Ferber method at 9 weeks?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I used the Ferber method for the first time around 6 months. I don't remember if my doctor recommended it or not, but there are a lot of strong opinions on this. I can't say what is best for each child. The only thing I can say is that a sort of modified Ferber method was really effective in my case. I only let my baby cry for 15 minutes before stopping for the first few nights, and then I would stop, console her, take her out of the crib, and try again in another hour. It didn't work at first, but I just kept trying night after night, and eventually it worked after about a week. On top of that, I also started a daily schedule around this age, so that the meals, naps, bottles, etc. were all part of a carefully-timed routine, which made everything much easier for the baby and us.

[Anonymous]

I am a huge fan of the Ferber method. In our case, we had three really difficult nights, BUT after that, the baby would go to sleep without any fuss at all. I think the Ferber method was really the most effective for DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a huge fan of the Ferber method. In our case, we had three really difficult nights, BUT after that, the baby would go to sleep without any fuss at all. I think the Ferber method was really the most effective for DD.

This comment has nothing to do with a 9 week old. Did you do CIO at 9 weeks? Wow.

[Anonymous]

what are the consequences of doing this at such early age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what are the consequences of doing this at such early age?

I think the thought is that babies at this age aren't old enough to learn from the crying. Babies this young need attention when crying. Leaving a baby this young is often thought to just be cruel since they can't yet learn from their actions.

[Anonymous]

Risks are: spikes in cortisol levels the stress hormone, inability to regulate respiration and temperature independently (esp when sick or in stress), crucial bonding stage-baby needs to learn that mother will respond to it's primary needs..the list goes on as to why its physically and emotionally dangerous to allow an infant to CIO at 9wks old. Your also putting your infant at risk for failure to thrive IMO. Infants this young cry to be held, fed, loved, changed...it's that simple.

IMO all babies should be responded to when crying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ohhh PP, let's be clear, Ferber IS CIO. Check and console all you want, but you are checking and consoling while they are crying it out. It may not be extinction method CIO..but he advocates not picking up a crying infant. In my book, he's a cold fish.

OP, again, even if you choose this method at 4-6 mos, at 9 weeks, your baby is an extension of you and should be on you and near you at all times. His cries should be answered. It means he needs something. If he needs to be rocked, nursed, nurtured to sleep, you should do it IMO.

You should know that many of us have children who sleep quite well and we never did any form of sleep training per se.

If you do your homework and read up on the different infant sleep philosophies, you and your partner will make the right choice for your baby.

I was being clear, but I'll try to be even clearer. He does not advocate extinction CIO, which is what most people think of when they hear CIO. Ferber makes the distinction in his book and discusses why he is opposed to extinction CIO. And whether or not he's a "cold fish" in your book is not at issue, especially since I'm going to guess that you've never read his book and thus aren't basing your post on anything other than assumptions and biases.

Also worth noting that for every person whose children never needed sleep training is a person whose children did. So, yes, every child is different and requires different parenting approaches. If, OP, your child at 5 or 6 mos is having problems sleeping on his own, Ferber could be an excellent option for you. I'd advise you to check it out on your own -- don't rely on me, the poster who disagrees with me, or your doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ohhh PP, let's be clear, Ferber IS CIO. Check and console all you want, but you are checking and consoling while they are crying it out. It may not be extinction method CIO..but he advocates not picking up a crying infant. In my book, he's a cold fish.

OP, again, even if you choose this method at 4-6 mos, at 9 weeks, your baby is an extension of you and should be on you and near you at all times. His cries should be answered. It means he needs something. If he needs to be rocked, nursed, nurtured to sleep, you should do it IMO.

You should know that many of us have children who sleep quite well and we never did any form of sleep training per se.

If you do your homework and read up on the different infant sleep philosophies, you and your partner will make the right choice for your baby.

I was being clear, but I'll try to be even clearer. He does not advocate extinction CIO, which is what most people think of when they hear CIO. Ferber makes the distinction in his book and discusses why he is opposed to extinction CIO. And whether or not he's a "cold fish" in your book is not at issue, especially since I'm going to guess that you've never read his book and thus aren't basing your post on anything other than assumptions and biases.

Also worth noting that for every person whose children never needed sleep training is a person whose children did. So, yes, every child is different and requires different parenting approaches. If, OP, your child at 5 or 6 mos is having problems sleeping on his own, Ferber could be an excellent option for you. I'd advise you to check it out on your own -- don't rely on me, the poster who disagrees with me, or your doctor.

ok, but you def not recommend it for 9 weeks then...

[Anonymous]

OP - I remember being DESPERATE for some glimmer of hope when my DD was this age, but PP's are right. Its just too soon.

Please read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He is not against CIO (he calls Extinction), but gives you a very realistic pictures of what to expect at every age, and what techniques are appropriate when.

I read EVERY book out there and while no book is perfect, his was the most helpful and realistic.

[Anonymous]

Child ABUSE - your 9 week old needs you, not sleep training. Try again at 6 months. Just a very mean thing to even contemplate at this age!

[Anonymous]

If you know someone who is doing it ... would you tell them you think its wrong?
I know someone who started it based on their peds recommendation too.

[Anonymous]

These are the meanest responses to a simple question from the OP. As a pediatric nurse, I have to say that I agree in general that sleep training at 9 weeks is not in the best interest of the baby. That being said, I was near a nervous breakdown at week 9 because it seemed my first child NEVER slept. I was too embarrassed to ask for help(not so with no. 2) and my was husband had left for London 3 days after the baby's birth so it was just me.
Perhaps this mother is overwhelmed or just checking information that she received from the pediatrician. I wish that someone had told me that it actually was somewhat normal to feel very emotional and to question my mothering skills. Since I was living in a new city, I didn't have family or even a neighbor to meet up with and get ideas. I just think that we should be a little more gentle in our responses to new mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are the meanest responses to a simple question from the OP. As a pediatric nurse, I have to say that I agree in general that sleep training at 9 weeks is not in the best interest of the baby. That being said, I was near a nervous breakdown at week 9 because it seemed my first child NEVER slept. I was too embarrassed to ask for help(not so with no. 2) and my was husband had left for London 3 days after the baby's birth so it was just me.
Perhaps this mother is overwhelmed or just checking information that she received from the pediatrician. I wish that someone had told me that it actually was somewhat normal to feel very emotional and to question my mothering skills. Since I was living in a new city, I didn't have family or even a neighbor to meet up with and get ideas. I just think that we should be a little more gentle in our responses to new mothers.

so as a pediatric nurse, what do you think of it?

[Anonymous]

Why do people do it then if it is so awful?
Lack of information?

[Anonymous]

desperation