Invitation to join church playgroup at the Mormon Temple: foreigner in distress!

[Anonymous]

I'm a liberal atheist as well and I wouldn't join a play date at a Mormon Temple or any other church or religious group. Even if there were no active "recruitment," I still find it uncomfortable to be the only one in a group who is not united in the same faith and beliefs and I would want my child to have a diverse set of friends that included people not within that church community. And I'm saying this even though we just switched my DD into a kosher, Jewish preschool! Like a PP, I'm comfortable with my DD being exposed to religious beliefs and I also like the school because of small class sizes, excellent academics, and a variety of other qualities. However, the majority of our friends and playdate partners are not from the school so my DD is still exposed to a variety of people and I'm not stuck socializing only with people who have vastly different belief systems than I do.

OP, can you continue to be friends with this mom on the playground while avoiding joining her Mormon moms group?

[Anonymous]

I would try it. I am an atheist liberal but it's true what people say, Mormons are the nicest people you'd ever meet even if their religion is laughable. And the discrimination against women (the men get a meeting room, the women get a quilting room) and inherent racism of their teachings (white Indians in the New World? whatever.) But they are neighborly, helpful folks and don't generally cuss and drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi! I recently moved, and I met a very nice mom at the library, we had a couple of playdates at home, and now she invited me to a playgroup she attends at her church (she told me she is involved with the church, her house is full of religious books and pictures, so I assume she is a religious person). I just found out it's at the local Mormon temple. The issue is, I'm a foreigner, I don't know much about playdate/playgroup etiquette in the US, and another small detail: DH and I are both very liberal atheists. I have absolutely nothing against religion, I totally respect everyone's beliefs, but I don't want to be in an awkward position if the playgroup has a religious purpose, and I don't want my son to be influenced. I don't know the mom who invited me enough to talk openly about the issue.

Could you give me an idea about what to expect? Advice?

Look up Kolob.

That ought to scare the shit out of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would not go. I think you will feel awkward once you realize that most there are Mormon and the others that are not are in similar situation as you, either affiliated with another religion or not religious. If I were you, I would not go.

Don't hang out with a group of people that are different than you because you might feel awkward. Great advice!

There's different and then there's PLAIN FUCKING WEIRD:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GO unless you're interested in becoming a Mormon. These people are not befriending you just to have a friend; they WILL try to convert you. First they will tell you alllll about their religion, then they'll give you a DVD to watch and a Book of Mormon to read, then they'll ask you to come to a church service. They are relentless. Believe me, if they weren't trying to convert people, the playgroup wouldn't be at the church.

This is an incorrect statement. We have Mormon friends and neighbors, and not once have they tried to recruit us under the guise of friendship.

Just be upfront with your disinterest in being converted if it comes up in conversation.

+1. Atheist who lived for 3 years in Utah. None of my LDS friends, neighbors, or colleagues ever tried to recruit me. I attended events with many of them that were both church sponsored and just "social". Now fundamentalist Christians, that's another story.

[Anonymous]

Oh, brother. Mormon beliefs are too weird, so we'd better mock and ostracize them to show how enlightened we are. Now I'm convinced.

I am a non-mormon nanny working for a Mormon family. I often (when it works with our schedule) take the kids to a playgroup that meets in their church. Mormons do seem to have a lot of kids, so it doesn't really work to meet at someone's house. Instead, we just meet at the church (or a park or something if there's a cool activity happening on that day, but mostly the church in winter) and the kids swarm all around this big gymnasium area with a stage at one end. The moms and nannies are mostly mormons, I guess, but they don't really talk about religion. As for the atheist PP who said she wouldn't go becaus she wants her child to have friends of all religions, not just one: why would going to a playgroup with women who are MOSTLY but not exclusively of one religion on one morning a week limit your ability to befriend parents of a variety of religions? OP is new tothe area. If she goes, she'll probably find out from the other moms about fun things in the area for kids, and she can meet catholic and hindu and jewish and shinto friends at those other fun activities, but you have to start somewhere! It just seems absurd to me that you would reject a chance to meet some new friends in a new town just because you've met your quote for Mormon friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a liberal atheist as well and I wouldn't join a play date at a Mormon Temple or any other church or religious group. Even if there were no active "recruitment," I still find it uncomfortable to be the only one in a group who is not united in the same faith and beliefs and I would want my child to have a diverse set of friends that included people not within that church community. And I'm saying this even though we just switched my DD into a kosher, Jewish preschool! Like a PP, I'm comfortable with my DD being exposed to religious beliefs and I also like the school because of small class sizes, excellent academics, and a variety of other qualities. However, the majority of our friends and playdate partners are not from the school so my DD is still exposed to a variety of people and I'm not stuck socializing only with people who have vastly different belief systems than I do.

