Are there "normal" families at these top schools?

[Anonymous]

Um, PP 11:56, please read the OP's entry. They list specific schools as "second tier," Burgundy being named as one of them. So the 10:50 post is indeed relevant.

To ask whether families are "normal" at "top" schools and "second tier" schools (again, the OP's terminology) is a little odd, I will grant you that. But more important than that is that the question SEEMS to assume that families at "top tier" vs "second tier" schools would somehow be different based on that particular division.

The reality is that many of us choose schools that others think of as "second tier" as our first choice. And that in of itself may make such families "different," but only because they value a different type of educational atmosphere or philosophy, are not at all concerned about whether their child goes to GDS/Maret/Sidwell because it wasn't what they felt was the best fit for their child, and/or any other number of reasons.

We all, of course, "rationalize" our school choices, otherwise they wouldn't make sense to us, would they? Rationalization isn't a bad thing. Our friends who send their kids "rationalize" why they wanted their kids to go there. Same thing about Sidwell, GDS, Lowell, WIS, and so forth. There are varying degrees of being pleased with their school choice, as one might expect. "Top three" does not equal bliss in any respect, and though we love our school OF COURSE there are some things that we might change about it or wish were a little different.

The bottom line is that you can't assume families will be more "normal" at one type of school than at another. You will have your wackos at EVERY school (including public), as well as your friendly folks, snooty folks, humble folks, pushy folks, timid folks, etc.

Who knows, maybe we are the wacky family at our school and we just don't know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, PP 11:56, please read the OP's entry. They list specific schools as "second tier," Burgundy being named as one of them. So the 10:50 post is indeed relevant.

Um, OP's question was related to normal families at top schools. OP's perception is that Burgundy is second tier, and thus not among the top schools, and thus not relevant to the answers OP is seeking. Fine to rationalize your school, but doing so in the context of putting down other schools (Sidwell) is the very thing that the Burgundy parent is disparaging.

[Anonymous]

when did it become cute and necessary to preface all these comments with "Um, " or "Um ..." ?

[Anonymous]

Ummm.....uhhhhh.....huh?

[Anonymous]

15:35: OP was particularly interested in Burgundy; less so in "top tier" schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:when did it become cute and necessary to preface all these comments with "Um, " or "Um ..." ?

Yes, that's certainly my pet peeve. Return of the Valley Girls!

[Anonymous]

BTW, I thought it was "Big Three" not "Top Three"... when did it morph from those being the three most frequently discussed to them being the "top" schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a few schools that are academically rigorous but are almost completely lacking in parent competitiveness.

At WES, we're rarely asked what we do for a living. We're there for the kids, and that's the focus. If you happen to make a nice professional contact, it's because you got to know the person first as a human. At a school function, I introduced my husband to a nice parent that I had met named John and we all chatted for a while. As we walked away, my husband said, you do know that that was the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, right? Well, no, I hadn't recognized him. And I LOVE that I didn't even know that he sends his kids there.



Sorry, PP. You sound very nice, but I'm not. So here goes:



1. The fact that you had to name drop - to refer to the CJ by name/title -- suggests a true insecurity displayed most recently by the WIS contingent, who are posting like mad (and probably mad also) over this board trying to defend their school from a group of marauders seemingly determined to sully the school. Face it. You didn't get into your first choice school. It happens to the best of us. No need to try to lift up WES to a level it cannot, and need not, compete.

2. CJ may not read DCUM, but someone he knows sure must. When he gets wind of this, I'm not so sure "John" will be so gracious when he next sees you.

3. "We're rarely asked what we do for a living"? Maybe because you're a stay at home? I don't know for sure. I can only tell you that my experience at WES functions is that they already know, and therefore need not ask, or do not ask, because they've already sized you up and dismissed you.

