months and again, know your baby. If your child has a soiled diaper or is truly hungry or needs a little love, it would be awful to inore those pleas. VERY IMPORTANT- Partners must both be on board with the program! I would sit down with the book and make a plan for how you will go about it. Nothing is worse than trying to implement a sleep strategy at 3am, on a wing and a prayer. If you are truly committed, and this is not for the faint of heart, stick with your plan. If the results do not appear to be positive in the first 3-4 days, you made need to try again in a month.
Lastly, I cannot emphasize enough how alternative sleep methods can work. Have you ever gotten down close to a baby's face and spoken in a soft, high-pitched voice with a pleasant look on your face? Any baby old enough will immediatly smile. Just as that works, try lightly pressing in circles on the back of the calves, the shoulders and then use fingertip massage on the little arms. Do this same thing for naps and bedtime. You can also find the part of your child's face, head or tummy that responds to your light touch. Make up a pattern such as running your fingers from the forehead up a bit through the hairline, over and over. Babies love predictability and patterns. These are just a few ideas.
Okay, I've gone on and on and I'm sorry. All of you new parents, get some sleep!

[Anonymous]

PP here. Sorry for the typos. I'm helping with homework and typing at the same time. Take care.

[Anonymous]

OP - so what exactly did your ped. say? Are you sure he/she suggested Ferber or is that what was implied?

Just curious what exactly our ped. said to you? I assume you didn't ask him/her at the time that you were concerned that Ferber was too early?

[Anonymous]

Following up on the op's question: My ped just told me to try to drop the 3 am bm feeding with my 8 week old to try to get her to sleep from 1pm-6 pm. Not cio, using pacifier and soothing but not food. She's 10 lbs 6 oz and isn't sleeping more than 2 1/2 hours at night, even shorter naps during the day.

Are you all saying ANY sleep training at this age is wrong, or just CIO? I'm just trying to get one 5 hour sleep, not even a full night by adult standards.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

if your baby cries when you cut out the night feed and you dont respond to it with food or comfort, that is CIO and not healthy, esp at 8 or 9 wks when they so desperately need the food, fat, calories, and comfort.

My first child didnt sleep longer than 6-7 hrs until he was past 18mos just for a little reference point. There is a reason most parents commiserate over how exhausted they are!

[Anonymous]

OP here.
I asked her what could I do to make DS sleep better and she told me I could try letting him cry it out for 1 min then soothe.
Then CIO for 2 min then soothe, then CIO for 3 min then soothe... etc etc until 10 min.
When I got home and started doing some research, I realized it was Ferber, and that 9 weeks was prob. too early.

Thanks to all for sharing your thoughts. I will not try this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if your baby cries when you cut out the night feed and you dont respond to it with food or comfort, that is CIO and not healthy, esp at 8 or 9 wks when they so desperately need the food, fat, calories, and comfort.

My first child didnt sleep longer than 6-7 hrs until he was past 18mos just for a little reference point. There is a reason most parents commiserate over how exhausted they are!

Well, the pediatrician said that my DD didn't "need" that feeding anymore at 10 pounds+, that her stomach was big enough to let her sleep 5 hours at this age/size. She DID say to comfort, though, with pats, pacifier, basically anything but food. So not CIO as such and if it didn't work to give up that night and try again later on. She said it was more important to not go back once she drops the feeding (i.e., don't feed her again the next night) then to get her to drop it right away.

I guess the real question is to even try ANY type of sleep training at this age? I'd love for her to sleep at least one longer stretch so I can, but I can survive. Right now I'm letting baby decide what happens all the time and haven't even implemented a schedule yet. Obviously, this is my first baby and I'm clueless.

OP, I can commiserate. Are you going to try anything else?

[Anonymous]

OP again.
I have been reading about this since my Friday appt. and now that I know more about all this I don't think there is much to do but wait...

[Anonymous]

Okay, thanks.

If only our babies read the same sleep books, we'd be all set!! haha.

[Anonymous]

CIO method for a 9 week old is CRAZY.