OP, can you continue to be friends with this mom on the playground while avoiding joining her Mormon moms group?

Your logic is mystifying. Your daughter is in a school yet has no friends from school she socializes with. You want her exposed to different beliefs but only enough not to get too close.

This has to be one of the more strange postings I have seen. Good Luck. You will need it as your daughter is going to actually want to socialize with some of those horrible religious people as she gets older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakaurer.

This is like saying you should watch passion of the Christ it get a good idea of the Jews. This book has nothing to do adverage mormon. The main plot is about a crazy guy who happened to be Mormon if he where evangelical or catholic I'm sure he would have been just as nuts but would have quoted the bible or the pope instead. And the background information on Mormons are written in a way to sound as bad as possible.

[Anonymous]

Just go once and if you find it's not for you, don't go again. Pretty simple. They are Mormons, not aliens from outer space

[Anonymous]

I'm a mormon mom. I've been to play groups like this. If I were you I would go and see how it is. I can almost guarantee they will not try to recruit you or convert you or anything beyond maybe inviting you to some kind of event some time (and you can just say no not interested and they'll leave you alone). It's a play group. It will be like any other play group and could be a good opportunity to get to know other moms in your area. And it's not at the temple. I promise. It's at a church building (maybe the one across the street). If you can handle the trade off of hanging out with a bunch of people a little different then you who might talk about goings on in their church (along with the discussion of normal mom topics) while kids play you'll be fine. The fact that they invited you shows that you may not be the only non-Mormon mom there anyway. And thanks to PPs who called the relgion laughable and posted about things they don't understand in the least. Classy.

[Anonymous]

OP just go and have fun! don't worry so much! I am a liberal atheist too and I would gladly attend church functions, play dates with religious people, etc. If they try to convert you, just say you are some other religion or that you are spiritual, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a liberal atheist as well and I wouldn't join a play date at a Mormon Temple or any other church or religious group. Even if there were no active "recruitment," I still find it uncomfortable to be the only one in a group who is not united in the same faith and beliefs and I would want my child to have a diverse set of friends that included people not within that church community. And I'm saying this even though we just switched my DD into a kosher, Jewish preschool! Like a PP, I'm comfortable with my DD being exposed to religious beliefs and I also like the school because of small class sizes, excellent academics, and a variety of other qualities. However, the majority of our friends and playdate partners are not from the school so my DD is still exposed to a variety of people and I'm not stuck socializing only with people who have vastly different belief systems than I do.

OP, can you continue to be friends with this mom on the playground while avoiding joining her Mormon moms group?

Your logic is mystifying. Your daughter is in a school yet has no friends from school she socializes with. You want her exposed to different beliefs but only enough not to get too close.

This has to be one of the more strange postings I have seen. Good Luck. You will need it as your daughter is going to actually want to socialize with some of those horrible religious people as she gets older.

Um, what? Of course we socialize with the parents of kids in my DD's class. In fact, her best friend is in her class and her parents are very religious and have had us over for Shabbat dinner. All I was saying is that I'm glad that her very religious pre-school friends are not her ONLY friends, so that DD and I both have opportunities to socialize with a variety of people. It sounds like OP is new to the area and I was simply advising her not to wrap up her entire social life in a Mormon moms group if it's a place she doesn't think she'll feel comfortable fitting in. It's nice to have different outlets.