is this such a bad idea to even ask - putting overage kid in rec sports

[Anonymous]

DS#1 is 9, and i wondered what the parents/coaches would think if i were able to put him on a team/division with mostly 6/7-yos?

last year at 8 he played on a 6/7-yos team and did not stick out too badly (strong, but not a superior player), and i didn't hear any (negative or not) comment from my team or the other teams.

but if i pulled this again this year would the reactions be much different? i know if i were on the other side of this it'd bother me, but perhaps not enough to get upset, cause it's still rec league and the goal is for kids to have fun and exercise. to me one overage kid alone wouldn't ruin the fun.

but what would you REALLY think, parents? tks!

[Anonymous]

I'd be mad. My 7-year-old does after-school mixed-age sport--kids in K-5. That's what we signed up for, and it's fine. But the older kids, who are naturally better at the sport, get more attention, more coaching, more playing time. Not a big deal in our context--I know that's because they are mixed ages. But if we signed him up for a 6/7 team? Yeah, I'd be pretty annoyed.

[Anonymous]

If the overage kid was developmentally or physically more similiar to 6-7 year olds than a 9 year old, then fine. But if he's neurotypical, I'd be annoyed (and feel sorry for the kid).

[Anonymous]

Is this actually allowed? It is for sure not allowed in travel or classic soccer but maybe allowed in rec? I'd be surprised if that were the case. We always had a kid or two playing up but never playing down.

It also seems like you'd want him to be developing relationships with peers (my DS is still friends with some of his rec soccer teammates) rather than much younger kids.

The only reason it would seem to make sense is if the child is extremely small for his age (although depending on the sport this isn't always an issue) or has special needs.

[Anonymous]

OP - why on a rec team would you want him to play with younger kids? What is your reasoning for considering this option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - why on a rec team would you want him to play with younger kids? What is your reasoning for considering this option?

This. Rec league is about socialization. Wouldn't your child prefer to be with kids his own age. Can't really tell from your description why you are wanting to do this. Your kid wasn't the best player, and probably won't be again. Coaches is decent rec programs do a good job of making sure everyone benefits, regardless of natural ability.
I played softball for years. Was never even close to being the best player, or even in the top half, but had a great time.

So, regardless of what other parents think, I'd argue it's truly better for your kid to be with same age kids.

But, since you ask...
If I was a parent of another kid on the team, unless there was some very clear compelling reason (diagnosed delay, etc.) I would definitely be annoyed. Thanks for checking!

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's a bad idea, for many reasons. If he's special needs, put him on a team for special needs kids.

[Anonymous]

My son's soccer team has faced a couple of teams with kids that were clearly older, and there was a lot of chatter about those kids. Some leagues will allow a couple of red-shirted kids per team, with only one allowed to play at a time. If your child has special needs, I think it's fair, but if he doesn't, why would you find this arrangement desirable? If people see a huge ringer on a team they will take notice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it depends why you're picking the younger team. DS is 8 but is in first grade because developmentally, that is the appropriate place for him. He looks and acts like a first grader, thinks like a first grader, learns like a first grader, etc. So this is where he belongs. This means for sports I put him into groups of this same age -- it's where he fits in. He certainly doesn't stand out physically (his bone age is also 2 yrs delayed) nor are his skills any better than a typical 6 yr old. If this is the same with your child, then no one will even know the difference if it's a rec league. If it's swimming or something, where the ages are posted, then there's no choice - your child swims in his/her chronological age group and not developmental. But rec league team sport teams should be less rigid, as long as there are good reasons for the placement (and it's not that your son likes being the best and that is why you're putting him with younger kids, etc).

[Anonymous]

In my experience, rec leagues do pay attention to age. The exception is when a kid is old for grade but wants to be on a team with grade-mates. Then it is permitted if (1) the age difference is not too big (a year but not 2 or 3) and (2) the kid fits in physically and developmentally. So an older kid who is also clearly taller and stronger will be a problem and likely not permitted.

[Anonymous]

Unless there is something wrong with your kid such that the younger team is developmentally appropriate, I don't think this is fair to your child or to any of the other ones.

If the only "problem" is that your child is a lousy athlete, I would be pissed and probably lodge a formal complaint.

[Anonymous]

I think it's possible to play down in our league if you are near the cut-off, but for All-stars, they are very strict about the cut-off and your child would not be eligible.

[Anonymous]

Lame and sad. Find something your kid can do -- acting? Rugby? Archery? Court tennis (clue on that the only place is tysons regency in DC)? Acting? Robotic competition? Scrabble tournaments? Find something that doesn't totally embarrass your kid.

[Anonymous]

This is why my son doesn't play team sports. He is too big (9 years old, 5'2") to play with kids his age and too young (maturity) to play with kids his size. He does tennis, swimming, and tae kwon do. We figure that there is plenty of time for team sports when he's older. Until then, he is working on control and discipline (TKD) and coordination (tennis).

[Anonymous]

He's in 3rd grade and the rest of the team would be consist of 2nd graders (7 and a few 8-yos). The division may have a few 6yo/1st graders mixed in but should be majority 2nd grade teams.

Still a no? even to parents of this team?