4. The fact that you did not recognize CJ is scary.

5. The fact that you did not know he sends his school there is odd - as they practically advertise it duriing the open house, and certainly its gossiped about by all those other moms trying to rationalize that their DCs are there and not at Beauvior or Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Immediate PP, I assume you're talking about WES, but I can't be 100% sure since you also say WIS, and there have been many WIS posts on the board lately, which you seem to be referring to. If you mean WES, are you a parent there? We were very impressed with WES as a possible school for DC, and we've looked at lots of schools. Why are you diminishing it? What's the problem with WES that unsuspecting applying parents don't know about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Immediate PP, I assume you're talking about WES, but I can't be 100% sure since you also say WIS, and there have been many WIS posts on the board lately, which you seem to be referring to. If you mean WES, are you a parent there? We were very impressed with WES as a possible school for DC, and we've looked at lots of schools. Why are you diminishing it? What's the problem with WES that unsuspecting applying parents don't know about?

We applied to WES a few years ago. We got in. But then we got off the Beauvoir wait-list and went there. We forfeited $9,000 in the process. But we felt it was worth it. Obviously, we thought well enough of WES to send our DC there. And this may seem trivial, but we loved the uniforms. Here's what we did not like. The campus. It's fine inside, but not 20K a year fine. Didn't like that it ended at 8th grade, and that it didn't feed to STA/NCS, Maret, GDS. We are one of those place-saver parents - we'll pay 20K per year for 8 years to assure a spot in a great private HS. Also got the sense that the families were more suburban oriented than urban. As DH put it after a new parent event, it felt like we were at X Country Club. Finally, and this sounds awful, but I'm trying to be helpful here - DC is very, very smart. We thought that since it is harder to get into Beauvoir than WES, that Beauvoir kids generally did better on the tests than WES kids. We want DC to be around the smartest kids around. I guess one last thing. Many, probably most, WES families also applied to Beauvoir, and often always St. Patrick's. They did not get into either, so that left them at WES. DH and I did not want to be part of the rejected pile at WES. Sorry. I know I sound awful, but apart from my school obsession, I'm actually quite nice and functional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We thought that since it is harder to get into Beauvoir than WES, that Beauvoir kids generally did better on the tests than WES kids./quote]

I wonder about this assumption. I'm sure most Beauvoir kids are bright, but it's also possible that average test scores are lower at the schools where non-test factors (alumni status, celebrity, etc.) seem to play a larger role in admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We thought that since it is harder to get into Beauvoir than WES, that Beauvoir kids generally did better on the tests than WES kids.

I wonder about this assumption. I'm sure most Beauvoir kids are bright, but it's also possible that average test scores are lower at the schools where non-test factors (alumni status, celebrity, etc.) seem to play a larger role in admissions.

[Anonymous]

Awful and ridiculous, maybe nice and functional but I doubt it. By your own logic you would probably say your DC is last in the class because they got off a wait list. We loved WES but didn't accept because of the horrible AD they used to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum fascinates me.

I'm AA and my wife is White. Our son attends the one of the top schools in pre k. I dont know if we fit in because I dont care. The only things that should be important are 1) my child's happiness, 2) the quality of the education, and 3) more of 1 and 2.

We have a pretty high household income but no family wealth. But we struggle to pay tuition, pay the mortgage and save for college and retirement.

We both work and quite frankly we didnt send our son to the school because we're looking for a socials circle. In fact, just the opposite is true. We get invited to more birthday parties, coffees, etc than we have time for. Our friend cup is full!

These schools are just like the larger world (which is why they are so valuable) for which we are preparing our children. There are cliques and clubs, snobs and blobs, fun-lovers and dullards. Some people start life on 3rd base, while others are held back. GET OVER IT.

I'm glad this forum fascinates you. Thanks for sharing.

What does the fact that you are AA and your wife is white have to do with anything? Same for your odd comment "Some people start life on 3rd base . . . "

These schools are NOT like the larger world. If that's truly what you wanted, you would have chosen a public school.

Your use of the phrase "just the opposite is true" is confusing, probably because it is grammatically incorrect.

GET OVER IT, you shout. OP was asking a fair, heartfelt, question. Get over what, precisely? You're smug and don't even know it. By the way, and I say this because you say you don't care, but I'm sure you are not fitting in. Anyone who says their "friend cup is full" is: 1) wrong; 2) pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like someone is a) off her meds; b) drinking too much today; or c)hating herself more than usual.