I feel like a chump and I'm kind of mad.

[Anonymous]

I think both you and DH seem overinvolved in what they think and do.

You wanted to quit school and felt they needed to be handled so much so that you needed to "tell them together". That suggests your relationship is fractious. You also point to previous concerns with your DH putting them first. YET you called them twice over FIL leaving his job. That's a lot of communication. You didn't leave it to your DH to call or to handle the relationship with them. I can't help but think that you want your DH to choose you over them and so are subconsciously trying to find conflicts in which you can prove you are first.

If you really feel that they personally don't like you and don't respect you, then stop trying to suck up to them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are responsible for the rift OP.

Sorry, but you are refusing to let this go. You are being accusatory and pitting your husband against his parents and being intrusive into a situation which obviously bothers you FIL very much. You are out of line and not respecting other people in the name of not being taken for granted. Sounds like you just like being mad at your husband and his parents to me.

You are insane.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I just wouldn't be that upset about it. FIL was embarassed and in a bad situation. I guess DH just wanted to do what FIL asked because he felt bad about FIL's situation. It is not something that has a huge direct effect on you. I would tell DH that you are annoyed that he lied to you, and then put it behind you.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm going to disagree with most of the previous posters, especially those in the first two pages.

I don't think your husband was obligated to tell you the truth about his father unless it had some practical ramifications for your lives. (i.e. the layoff might require the two of you to help your in-laws financially, etc.) The situation doesn't involve you, and your FIL is entitled to his privacy. When people confide in me or ask me to keep some information to myself, I do, unless there is a need for someone else/my spouse to know. In this situation, try to squelch whatever feelings you have of being left out or whatever and muster some compassion for a middle aged guy who just lost his job.

I totally get why you feel concern about the relationship among yourself/DH/in-laws and why this situation triggered your negative response. But address the underlying problem within situations where DH and/or his parents have behaved improperly. It sounds like there are plenty of those, and your concerns will seem more valid if they're raised then.

[Anonymous]

chump
1 [chuhmp] Show IPA
noun
1.
Informal. a stupid person; dolt: Don't be a chump—she's kidding you along.
2.
a short, thick piece of wood.
3.
the thick, blunt end of anything.
4.
Slang. the head.