is this such a bad idea to even ask - putting overage kid in rec sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

so if i were to approach you to take DS so he'd continue to be on the same team, for the 3rd year, with his best buddy from church (a 2nd grader and only 10-mo younger) whom otherwise wouldn't have a chance to play sports together, how would you convince me to drop the request? tks.

Sorry, ma'am, but no.

(if I had to follow up, I would say "I understand that this would be fun for your child, but my obligation as coach is to provide a fair and fun experience for all the children on my team and on the teams we play. If your two families feel so strongly about this, and the younger boy physically is able, please approach the coach of an older team and have the young one play up.")

[Anonymous]

i'm OP

why revive this dead thread with your nastiness PP? you're 'that parent' that all coaches want to see go.

[Anonymous]

What sport?

I was on a sports committee and we were in charge of team formation.

We did this all the time.

If a child was held back and needed to make friends with his now current grade - sports was good way to do it. We would not do it if the kid was really good but if he was average - yes we would do it.

It's a little more complicated when it is a contact sport and it is also more complicated in middle school - depending on if the child had gone through puberty or not yet.

[Anonymous]

that was meant for PP @ 12/02/2012 07:26, not the immediate two PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What sport?

I was on a sports committee and we were in charge of team formation.

We did this all the time.

If a child was held back and needed to make friends with his now current grade - sports was good way to do it. We would not do it if the kid was really good but if he was average - yes we would do it.

It's a little more complicated when it is a contact sport and it is also more complicated in middle school - depending on if the child had gone through puberty or not yet.

little league baseball rookie/minor level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:As a coach (volunteer) for my kids football team. I wouldn't want him. If he was a big strong kid I might let him play up an age division but never down.

We did have a kid in the mini-pony division (7-8 y.o. one team of 7 y.o and one of 8y.o.) ) that was 8 but his first year playing and we let him play with the 7 and he wasn't the biggest kind on the team. But he was still in the right division age wise.

The leagues have their age cut-offs for a reason.

so if i were to approach you to take DS so he'd continue to be on the same team, for the 3rd year, with his best buddy from church (a 2nd grader and only 10-mo younger) whom otherwise wouldn't have a chance to play sports together, how would you convince me to drop the request? tks.

So the only reason for this request is so he can play on a team with one of his friends? Good grief. No.

As far as "convincing you to drop the request" - I think you misunderstand the way this conversation would go. You: "Can my son play down with kids 1-2 years younger than him?" Me: "Why? Is he small for his age, or have some sort of other issue?" You: "It's so he can play on a team with one of his friends." Me: "Sorry, that's not something I'm comfortable with, and the league wouldn't allow it in these circumstances." You: "But it's the only chance . . ." Me: "I'm sorry, the answer is no." You: "But what about . . ." Me: "This conversation is over." Drop the request or not, it's your call. But if it's my decision, it ain't happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i'm OP

why revive this dead thread with your nastiness PP? you're 'that parent' that all coaches want to see go.

Really? As opposed to the pushy bitch who wants her kid to pay with kids 2 years younger than he is for no good reason (and wanting to play with a friend is not a good reason - schedule a damn playdate). The parent who doesn't give a fig about the rules, or the health and safety of the other kids? I think some self-reflection is in order, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What sport?

I was on a sports committee and we were in charge of team formation.

We did this all the time.

If a child was held back and needed to make friends with his now current grade - sports was good way to do it. We would not do it if the kid was really good but if he was average - yes we would do it.

It's a little more complicated when it is a contact sport and it is also more complicated in middle school - depending on if the child had gone through puberty or not yet.

little league baseball rookie/minor level.

Yes. We would do it for baseball. We also put a very smart kid who skipped 2 grades on a sports team with his school mates and he was way over his head physically. But it helped the kids treat him compassionately. He was very immature in class and on the field but got straight A's in the class and needed friends in the classroom. Sports is a way to connect.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Was he old for the team last year? Or did he outgrow it (e.g. it was a 1/2 team last year and is still a 1/2 team but now he's in 3rd). If it's a team like my son's team, where the group stays the same and plays in an older division each year, then I think anyone who played last year would be welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yes. We would do it for baseball. We also put a very smart kid who skipped 2 grades on a sports team with his school mates and he was way over his head physically. But it helped the kids treat him compassionately. He was very immature in class and on the field but got straight A's in the class and needed friends in the classroom. Sports is a way to connect.

shweeeet! take that 12/02/2012 07:26, 12/02/2012 10:11, and 12/02/2012 10:14! self-reflection is in order for YOU!

[Anonymous]

I would hope that you are not playing against my team because I would be making some very useful phone calls very quickly and the child would NOT be at the next game. Guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

OP, if he has already played for the team for 2 seasons and you never felt you were getting the stink eye from other parents, here's what I would do: Ask the coach to give parents a chance to weigh-in anonymously. have him/her email all parents and ask them to reply if they have a problem with it. Coach should assure them that this is anonymous. If even ONE parent does not like it, your son should drop out. If he's not a superior player, chances are they don't mind.

My kids are truly recreational athletes. They have no hopes/ambition to play in school or beyond. they simply want to learn the rules of various sports so that they can be included in pick-up games and follow college/pro sports. This is all I want for them as well. They are more ambitious with other interests, but team sports is simply recreational. Do you feel that this is the team mindset?

That said, I've also noticed that most kids become more aware of team dynamics around age 9/10. More conscious about equal playing time, standings in the league, being oldest/youngest, etc. Also become more motivated to grow, improve, and reach personal goals. So, this might be the year he doesn't enjoy quite as much anyway. Perhaps he should leave on a high note so he will have good memories of the team?

If they are only 10 months apart, maybe there is another league/team with a different cut-off that they can both play for. If he doesn't play, maybe he could volunteer to be a sub so that he still has a connection to the team.

Good luck.