how often do you google your ex?

[Anonymous]

I've Googled exes, as well as old friends, acquaintances, etc. I'm curious to see how people's lives turned out.

One old friend married a wealthy attorney and now lives in a $3 million dollar home off the coast of California and has a yacht. She comes from very humble beginnings.

An ex had a child with an illegal immigrant who got deported, and now the ex as fully custody of the child.

When I knew one friend long ago, she had married a man everyone thought was wrong for her - very controlling, etc. she was gorgeous and smart, but a little bit country. I came across her name the other day and decided to Google her. She had divorced her husband, went to medical school and became a neurosurgeon and is married to someone else now. She's still beautiful.

I think some people have a natural curiosity about others, and Googling doesn't necessarily suggest your marriage is bad or that you are somehow pining away for these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google: never. Facebook... now that is a different story!

I'm facebook friends with 2 exes (and my DH, so he knows), and DH is FB friends with 2 of his exes too. We're both FB friends with the longest relationships we had before getting together with each other, and we're both ok with it. I'm even ok that one ex tries to flirt with him there, AS LONG as his responses are appropriate (or he ignores her), and it's always appropriate or no response.

Then I occaisionally (like, 3 x/year) check the FB pages (cuz they have a level of public or friends of friends access) of 2 of my other exes because they get hotter and hotter with the years passing. I have ZERO interest in reaching out to them - seriously. Over the years since we've split, they've each reached out to me to be friends (not FB friends, but actual friends, email, getting together) but I felt they handled our breakups badly and so I had no interest. But damn do they look good, so I figure no harm in checkin on them on FB and revelling in the fact that "Yeah, I had him at one point! Yesssssss!"

And while my DH and I definitely have some challenges, I'm 100% clear he's who I want to be with, so none of this threatens that, because if I wanted to be with some of these other guys, I could. But I would never want to hurt my marriage with that. I really do truly love my DH, and that is that.

One of my hot exes that I am FB friends with, he was literally the first FB friend request I got when I set up my acct. It took me 3 years to accept it. But now that I did, I do enjoy seeing his pics, even though we don't talk directly to each other.

And then I have one ex who is in the entertainment industry and has a lot of twitter followers, so I follow his tweets and still see him when he's in town (DH has met him and likes him) so that's someone I stay up to date on too, but almost more as a fan than an ex.

Your DH is a wuss who is scared s'tless that you can get banged any time you want with someone else and you are superficial.

[Anonymous]

LOL! Those are, erm, interestinginteresting conclusions to draw! Ok, I'll bite:

Why do you think my husband's a wuss, what are you basing that on?

Why am I superficial, just because I still think some exes look hot and I like reminiscing about certain things?

And if I'm superficial, why did my DH win my heart,over everyone else because he's such a good guy with a huge heart?

Please, hot guys are a dime a dozen (and hot women a dime for every 3 dozen -just ask DH who gets hit on 3 times for every one time I do). Really good guys who are great dad, hard workers and good communicators? PRICELESS!

So do tell, on what basis do you conclude I'm superficial?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I google my ex every so often. To be honest, I started doing it because I was curious if my ex had been arrested for anything yet (he had a drug problem many years ago when we dated). Turns out that he had. Sad.

This. Although I don't consider the arrest sad. He earned it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One night I got a bit tipsy and googled all my exes (about 5 people) in one night. Embarrassing enough, one went to linkedin so I'm sure he knows. No more drinking alone at night for me.

NP here, what do you mean that the person could tell they'd been googled? I know if it is someone using your computer they could check the history, but what is this about LinkedIn?
Just curious. Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

The one named *John Smith* never LOL

The others ones maybe once a decade to see how they're doing. Would never contact them IRL but curious.

They all turned out well which makes me happy.

[Anonymous]

After reading this I went through my former SIL's facebook and discovered the ex had been ill right around the time he was arrested for trafficking cocaine. I still don't feel bad for him. Karma's a bitch, baby!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I am completely over, but he has a substantial web presence, twitter feed, etc., and I confess I check them maybe a couple of times a week. It's hard to explain, but while I'm completely in love with my husband and have zero desire to be with my ex, I nonetheless have an irresistible urge to know what my ex is up to. Just ... I don't know, nostalgia? Other possibilities for how my life might have turned out? My husband knows, and I'd stop in a minute if it bothered him.

I also check on an ex who has had a large web presence more frequently than others. I sometimes pop into my other ex's LinkedIn page to see if anything's changed in his life and I did Google him around the time I learned (through a mutual friend) that he'd gotten married (and found his engagement and wedding photos, thanks to the photographer who posted them on her public website). It's just curiosity; in the age of FB where I hear from people everyday with whom I had far less close a connection, the silence around an ex can be deafening.

[Anonymous]

I have googled my exes from time to time. Except for the college love, I found out they are doing pretty well (one is a successful business woman and another has been promoted to a senior executive position) and I am happy for them. As for the college love, I really have no idea what has became of her. This may seem strange, but all my friends from college avoided talking about her in front of me, and now I have lost the contacts with these friends.

[Anonymous]

Never.

Some things are better left in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every 6 months or so if I'm bored & nosey and something makes me remember the past.

I'm currently contemplating divorce with my H due to an affair.

why are you cheating on him?

[Anonymous]

never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have googled my exes from time to time. Except for the college love, I found out they are doing pretty well (one is a successful business woman and another has been promoted to a senior executive position) and I am happy for them. As for the college love, I really have no idea what has became of her. This may seem strange, but all my friends from college avoided talking about her in front of me, and now I have lost the contacts with these friends.

This is true of my high school friends and my high school ex. So I do sometimes Google/FB him just to see what's up.

[Anonymous]

Have googled old boyfriends to see where they ended up. One guy with a *very* distinctive name I would check back in on every couple of years as more info became available on the web. Finally figured out he had been married, divorced, and remarried and I found a blog by his ex about moving across the country with her new husband. She seemed so not my ex's type so no wonder it didn't last.

Also figured out that his daughter had been arrested for drug possession and credit card fraud but had gone through rehab and had probably recovered (based on her online thank you note to a her former halfway house).

I have no interest in being with him again (this was 35 years ago and I broke it off) but the story of his life is so compelling, like a novel. I wish him well but it now feels odd having been able to put together such intimate details of someone's life. If I ever ran into him, it would be very uncomfortable knowing so much about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One night I got a bit tipsy and googled all my exes (about 5 people) in one night. Embarrassing enough, one went to linkedin so I'm sure he knows. No more drinking alone at night for me.

NP here, what do you mean that the person could tell they'd been googled? I know if it is someone using your computer they could check the history, but what is this about LinkedIn?
Just curious. Thanks in advance.

If you have a LinkedIn account set to show you who has been looking at your profile, then LinkedIn will tell others you've looked at that you were there. It depends on the level of your account. I have a free account so it will tell me that someone from such and such a company was looking at my profile and then it will list some names. I will usually see the name of someone I know and figure that's who was there.

I tracked down a guy I had a crush on in 8th grade and looked at his LinkedIn page. Later I saw that he had been looking at mine so he must have been notified that I was there. It was embarrassing but then he had no clue I had a crush on him so I don't really care. After that I learned to turn off the function that tells you if someone has been there - that keeps you anonymous - at least on the free accounts. I don't know what happens for those who have paid for a higher level of service.